Blew it? Part 4

For the next week I cried and cried and cried. I began writing a poem. I write a lot, but have NEVER written a poem for a guy. NEVER! It was really beautiful and I wanted to bring it to him (I didn't remember his home address). Things worked out for me 2 Saturdays ago to loan a friends car for a few hours. I wasn't expecting him to be home (he was working a lot of OT on Saturdays, I'd heard from mutual friends) and was just going to leave it in his mailbox, or behind the screen door. Well, he WAS home.

I knocked. He came to the door and looked ... happy. His eyes were all big and he had a HUGE smile across his face (IDK why, but we can read each other's faces. He might try and hide his feelings, but I can always tell by his facial expressions as he can mine). He invited me in and we talked for a little bit about what had been going on. He said he couldn't listen to my voicemails and would delete them because he didn't want to hear me "like that" and that he'd try to read some of my messages but they'd get all scrambled up and out of order because they were so long and they didn't make sense (he has an iphone I have an andriod). When I told him about the things I'd been going through and how hurt I was by how he treated me, he looked genuinely surprised. I got the impression that he never read and deleted the messages from me asking him for some help (they were very long, sappy, sad messages, totally out of my character). His eyes watered up and he said he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me and that he was trying to slow MY feelings down (something he's told me before. He doesn't say or do things to slow me down so we can meet at the same level of our "relationship").

He kept doing this thing with his mouth that he KNOWS drives me crazy and turns me on. I asked him to stop. He told me to make him, so I did. Of course we had amazing sex. He kept asking me if I was ok, if I was sure about doing this, if I knew what I was doing, if I really wanted to do it, what I was thinking. It was kind of annoying, but I stayed strong and didn't cry, didn't act like a sissy and get all emotional the way I normally do. He seemed surprised.

Before I left, I asked him if he thought it was better we just cut ties and not see/talk to each other anymore. He said he didn't want that, but that he thought it'd be best for right now. I asked him if it was really just space he wanted. He said yes and that I still haven't given it to him with my texting at least once a week. I asked him for how long. He said, "I don't know. I just need space." I said, ok, goodbye and turned around and left.

I haven't contacted him since. Everything inside me wants to, but I know I can't. Not sure if I already blew it, or there's still a chance. Please ask me any questions about details you want 🙂

I'm a cancer, also.

I understand what you're saying and I thought that too. That's why I'd try and break things off with him a few times. Each time HE would suggest we stop having sex, because our friendship was too important. I'd agree, but could never comply when we were together. I accused him of using me for sex, but his argument is that I am always the one hungry for it and he's fine with not having it either way (which is true. I'm always the one undressing him while he's watching a game, or movie & initiating it. He rarely does). He told me that when he has been with girls in the past, just for sex, he usually goes to their houses for a few hours and leaves. Said he's never really had girls at his place and when he does, they don't spend the night and keep things there. I know it's probably all lies, he's just SO convincing and I'm a VERY good judge of character. I know he's lied to me twice (not about anything too serious) but I could tell from his face.

He's told me things like I confuse him and he doesn't really know what I want because one minute I'm happy with him and the next minute I don't want anything to do with him. He asked me what my "time frame" was for a relationship. I told him I didn't have one, as long as he continued to show me he cared and continued to open up to me, which he has.

When we first started being physical with each other and spending more time together, he'd never kiss me when I came or left to see him. It bothered me. He said he didn't do those things and that type of affection is what you did when you were in a relationship. Now, he blows me kisses, hugs me, kisses me every time I see him and every time I leave. He talks more, tells me more things about his childhood and even his day, where I'm usually the one talking.

I'm not trying to make excuses, just giving more details.

Just give him the time he needs to adjust and be in a relationship..its hard for cancers to fully commit, they get scared and back off...just calm down and keep your cool...

Posted by Finbuff
This is typical of what I, a Cancer would do with certain women. We have sexual needs, and many ladies we use for that only.
It starts that way, but what a young, immature cancer doesn't realize.....it's tough to separate the emotional from the physical.
Cancers think this is possible (when we are younger), but over time we realize we are hurting someone, so we try to end it.

He loves the physical contact with you - the sex, but he doesn't want to be tied down with a relationship.
The bottom line is, he likes you sexually, you turn him on, but he isn't connecting with you on an emotional level, the way you are with him.
Sorry to be so blunt, but he isn't "into you", the way you want him to be, and doesn't see you as lifetime relationship material.
The only time I would cut something off like this would be when I knew I was hurting someone, and felt guilty about it.
Every time you go back to this guy, you will hurt yourself more and more. Best to cut your losses and move on.
Unless you can get a a 'relationship guarantee' out of this guy. That won't be easy.

What's your astrological sign?
I feel for you, but the bottome line is, you were on the rebound and gave yourself to him too soon.

Thanks so much I think you answered my topic I posted. But what I don't understand is why he told me loved me and let's see where things go but not follow through later when I invested even more feelings in the relationship. Can someone please answer my topic on this board? Thanks.