Aqua girl in love with Cancer guy:(

Ok, I need some advice here:
I don't know what to do about my Cancer man, we have been dating for almost two years now, and it's more a sexual thing between us. Wow, what a experience, the sex gets better and better over time.
Anyway I just don't understand him. I mean he'll call me to stay with him and when I go I'll normally saty for days and weeks at a time. And just when I think it can't get no better he swiches up. He'll stop calling, won't return my phone calls, texts, jus no cantact what so ever. And this will go on for about a month maybe, then just like that he'll call me and I'm right back over. He hurt me one time, he sat up a date with me, I talked to him like a couple of hours before it was time for us to meet up and he said that he was going to call me right back and I didn't here from him for about 3 weeks later, but when he called me I went over his house to talk to him about the situation, but I couldn't bring it up and we ended up having good time like nothing never happened.

It's just so much that I want to say to him, but don't know how. I don't want to push him away by being a nag, or making him feel that I want a realtionship with him. Eventhough deep down I do, I know he don't. I never delt with someone this long with out being in a committed reltionship, and I don't know what to do.

I know that Cancers are suppose to be mushy and emtional, but my Cancer man don't show no emotions and he's not at all that affectonate.
I want to be affectionate towards him, but I am scared.
This is the first guy that I have ever messed with that have me gone like this. When he call I go running, I just want to love and take care of him, but he won't let me.

I know that he cares about me, I can see it in his eyes and he's very sweet and I know that he has a real gentle side to him, he let's it out every now and again, but he just got me so confused. What to do? please someone help me

"I don't want to push him away by being a nag, or making him feel that I want a realtionship with him." ...but this is what you want... is it not?

yeah that's what I want be he don't
I'm not going to push myself on him, things are getting better, we are spending more time together and he's calling more than usual and so I think if I be a lil more patient then he'll come around or do you think I sholuld express my feelings to him?
I mean you a cancer right? would that push you away?

...not after two years.
I would express the feelings, but not in a demanding way.

I don't know how, I'm so scared. I've tried once before and he just went into his shell. It seem like everytime we ge closer or I show a emotional side he just retreats. And when he go into his shell it jive mess with me

I am an aquarius and I'm all about friendship and communicating and when he don't talk to me or ignor me, makes me upset and I don't like feeling like that and I don't like being shut out

I would suggest using subtle words (but in a powerful way... with the kind of thoughts that strangely make undeniable sense days later [like a light bulb just came on as if to say, "how didn't I see this before]). In other words, give him something to marinate on when he is in his shell... he'll probably like that/how you found your way into it... indirectly. (if you can do this, he will probably feel more comfortable opening up to you)
JUST DON'T NAG! ...this is a sure way to push him away.

Man Oh Man have I been here.

When I read this story I thought to myself...ooooh noooooo she's just a booty call. I think at this point you may be just an option and not a priority...but you are making him your priority and he knows it. I would say start ignoring him...don't return his calls and see what happens. If you do you might eventually get what you want...if you don't you probably won't get what you want. The odds are against you right now if you continue doing what you're doing in my opinion. My Cancer likes to earn what he gets and I had to learn to start being aloof sometimes. I would say ignore his first call and answer his second call. This will probably throw him off as he would not be expecting it. The next time you talk to him tell him you need his advice. This always works for me!

Then say to him, well there's this girl that's been dating this guy for like 2 years and she really likes him a lot. She thinks he's a great guy but it seems like the only time he contacts her is when he wants to have sex. She really would like to be with him in a relationship but she feels as though he doesn't feel the same way. She really would like for him to be honest and truthful about what role he sees her playing in his life right now. She would be really appreciative if he would let her know where she stands. What advice would you give her so that she could communicate to him that she would like to take their relationship to the next level OR what do you think the guy would tell her...yadda yadda yadda, etc. Tell him enough that he should be able to figure out you are talking about you and him.

1. You are telling him a story...your story...indirectly and non confrontational
2. He will know how you really feel
3. He should be able to feel comfortable enough to give you an honest response

Now, if he gives you an answer that you don't want to hear...remain calm...just say thank you for helping me I really appreciate it and go on about your merry way and move on. Don't be surprised that once you do this that he will do a complete turn around and start calling you and maybe even treating you a little better. You have to set the tone. Don't make him your priority. Let him come to you. Let him earn you. Either way hopefully you'll get the answers you need. No guarantees but after 2 years either piss or get off the pot dude.

thankx Ya MaMa, I really did like your comment and sometimes I do feel like a booty call, but lately I feel more of a connection, we fell off during the summer and we just stared back dealing with each other and I don't call as much, he'll call me, I mean when he do call it's like his words get lost, but I know that he'lljust be checking on me, but don't know how to say it. He wants me around him more and he's starting to share more personal things with me, so I do feel like it's more than just a booty call and I am going to try and approach him just the way that you said.

Second of all Ms.LeoKitten, how dare you to say that I need to have some self respect, you don't even know me to make a staement like that. He has never disrespected me, ever. I know that when he retreats in his shell he don't mean to hurt me, this is simply the way that he is. We have talked about that. And yes I may be wrong for waiting on him, but at the same time my life is not on hold. I love my Cancer man, but I am still dating, so if he don't want to be with me then that's cool, because I am still doing me and I will continue doing me until I know that this is what he want. Now don't get it twisted he is the only person that I am having sleeping with, but I am still living my life. So before you make comments like that you need to know what yolu are talking about.

I mean what's wrong with you anyway, why are you so angry? I have seen some of your comments to other people and you sound so mad, what, a cancer man has hurt you so now you're angry with the world? you need to take that s--- out on the person you're pissed with

b---- suck a d---
and looks ain't even a issue,
i'm not going to sit up here and go back n forth with your angry a--
i don't have time for the negativity

clearly you don't

Please ladies... can we stop with this 'polar opposite,' 'same sex' battle?
Here, DXP, is a prime example of just how easy it is to misinterpret a polar opposite in something as simple as giving advice (like I have said many times before... either you learn from each other 🙂, or you fight until it falls apart 😢 )...

"he ignores you...he calls...you go running. you wonder why he does this? only because you have repeatedly allowed it."

nikkinecole,

the answer to your question is simple:

he withdraws when you try to get close because he hasn't decided if you're the one for him. i know it sounds a bit harsh but based on what you've describe, it definitely feels like that's the case.

maybe he has and he doesn't even know it...but us Cancers have a tough time sorting through our emotions sometimes. but whatever the case, he just hasn't decided or hasn't really sorted out his feelings for you yet.

i would give him some time to sort things out. let him think it over on his own. don't push him too much -- give him a little space and let him think and decide.

Nikkinecole,

despite what some on this board are saying, I don't think the issue here is your cancer man needing to open up. He just needs to figure out what he wants -- whether he just wants a purely physical relationship or something more meaningful.

If you want something more than a physical relationship, you should talk about it with him openly and honestly. Tell him clearly what you want from him ... Even at the risk of losing him.

This isn't about him not opening up to you. This is about you and him both needing to clearly define your relationship.

what I don't understand is how you come to be in love with this guy ? has he really offered you anything emotionally ?

Thankx for the comments🙂 they are very helpful, I think I need to just put everything on the table and see what happens. I'm not a emotional person and honestly him being shut off to me emotionally never bothered me. I'm not an emotional person and normally a guy being all mushy and into his feelings would turn me off, because that's not what I am about. I don't catch feelings and if I do catch feelings I never had a problem with getting the guy if that's what I want, but with him it's different. It's like a game he'll chase me and I'll chase him. And I always got some type of kick out of it, but now my feelings have gotten involved, he's so sweet, and caring. When he's in a good mood we wil have the best time together, he will share any and everything with me, it's just when he go and retreat and me not knowing how to be open with him. It's more to us then what I am saying. I know that I am not just a booty call, I'm not even tripping about that. And I don't have low self-esteem either, I'm just feeling him and don't know how to express my feelings thats all. This is a new experience for me, and when I feel or if he tells me that I am not where he wanna be, then I have no problem moving on

The story of a cancerian life... 'kindness taken for weakness...' and the bullies/bossy people try to exploit us (to all who will entertain them). Which causes us to get 'snappy' and people realize how much of an @ $ $ hole we have the potential of being. I think having been taken advantage of (as often as it happens), for having such a trait, is what causes us to 'push people away' as they say. We want to be sure of your motive before going along with anything, especially if it is going to be long term. So I would have to say, yes... I agree with UC.
"So I should be thankful that my crush wants to wait for us to have sex, as much as me—"
I would say yes to this too. (Speaking for myself,) I would want to wait to see if the attempt at a relationship (without intimate relations), would be worth a failed friendship (because we all know how spiritual [though most ignore this going into the act] a connection sex is). This blinds people from what they really want in a mate... because all people tend to want to do after that... is get it in!

Also, I think Aquas are more fascinated when people are not that into them --- if this guys turns around and smothers her with love, mushiness...will she still feel the same way?

zenalchemy, I think you is right I think that aquas want to be loved from a distance and I would be turned off from a guy that's all emotional, and that's why in the beging I was cool with him being emotionally shut off to me, but it's been almost two years and I am really feeling him and I want to tell him. but I am so scared. He has told me that he's not ready for a realtionship and that's why I'm scared because I know right now he's not ready to give me what I want but at the same time I want to tell him, just so he'll know. I really want to be with this guy. And then there are times when I want to do things for him, but I don't know how to just do them. There have been times when I did lil things for him and it didn't get me anywhere, he just went into his shell, I guess. So now everything I want to do and say I'm second guessing it. He got me so scared of him, and I'm tripping because it never mattered to me before. I never cared about a dude, I was never pressed, when it came down to a dude I've always had a "I don't give a f---" attitude about it, but now the tables has turned

OMG! me too I bore so easy and it's crazy. I thought that I was the only person like this. My bf is a aqua also and she is so different from me.
jdmoneyhoney, have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? and if so how did you handle it?