Cancer Men - UGH! LOL

So I saw the cancer guy for most of the weekend last weekend (until Sunday), but haven't heard from him since. I am cool with only seeing each other a few days a week, as I have my own life and my own friends - BUT it would be nice to at least HEAR from him. Today is 4 days. Is this a normal cancer thing because I have read they are clingy and even though I have seen him every weekend (except for one) since we met 6 weeks ago, when I don't hear from him for days it makes me wonder if he just isn't into me. Does he just go into his shell every week or what? Any input about cancers??

Seriously help after the way I handled and reacted to this exact same behaviour, I reckon you should just not think about why he is not calling you or wanting to see how you are...and think more or the lines that you're not gonna hang around thinking like that and go out and mingle as if he doesn't exist when he's not there....that way you'll make him jealous and therefore more attentive to you, and/or you'll meet other guys and not be hanging on for this crab.

Thanks MellowDee!! I actually have been doing that. In fact, I've been doing stuff with friends every night this week - BUT when I get home and check caller id I'm disappointed. LOL Although, I haven't been dating much bc I don't like any guy like I like the cancer. I guess I have turned down opportunities in that regard.

i have serious hangups sometimes about calling... i usually don't want to catch them at the wrong time, or if it's just inconvenient. i'm also paranoid that i'm being a bother to people until i get to know someone very, VERY well. basically i don't want to look like i'm coming on too strong and people freak out.

Thanks fiddlesticks! It probably doesn't help that I never call him unless I'm returning HIS call. I am hoping he's like you and it's not that he isn't into me because we just seem to really connect when we're together. Maybe it's just me 😢

how long have you been seeing each other?

you should call him more often. he'll feel more comfortable calling you if he thinks you want to talk to him (well, i would anyway). or he could just have gotten into a routine.

It's been over 6 weeks now :-)

Hmmmm since he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious (even though his ACTIONS say otherwise - that's what confuses the hell outta me lol), I figured it was better NOT to call. Maybe I should at least once.

HI Help!!

Don't take Cancer men's avoidance seriously!! He may just like you but doesn't know what to do! Or he may be testing you?

I had a cancer man once, and at the beginning of our relationship he also seemed to avoid me (but he knew that I liked him more than just a friend!)... I would never get any phone calls from him, but I would phone him once in a while, just to see how he is doing!!!

I was getting frustrated with his avoidance... and then decided to give up... however, he soon realized that I had lost my patience with him... and made an effort to ask me out for coffee?

Does he know that you fancy him more than just a friend? Make sure he knows!

You don't need to spell that you fancy him with words... just show little acts of attention(don't go over board... or you might just scare him!) If you live on your own... invite him over for supper (have some candles)... and just chat!! See if that helps...

But I also agree with MellowDee!! Don't stop your life for him... show him that you are interested in him, but go out and mingle with your friends...

Yeah, at first they don't contact you as much. I remember my (now bf) used to tell me to call him once in a while lol because he was the one to call me all the time.
And now we're in contact everyday throughout the day most of the time when we don't see each other, he'll also call me in the evening or before he goes to bed.

Wow! You guys are great! Thanks so much for the help b/c I am CLUELESS about this guy. I'm a sag and don't usually get rattled like this about anyone. lol

queridagirl - Well, I give him lots of attention when we are together. We are both very affectionate when we are together - VERY. That's what I don't get - I'm worried with the not wanting anything serious thing a/k/a "FBs," he is just playing me. But we act like a couple when we are together. Hand holding - he touches my knee in the car - hugging/kissing, etc. I just don't get it! He would know what to do since he knows I like him right? So maybe he just isn't into me? He definitely knows I like him, as I've told him how much fun I have with him and HE is the one who said he didn't want anything serious - I said I wanted to try dating. Sooo I don't show my feelings now - very aloof - guess that's why he said he can't figure me out bc *I* push/pull (even though I feel HE does that). I'm cool with the continuing my life thing though bc I quit the dropping everything for a guy thing back when I was in my 20s lol I'm 33 now 😉


RainingPeanuts - Ha ha yeah, he says I never all and asks me to call sometimes and I always say: "no, you call me :-)" You give me hope...thanks for letting me know it might get better. lol But would he wait like four to five days to contact you?

Thanks again you guys!! :-)

Okay thats great!! He does seem to be interested in you!!!

Like I said, he may be testing you?

Sometimes, Cancer men stay away in the beginnig to really see how much interest you have in them! After all they don't just wanna give their hearts to just anyone!!

You have to gain their trust!!! So try not to be too allof!!! You may show him that he can't trust you and won't be able understand you (you become too mysterious for them). like you said "he can't figure me out"! They want to be certain that you like them!!

Keep giving him attention - phone him up! Tell him you miss him! Don't become cold all of a sudden!

And yes, the phone calls do get better after a while!!!

Thanks queridagirl! You are giving me more and more hope - BUT did you get that he SAID he didn't want anything serious - do you mean he might not have been sincere about that? He's waiting until he knows for sure—? I am just usually the girl who tells other girls look, he TOLD you - he's not an ass he was honest. lol But this guy just SEEMS to be lying! LOL Know what I mean—?? Crap! I've become very much aloof - though Friday night I did get jealous when he was dancing with a girl and let him know that was cool but not IN MY FACE LOL She was all about him. lol I wouldn't normally act like I care, but I'd had a few myself. lol Other than that, I've tried to be affectionate, while still playing it somewhat cool bc naturally I am wanting to run since I'm afraid this guy has the potential to break my heart. OMG I am NEVER like this - I usually don't give a shit about a guy until he convinces me lol Man, never dated a cancer before and not sure I can again. lol

So anyway, considering him saying he doesn't want anything serious, I thought I'd go the other route and "move on" and see if he cares.

Wrong huh—— I suck at this!! I HATE GAMES AND CANNOT PLAY THEM RIGHT LOL

P.S. He's on the gemini cusp if that has anything to do with it. lol

Thanks sooooooooo much queridagirl!!

Ha ha now I see why everyone says "butter" LOL I just thought y'all were weird lmao It replaced s**t with that LOL

Just realized "had a few myself" might have looked like I meant guys - or dancing w/guys lol I meant drinks. Oh the confusion of the written dialogue. lol

I also used to get jealous in the begining - testing you once again?

Thats fine letting him know that you were cool about him dancing with another girl (don't show that it gets to you)!! But once he were finished dancing with this "other girl" I would have gone up to him and would have started dancing with him in a flirtish kind of way (very subtly though) but that would show that I was interested in him!!

Funny enough my ex Cancer man was also on the gemini cusp!!!

He might not want anything serious, because he may have gotten hurt in his previous relationship.... but Cancer men love being in a relationship (like I said, as long as they know that their hearts are not going to be broken!)

1 - Show him that you like him (Don't scare him!!)
2 - Show him that he is free to make up his mind should he want to be with you!
2 - Show him that you are a catch and that no women compares to your standards!

1 - Show him that you are interested in him and ONLY him (don't scare him though)...
2 - Show him that he is free to decide whom he wants...
3 - BUT that if he were to have you, he would be the luckiest man on earth!

Yeah, he did tell me that he had his heart broken by 2 girls previously, but he hasn't been in a relationship for a long time - neither have I - I was cheated on by my ex husband and have had a bit of a wall built for some time now. OMG I am such a downer right now - sorry lol Maybe it's because I decided to text him and ask if he wanted to hang out and I haven't gotten a response yet. lol

Yeah, that's how I'd normally be, but a few drinks and I told him what I thought and then danced with a few guy friends of mine. lol I was just so hurt b/c just before that I saw him get a girl's number - turns out it was a friend he hadn't seen in a long time - ack! I am screwing this up aren't I? LOL I don't know what he's done to me - I am NEVER like this! LOL Anyway, I am afraid MY heart is gonna be broken, so *I* am holding back too (normally - not THAT night though lol). Are we just both being equally dumb perhaps? LOL

Thanks so much for your help queridagirl! I just read your prior posts and am sorry about you and your cancer guy 😢 Moms suck sometimes! Big hugs!

soo thats what ive been doing wrong, lol ive been scaring off my cnacer pal with all my calling LOL, aggravating the shit outa him lol

wow, i liek your advice everyone....
yeah u should definately lsiten to everyone, makes totalll sense.
hope all goes well, keep us posted 😉

you texted him? great!! The fact that he hasn't texted you, doesn't mean you are not on his mind!! He is most probably trying to figure you out!

You danced with other guys? thats fine!

Just make sure he sees that the way you dance with the "other guys" is not the way you dance with him! Show him that HE is the "special one", and that the other guys are just plain old friends with whom you would never want to have anything more than friendship!

and yes, love is all about games (unfortunately 😢 ) - why can't people just be straightforward? Ain't human beings complex!!! LOL

I think the worst thing is showing someone that you don't care about them, when in reality you do!! You may just lose out on something really special.

I know at times we tend to hold ourselves back from love, because we afraid to get hurt! But remeber that you are a human being and you will always experience pain, whether you are with him or without him. So don't hold yourself back! If you like him, show it to him! If it does not turn out the way you want it to turn out, at least you know that you did your best you could and can then move on!!

About my ex... yip am still hurt and still very much in love with him... but i know in my heart that I gave my relationship 100% and that there was nothing more I could do!!! It just angers me that our relationship ended not because we did not love eachother but because of his mother! I hope one day he realizes that!! I guess talking here in these message boards about Cancer men seems to help me deal with my pain in someway... LOL

LOL @ Lil.Ladie.Taurus and I don't think I've been calling ENOUGH LOL

Awww queridagirl I can almost FEEL your pain (must be the pisces rising in me). I am so sorry. I feel bad now to be bringing this out in the open again for you - ruining any closure. BUT I know I have read many places that Cancers can't let go of their exes...sooo.... 😉

The cancer guy called me when I was taking a bubble bath lol Ended up getting in touch and he's coming over....ACK! Maybe I should call him more often lol

Oh, and thanks for the pep talk - I need it. :-) I think I am always ruining my chances with the ones I REALLY like out of fear. Your advice is much appreciated.

Glad I could help!!!

Am smilling now... knowing he is coming over!!! He is interested!!!! HORAY!!!

The best of luck for the both of you!!!

Keep me posted !!!

And remember to make him feel special! They are worth it!!!

wait till he gets into clingy mode... then you won't be able to stand him

We had a great time together :-) I am all giddy today. lol Soooo, apparently, I just need to CALL him and maybe I will see him more. He said he had given up on me. lol

Thanks queridagirl! I think I need to work on making him feel special, though last night I did let him know how much I wanted to see him.

fiddlesticks - I don't know, I think I could handle him being clingy - I am really into him. :-)

Look... about the clingy part? Mine wasn't (I think his Gemini trait helped that out!)

But, to be honest I am a bit worried abou the interaction between a sag and a cancerian... you might be to "lively" for him (but then again, it might be just right because he is in the cusp of gemini)... I guess time will tell!!

Anyway, am glad you phoned him up and that all was sorted!!!

Keep smiling!! 🙂

I've just found out one of my bosses is a cancer...as a matter of fact his birthday is day after the guy I just split from. And I was thinking that he's a really nice guy. I mean he still is, but it made me think of the other 😢

Mellowdee... its normal to be thinking of your ex still (its been recently that you guys ended right?)...

...Take a look at me... Its been two years and I am still missing my Ex Cancer boy.... how pathetic is that?

At least we are able to appreciate all the good aspects of Cancer Males....

BUT if we look a bit deeper into our relationship, we may well find that there were reasons for our breakups - I would rather be alone, than have someone who shows no respect towards me (this is regarding my ex)

Perhaps we can comfort eachother Mellowdee!!!! 🙂

Ok Queridagirl good idea 🙂

I have to agree with the clingy cancer male comment. Ive been living with one for over a yr now and it can be very unsettleing. One day they cling to you and the next they climb into their shells. For this libra its rather hard to understand. The way I have learned to deal with it is.....tell him I love him and remind myself he loves me and just go find something else to do. He always comes around and thanks me for understanding. He thrives on knowing things are secure at home even if hes not here 100% mentally sometimes.

"But, to be honest I am a bit worried abou the interaction between a sag and a cancerian... you might be to "lively" for him (but then again, it might be just right because he is in the cusp of gemini)... I guess time will tell!!"

yeah. i dated a sag once. worst experience of my life.

lol fiddlesticks, my bf has 3 sisters, cancer, sag and scorpio... the cnacer and scorpio used to FIGHT ALL THE TIME. it was crazy, ahir pullin kicking, scratching biting, cursing, betaing. it was terrible. frnakly, im afraid of sags. lol

the cancer and scorp fought? or do you mean the cancer and sag?

ohh sorry, the cancer and sag lol my bad

aww i'm a sag too. 2 of my best friends are cancers. my dad is a cancer and the guy i've been talking to is a cancer. we just have very different philosophies on things that end up causing many misunderstandings, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. i say just let him make the moves. he will proceed with caution, you just have to be understanding and not try to rush things. my cancer called me about as often as yours was calling you for the first couple of months. then we ended up hanging out every day and he stayed the night with me every night. don't be at all disapproving. you have to be very tactful (which is hard for a sag haha) and understanding with them. they are insecure creatures so when you are disapproving in any way, it puts them back into their shell. all the cancers i've known have been that way anyway.

you being on the scorp cusp probably helps a lot too

yea i think so too