Cancer man said he's not attracted to me( female )

I've been putting events that occurred on the website regarding this cancer man . Two weeks ago , I always chatting with him on the phone and he says " I've never been attracted to my female friends because it causes problems . Like I've never been attracted to ( he started naming people and then included me ) I was hurt and confused I've had feelings for my friend , my confusion came from 1.) He told his bestfriend and mom he has feelings / likes me but he feels like I have secret and I'm not letting him know ( basically him saying he wants me to say I like you). 2.) He has asked me about my previous situations and says I wanna know for future reference and when I asked him to repeat hisself he smiled and said no . 3.) Everytime I'm around him he's touchy and always stares at me , like if I turn around he makes it known he's staring . 4.) He once texted me and said " we have a great understanding that can lead to elsewhere but that's another topic " . I've been hurt and haven't spoke to him because of this . The reason why I'm writing this is because today him , his sister , and bestfriend all called me different times all looking for me , I'm sure they were calling on his behave . How do I approach this situation ?

He sounds like an insecure dick. Hes trying to passively aggressively get you to pour out your real feelings and intensions. He knows exactly what hes doing. Your silence is maddening to him.

That was a real dick move telling you that over the phone. He knows its not true, but still said it.

This is his courtship. Backwards ass dance.

Yes I was really hurt at that moment . Since then I haven't reach out to him , he's been calling me nonstop . I hate to ignore him but I can't have someone in my life whom says certain things to me and then says that . If this is the case then he truly feels this way then I will have to accept it moving forward . I just came on here to ask what should I do next ?

At koniucha: I'm dining that now lol, but he's calling me and so is his loved ones . I know he hates being ignored and I'm not playing games with him, I just feel misled

Thank you

Its up 2 you. If you want to give him another chance, no judgements. If he does it again or anything similar, drop him.

I had a guy do something similar like that 2 me, mars in cancer. I did give him a second chance, but im MUCH more guarded. I sympathize with men and their insecurities, but whether man or woman shit like that isnt cool. Its hurtful and makes me build these walls of mine up brick by brick. Its like taking 20 steps back. So much simpler just to ask directly, but cancers dont work like that.

theyre scared to death of rejection. Their actions are completely opposite of how they feel. Some just dont know any better.

@Cluelesscancer: I'm not harsh with him , I've been super supportive of all his endeavors ( pisces female ) he is a bestfriend to me / but I've grown to have feelings for him , but for him to say that to me threw me for a loop

DMV : I don't want to give him another chance , but I do miss him and our conversations , laughing , his energy ! But I don't like how he made me feel when he said that , I feel moving forward if I was to continue to talk to him I would be not myself and be super guarded

The same exact thing happened to me, I couldn't talk to/be around him without having what he said always in the back of mind..you should try to bring it up and just tell him how you feel. Maybe he can explain.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
DMV : I don't want to give him another chance , but I do miss him and our conversations , laughing , his energy ! But I don't like how he made me feel when he said that , I feel moving forward if I was to continue to talk to him I would be not myself and be super guarded

I can totally relate. I myself became "different". Definitely couldnt relax around him or be as open with my feelings as I was. The guy I am referring to would go on and on about how compatible we were, called and texted me all the time. Than he told stopped and told my friends that I made him feel trapped. I was and still am hurt by that. I also have not talked to him about how he made me feel when he said that. I was very embarrassed.

like I said, I gave him another chance, but he doesnt get the real DMV. More like well guarded bits, this way I protect myself from him. I still really really do like him. I just move much slower and cautiously.

Maybe you can do the same? Take your time?

I thank you for your sharing you experience and words of wisdom, I guess the real reason why I'm reluctant to come around is because if he does feel that way , I have to move on and distant myself , but I will take your advice

Posted by DMV
He sounds like an insecure dick. Hes trying to passively aggressively get you to pour out your real feelings and intensions. He knows exactly what hes doing. Your silence is maddening to him.

That was a real dick move telling you that over the phone. He knows its not true, but still said it.

This is his courtship. Backwards ass dance.

I agree with this % 100. Don't be a dick, he should say something to you, if he feels something towards you.

I didn't get the part " this is his courtship , backward dance" . I'm not assuming he should just tell me how he feels , I believe I should too, however I'm currently not sure if I should reach out to him because how he made me feel however , I know he's missing me or concern maybe because he's been calling me and having others do the same

i just dont think the OP should chase a man who is careless with HER feelings. i am all for women showing initiative and such but not when he says hes not interested.

what he did was selfish on his part and he now knows that made her upset. very strange way to find out if someone likes you or not.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
I didn't get the part " this is his courtship , backward dance" . I'm not assuming he should just tell me how he feels , I believe I should too, however I'm currently not sure if I should reach out to him because how he made me feel however , I know he's missing me or concern maybe because he's been calling me and having others do the same

what i meant by the courtship is, Cancerian people are not direct at all. Some would rather resort to manipulative games to get answers or to gauge interest. some dont do it with malicious intent. its like breathing to them. they fear rejection so instead of him asking you if you like him or him even saying i like you, he will push you away to see if you come back. if you come back, you must like him. he has his answer.

However, in the process of him building up his confidence and self esteem, your ego took a blow and you second guess yourself and your own sanity and self respect.

he moved forward, whereas now your the confused party.

I am the confused party however he doesn't know because I've been silent and he can't stop calling me , his mom has my mom #, and I've asked my mom not to get involved because he's asking people to call me. It's so weird DMV because he always says like I feel like you're hiding something from me , but I don't understand why he is so concern with knowing do I like him , was it just for confirmation or because he likes me or both . I may never know. Right now I miss talking to him but I'm in no way stressed when he first said that to be I was up all night and even cried for a few minutes

@CluelessCancer: I've hurt about pisces being ultra sensitive but I've been told I come off as disengaged , not clingy , etc . That may come from my chart I have a lot of air , fire smh . So does my friend even though our sun signs are " water signs "

I didn't make out your whole sentence aqua however I do have a secret and it is confirmation that I have feelings for him

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
I am the confused party however he doesn't know because I've been silent and he can't stop calling me , his mom has my mom #, and I've asked my mom not to get involved because he's asking people to call me. It's so weird DMV because he always says like I feel like you're hiding something from me , but I don't understand why he is so concern with knowing do I like him , was it just for confirmation or because he likes me or both . I may never know. Right now I miss talking to him but I'm in no way stressed when he first said that to be I was up all night and even cried for a few minutes

well, i respect cancers for wanting to know where they stand with people, especially someone they fancy. I 2 am hard to read. My scorp moon makes me appear detached when really i am very engaged. im also a cancer rising.

i do believe it has alot to do with confirmation. they need to be feel safe and secure. consistency.

when my friend told me what that guy told her, i knew immediately he was full of shit, but i was still mortified and embarrassed. felt like the rug had been pulled up from under me. i felt like he put his ego b4 my feelings. i still think about it ALOT even when im in his presence. i cant help but think.

i decided to give a second chance because in the past, ive done some crazy shit to see if a guy likes me, but ive grown since then.

maybe this is a time where you both can grow and learn.

my fear is that, this becomes his way of communicating. pushing you away just to get answers.

the naming of the names part is where he fucked me all up in the head. i mean, why even go that far?? he musta been hella desperate to know where you stand.

maybe you do come off too detached for him to get a good read.

Listen to everything this Sage of Sag is saying.
This isn't a "Cancer" man thing it's an "insecure" man thing.

Cancer can be roundabout about liking you & act shy about liking you but they will NOT straight out tell you they don't and turn around and expect you to be there. I had a non-Cancer try this with me....it's all insecurity. Don't give in Pisces, because if you jump this time there will be a lot more hoops ahead for you.

@Iwill I do miss cancer but like I can respect the message but not the delivery I thought it was tasteless and not looking out for my feelings, and when he said it , it wasn't even relevant to the previous discussion at hand ( so random). When you say I need to change what do you mean? If I'm reading this correctly

@Claro: when he said I'm not attracted to my female friends it causes problem , it wasn't a general statement because he started naming friends and then says me as well as the last one , when I asked him to explain him self he could really do it , what he said didn't make sense to me , he said " because it's like your friend did something and it's like why you do that and everything goes wrong " I left it alone by telling him I don't understand but I would not talk about it anymore

Pearl: I have NO plans at the moment of giving in . @Infinite8 I'm giving him the silent treatment to get my head around the whole situation because like I posted earlier when he said that to me I got no sleep and cried😢

Posted by Iwill
But OP, if you feel insecure, why not at least take his calls and see, what all the fuss is about? When you feel ready that is.

.

ive always been reluctant to tell people when they hurt me. Especially water people, or sadistc people because then theyd know how to hurt you again.

id rather act stupid and drift off in the sunset.

Posted by DMV
He sounds like an insecure dick. Hes trying to passively aggressively get you to pour out your real feelings and intensions. He knows exactly what hes doing. Your silence is maddening to him.

That was a real dick move telling you that over the phone. He knows its not true, but still said it.

This is his courtship. Backwards ass dance.

+100%

Idk why but I sense your comment came off a little rude clueless cancer , I don't have an ego and I value him and our friendship HOWEVER the reasons for me posting this passage with the things he said to me but then saying he's not attracted to me is him misleading me all along ( that's what it feels like) so my silence doesn't root from being ultra sensitive or my " ego " being boosted it's be simply getting my thoughts together and seeing what I need to do next , him and I have has different disagreements but still were able to be amicable

Aqua please don't argue😢 ! I feel like everyone should give their opinion but with " respect ". Nevertheless I thank you for your insight

This was sort of a tangent you went on my primary agenda is to NOT get in bed however if you continuous read this post you would have saw that during that conversation he said I'm NOT attracted to my females friends then when on saying people like ( names people) and put me on the listed , from then I felt her because what he previously stated to be which me and others indicated signs of interest

OP, I have lightly browsed through this thread so excuse me if I sound off or repeated something someone else said. Basically, you giving him the silent treatment is just as low as his mind games. Silent treatment is actually a form of abuse and it puts people's mindset and health in a very bad condition. (I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it, I'm just pointing a few things out.) And he obviously has a huge ego and/or is scared to express his true feelings for you, which is probably why he's having his family call. He's probably wondering what the hell happened to you and if you are ok or what he did to make you go silent. Many times, cancers do silly things when they would really love to express their love to someone or have someone express their love to them. Most of the fuckery they do turns out bad and they end up unintentionally hurting the other party (sometimes it's intentional). That's why most cancers truly don't understand how badly they hurt others when they are trying to get validation from someone who, for whatever reason, won't give it. I think you should take his calls and at least tell him why you don't want to associate with him and then put up your boundary and move on.

But if you want my two cents, for what it's worth, I think he really likes you and is maybe even falling in love. Like I said, cancers are really weird and backwards in the beginning of the love phases. Just imagine a crab wanting to go forward in a straight line but because this is sort of hard for them to do, they go backwards, forwards, side to side and then rinse and repeat until they finally reached their destination.

And to minimize the mind games with cancers, you don't play mind games yourself. Be blunt and honest and they will be blunt and honest with you. They tend to keep mirrors in their back pockets. Sometimes it's because they're naturally good at making people feel comfortable, so they'll emotionally feel you out and pay attention to all of the little details about you then they will LITERALLY begin to mimic you and match you at every level (emotion (good or bad), humor, energy, etc). This is why they can adapt to almost any crowd. DXP goers, am I wrong? Also they could be mirroring you to show you how something you did or said or some quality about you feels when on the other shoe. This goes for both good things and bad things. Cancers are very easy to deal with though...well not really but for the most part. Just think of how you would like to be treated by them and treat them that way, and they'll return the favor. Simple right?

Last comment, you're probably wondering: if cancers mirror so much, what do they reallllly look like behind that mirror? 1) their character is tied in with the character that is getting mimicked so you can sense what parts about them are them and 2) when they're not in deep emotion with someone (like love or hate) and 3) after you've shown them that they are safe with you and the loving feelings are mutual, then you will truly see the deeper heart and mind of a cancer, a lot more than the general public will see.

Thank you star mooney I appreciate your words of wisdom .I feel bad for doing the silent treatment as well , I don't feel good about it , make no mistake this is NOT because I'm being vindictive it's because in trying to process what I need to do next , I feel sometimes this friendship may have ran it's course

Well just tell him that and ask for your space. And he will give it to you and then have some time to think about how his ways hurts the people he cares for, instead of getting upset at you for not talking to him and then in return giving you a cold shoulder or something. The best way to solve the biggest cancer problems is first communication.

He's giving me my space , he hasn't called In like three days . I just want to move on with my life and maybe in the near future we can be amicable and friends without the feelings . I'm pretty sure it would be a while he'll reach out again if ever

*Sighs* typical Pisces. My bf is cancer and I'd have to agree with cc on the fact that you are being way too sensitive with this cancer and he knows it. It's apparent that he likes you and senses that you like him too but is holding back (this is why he feels u have "secrets"). He was only teasing when he said he wasn't attracted to you, hoping you'd respond emotionally (which would show him u like him). Childish, I know, but they mean well. See cancers are sensitive like us which causes them to say things they don't mean in order to appear tough. Don't underestimate the power of a cancer's intuition though. He knows you better than you think he does and will pretend like he doesn't until YOU express the feelings are mutual. Cancers give us that emotional security we so deeply need and want over the macho man we always fall for (assholes) so don't lose out on what may be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Like Aquavita said, you have to be physchologically and emotionally mature to see that what you consider games, is simply a man pouring his heart out to you but in a very indirect way.

When he said I'm not attracted to my female friends and decided to throw my name in it , the last thing I thought was him indirecting , I thought he was saying " hey I know you like me but I don't like you like that " and that left me emotional and what angered me is what he stated all those things which made me think he played on my feelings , nevertheless he stopped calling me as of last week he must be done , and I haven't reach out either , tho I think of him everyday and miss him I'm just going to stay away , someone told me along time ago that I need to be careful with him because it seemed like he likes me but probably didn't from the jump so he trying to convince hisself that he doesn't and in the mis of that he's hurting me

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
When he said I'm not attracted to my female friends and decided to throw my name in it , the last thing I thought was him indirecting , I thought he was saying " hey I know you like me but I don't like you like that " and that left me emotional and what angered me is what he stated all those things which made me think he played on my feelings , nevertheless he stopped calling me as of last week he must be done , and I haven't reach out either , tho I think of him everyday and miss him I'm just going to stay away , someone told me along time ago that I need to be careful with him because it seemed like he likes me but probably didn't from the jump so he trying to convince hisself that he doesn't and in the mis of that he's hurting me

Girl, call that man! He stopped calling because he doesn't want to seem like he's bothering you (since your igging him). I bet you that if you called, he'll pick up within seconds (unless busy). Either way, he'll call you right back. Cancers are the only sign that totally get us on an emotional level so let your guard down a little my fellow Pisces. They don't intentionally hurt people unless you've intentionally hurt them. This man wants you because he told his friends; they don't do that if their not interested in you. Keep me posted and good luck. _??_

Oh and cancers are big kids at heart (with the right person) so don't take everything he says towards you seriously. They like to joke around.

So guys just to give you all an update .I tried reaching out to cancer and there was no answer on his cell and there was no answer , a few days later I called his home and his mom answered she asked what was going on between him and I , I didn't go into extended detail like I did on this website , sometime last week ironically his best friend calls me and ask me what was going on and I disappeared him everyone . Then from last night until this am I keep getting random text from an unknown number telling me I got it goin on and they love my shape , I didn't answer the text . I don't know how it was but I didn't have my number for the last fours and stuff like this never started happening until I lost touch with him until then I will continue to move forward and enjoy the holidays with the ones whom love me the most and vice versa , I thank you all for your insight ??_—

A lot of typos but I hope you guys know what I mean lol

I had sooo many typos previous post I had to write this over:So guys just to give you all an update .I tried reaching out to cancer and there was no answer on his cell , a few days later I called his home and his mom answered she asked what was going on between him and I , I didn't go into extended detail like I did on this website , sometime last week ironically his best friend calls me and ask me what was going on and I disappeared on everyone . Then from last night until this am I keep getting random text from an unknown number telling me I got it goin on and they love my shape , I didn't answer it . I don't know who it was but I had my number for the last four years and stuff like this never started happening until I lost touch with him until then I will continue to move forward and enjoy the holidays with the ones whom love me the most and vice versa , I thank you all for your insight ??_—