Blocking a cancer guy

Guys,

Please give me some Cancerian insights. There is this Cancer guy I like a lot but when I asked him if he likes me, he says he does not seem to know what he wants, so I decided to block him from my life.I However, he still attempts to contact me.

1. By saying he does not seem to know what he wants, is he rejecting me gently?
2. In still contacting me, is he just afraid of losing a friend or is there possibility for more? When I asked him about it directly, he avoids the question and swings to giving me some 3rd person advice like 'patience is a virtue in relationship' and i should let go of my past when my question is directed at his feelings directly.

I really appreciate your kind advice.

1. By saying he does not seem to know what he wants, is he rejecting me gently?
2. In still contacting me, is he just afraid of losing a friend or is there possibility for more? When I asked him about it directly, he avoids the question and swings to giving me some 3rd person advice like 'patience is a virtue in relationship' and i should let go of my past when my question is directed at his feelings directly.

I really appreciate your kind advice.



hey accelerator1981,

because i don't know the whole backdrop to this story, i can only say this: first of all, he's coming off very contradictory, this is typical cancer behaviour. he could be testing the waters with you, in that case you're better off being patient and not too forthcoming. i.e, like when you asked him directly how he felt, and you got third person waffle. i would be very shocked if you got a direct answer from that question.

not only that, he might be hesitant of your feelings and more immature cancers are very insecure and never 'put themselves out there' in case of rejection. so i would say, assess your own feelings, be very slow-motion and by doing that you'll get a better feel for what he thinks of you. no pressure 😉

Nimbue,

Really appreciate your advice.

There's a big problem to this. I have no patience after my last relationship. It was extremely emotionally draining. My ex has cancer and I went through with him during his treatment stage but he dumped me when he recovered. When I told him my relationship with my ex, he kept telling me to let it go. To let go, I need to find comfort in another relationship.

Actually I told the Cancer guy I am only seeking ltr (long term relationship) and since what we seek are different, I would prefer that we not contact each other. He is still checking others out on a iphone dating app but explains it as just ogling at eye candies and nothing more. I really like his candid nature. He still messaged me 'Just let me know if u need someone to talk to 🙂'. I am staying put for the time being and not doing anything.

I need to gauge his intentions. I am confused. I need to decide if I should totally ignore him or wait for him. But I don't wanna be hurt again. I will wait if he does have intentions for something more den friendship.

i've heard this 'checking out eye candy' thing before, could be a myth who knows? anyways, don't do either-wait or ignore him. ignoring him is fake and gamey, because you're interested in him. waiting for him means putting yourself on hold and who wants that?

maybe go with the flow for now. look at him like a friend so you won't be as emotionally invested. you've put your intentions out there, and trust me, when he's done dithering and knows for sure he wants to be with you, you'll know all about it.

my cancer (oh how appropiate) took 2mths to tell me he wanted to be my boyf. it seems they are verrrry s...l..o...w m...o...t...i...o...n. it can grate *shrugs*

Nimbue,

2 months? and you just went with the flow and waited?

well, i didn't exactly wait. i knew i was into him but i didn't know how he felt, and him not answering texts and stuff would throw me off a bit. then we had a little misunderstanding when he got frisky and i didn't want that. i didn't say, i want to be in a relationship with you, but i didn't entertain the notion of sex either.

so all that time i was talking to other guys but he was always the one who mattered most. i just called him out of the blue one day (this was nearly 2 months after first knowing him). we really connected and i had a good feeling about everything. he still seemed hesitant, so i left him to it, knowing i was already hooked, lol.

and then it came to the super full moon weekend, also my birthday, when it all came out that he adores me, wants to be my boyf, etc. the thing was, i knew he would text that day. i just knew. and when i showed my sister the texts her eyes lit up and she got so excited, lol...whereas i just thought, hmm okay. we've had aa few psychic moments since then, too. he wants me to move in with him but i don't see the harm in waiting awhile...

see, i can't always tell what he's thinking. which is unusual for me, i'm pretty intuitive. when i feel the impatience bite i just distract myself and try to suck it up. what i'm seeing is, anytime is gets intense or over-excited and i don't respond very well, he'll withdraw. i don't know if its to punish or what. he gets over it in his own time, and i leave him to it. do you have any other questions?

Thanks nimbue. Sigh, u make me feel that cancerians are all very 'patient'. They just stray away when they have to make a choice and come back somehow.

seems like there's no easy way to get a direct answer from them

no probs sweetie 🙂 you've got it spot on, i think. i hope yours works out!

I wish u luck with ur cancer guy 🙂