A Cancer's Prison

Wow, it's nice to finally find a page where Cancer's correspond w/ each-other! I've been married for 14 yrs (got married young- no kids) to an Aquarius. I'm not happy, and feel every day like I'm missing out on life. I am a good person but am told I'll never be happy w/ anyone since I'm so moody and disengaged. I'm unfocused and want peace, love & harmony and I want to travel. Is this silly? When a Cancer gets screwed-over it's impossible to forget the pain. I'm no longer in love but since I'm so loyal and such a giver I feel trapped. Looking for some tools to set myself free. Any suggestions out there?!

I am a quintessential gay cancer male. I don't like the statement that you think you are unfocused and moody. I get moody too, but never unfocused. The reason why you may be unfocused is because you are unhappy. I know when I am unhappy or sad, I am so unfocused that I am dizzy. Cancers make great, loyal, loving mates. However our partner MUST appreciate that and show us emotionally. They, in return, have to earn our trust. I'm sorry you are unhappy. I don't think cancers are compatible with aquarians. I broke up with a virgo guy. (actually I got dumped), and it has been quite painful, buit I am finding strength I never thought I had. You just need the right mate. Hand in there!

When you ask about when a Cancer gets screwed over,what do you mean? Was your aquarian unfaithful?

Cancer's, can be very forgiving people, However, they will never forget the pain. We are like elephants. We never seem to forget that kind of stuff.

I don't think Aquarians and Cancers are very compatible. Cancers may be too emotional and sensitive for them.

Loyalty is a great quality, but if you are miserable and unhappy at home, what good is loyalty if there is no joy there?

Have you tried counseling or discussing things with your mate? Does you mate listen to you? How important is staying in this marriage to you? (Just things to think about)

I'm not too keen on suffering so if things are that bad for you, I would say to get out! (Of course I don't know the whole story - but there you go)

A Cancer Woman in the flesh-
CL

Hi!

Aquarian woman here...who is fascinated with Cancers! Not that I am looking for a relationship with one! Went down that road once...I would say that in a love relationship, we understand each other very little! We had sex and food in common...very fine things, but communciation is the key!!

I am still working on understanding the complex Cancer...
But, as friends...

If your Aquarian male is also unhappy, I would imagine he is cold, unfeeling, and "your basic shit"! Sarcastic, somehow makes you feel it is your fault—

As far as the strength to leave...if that is what must be...
Think of practical things first...
Do you have a job that would support you?
Can you afford a place on your own?..check out ads...
Estimate monthly expenses...income...balance...

Unfortunately, you may come out favorably financially with a divorce...it usually helps when there are children involved...

Start doing things for yourself now! Build up your self-esteem! You are a worthy, and wonderful person!!

Go there, Girl! Tell yourself by positive affirmation at the very least! (If you don't know what I mean, let me know!)

Take up some interests of yours now!

It is my guess that you have given the most in this relationship and lived your life around his...

Be Good To You!
Star

I meant to say..."may NOT come out favorably"....

Oh, yes!
Welcome to Duncan!
Many good folks here...and a few nutters!

Star

Luna, Star & Others who responded...thank you! You all sound like terrific people. Yes, I have a job which I can finally call my own. Had worked w/ the spouse for 12 years and last March, I went to school to become a licensed clinical massage therapist. People brag about my doing this but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me (classic Cancerian, always belittling themselves, huh!). So financially, no problems there. The spouse wants to make things work. I had moved out for a year and a half (I know, I know) but went back out of guilt. I'm with a Man who LOVES women. Yes, he's cheated several times I just haven't seen it w/my own eyes and he won't admit it. I just know in my gut and brain. I'm old enuf now (35) to finally realize I hate womanizing and it's not my fault. So physically, I've withdrawn completely. Seems safer that way (walls and all). But I just can't get over this darn feeling of responsibility for him. And he's thrown religion, the bible (divorce) at me a few times which was very effective. What sources, aside from your letting me lean on you, can I attain to give me tools to feel better about myself (stronger) so I can finally make a move? I sound like a big peepeewhinerbaby! Thanks again all, I appreciate you!

By the way, the topic above is from me, BeeeSweet...I just forgot to log in!

OK...so, he is not being cold...that is how he would be if it were over for him...which, it obviously is not!

I can understand not liking cheating...even if they don't 'fess up...if there is a gut feeling...well...

Positive affirmations are on the web...I do not know of a specific site off hand...but it is basically telling yourself out loud good things...(when you are alone of course!...so, others do not wonder about sanity!) things as simple as "I am a good person. I am a lucky person. Good things come my way. I am grateful for all that I have and for all that I will have."

You may want to read my description of "Angel Meditation" under the post "Angry Aquarius" on the Aquarius site...click "all messages" and you will see the post...

I know some of this may sound hokey to some...but, it works!

Take Care!
Star

It is tough to deal with someone when they use guilt as a way of holding on to you. And Cancer's don't like feeling guilty!

In situations like this, we often lose our own inner voice. I find it helps to find my inner voice and let it out, when I'm alone at home or out hiking. And I start by saying:
I am the voice, I will lead and follow my heart. I believe in myself, not doubt. I am my own leader.

As far as the use of religion and the bible to make you stay- I believe in God and that he is our father. So - What father would want his children to live in misery and pain without mutual love? None that I know of. But that is a decision that only you can make. Everyone has different beliefs.

I've always told myself to follow my heart. It will lead you where you want to go!

Good luck!

CL

Hi again Luna, you seem like a very caring person and I appreciate your kind words. Yes, you're right. I'm doubting myself too much and I'm going to practice your affirmation. I'm noticing how much Cancers HATE the fear of the unknown, yet the unknown calls for me to explore it every day. Cancers also hate change, even when it is in their best interest. I guess there are no perfect relationships out there, I just want to make sure my next one is close as possible! And no, I have no spousal communication as I hate to hurt his feelings. And he's being so darned nice now, that makes it even harder! So I need to just lay it out on the table soon and see where the cards fall (yikes!). Thanks for sharing your kindred spirit. From this websight, it appears that you and Star help a lot of sad-souls. Kudos to you!

Dude i know exactly how you feel. In past relationships all i had ever done was give, and I got left with nothing but a broken heart. It is so hard to forget that. My boyfriend always digs at me for not trusting him enough but it is just so hard to do. I dont want to let down my guard but I dont want him to be unhappy!! Vicious circle.

you guys a bunch of werdio f*** heads that need a life. astrology is a false hope. preaching unfactual information. get a life. you f*** nimrods.