cancer/pisces...match made in..?help?

Hey all...first time posting..just wanted a little clarity. I am a Pisces female dating (dated) cancer male...its only been a month and a half. At the beginning it was awesome..he was super attentive sweet tender sensitive all the typical jazz...I dealt with his whims and moods cuz I understand. He was constantly pursuing me, extremely into pda's etc..then he would backtrack and analyze us and I'd reassure him, we fought a couple times worked through it. He can be pretty insensitive sometimes (Leo cusp?)so we had a fight cuz I was feeling down and he was being particularly insensitive, so I got upset and left..i assumed we'd work through it. But he was suuuuuuper hurt by it (not really concerned by how hurt I was...) and needed time to think, typical I guess..i thought all would be well, but instead he has said he is now too unstable to be involved, wants a therapist and can't trust due to his ex, and is sorry we got romantic!!! And "just needs time" wants to be friends (yea right) but its weird cuz he has feelings for me...so I guess all I wanna know is: WTF? is this normal? Super intense emotional connection and then basically abandonment? Am I really supposed to wait around for this dude? Is that a joke? I'm assuming that's just a cancers way of exiting and trying to be cool about it but it seems more like he chewed me up and spit me out and now I feel like an idiot for trusting him..any thoughts? I'm a Pisces, I'm super sensitive and compassionate and I thought cancers were supposed to be too.. Thanks..man that was long..

I didn't leave him I left the situation cuz he was being a dick, I kept talking to him. And I have zero expectations..other than believing the lines he fed me but I've dated enough to know that most of it isn't real..and you gotta get into the meat and potatoes of things before you really know someone...

I had one of those. Pretty much the same situation as yours. He would never talk after a disagreement, just shut down, ignored me, then came back like nothing happened, nothing resolved. When I inquired about the shutdown he went through he said I needed to learn his boundaries and not question him. But, each time he ignored, the time span became more and more...that's them punishing you, so you learn your lesson. I let him go, told him to not contact me. Some time went by, then he kept contacting me, not respecting MY boundaries. Still, to this very day, he continues to make contact.

Made in hell.

That sounds awful misslibra, I'm sorry! Yuck..i really hope that isn't the case with me but I dont have a lot of hope in these matters..match made in hell? Yea..probably..what a bummer,he was one of the sweetest guys ever til the dark side came out! And I can smell a lie like a fart in a car, I can guarantee this dude isn't running out to get a therapist anytime soon!! Haaha

Wth? So is that just the way it is with cancers? I mean they can't all be like that..i thought they were sensitive and thoughtful? What was the outcome?

Are you in the pacific NW? Cuz I am..

I need more details to pinpoint it. Why did you leave him the first time? What did he do? What didn't you believe? It sounds like he really did like you and was into you but you doubted his love because if it's that beginning stage cancer love you probably didn't believe it so you kept doubting it until he got tired of you doubting him and rejecting him. So if you don't believe the good side you will probably believe the bad side so he sad fuck it I give up and then showed you his genuine bad side. When a cancer is treating you right too soon or doing things and they tell you they are doing it for they mean it even if it comes off as odd. Sometimes their words come off as lies because times they are thinking they are planning their next move so if they didn't act but still talk to you about it it's like they are about to act on it depending on the answer you give. Right answer they open up more and act off of their inner feeling and pursue you harder because they know you want it. Accuse them of lying about their feelings when they really mean it you will get a--well fuck you I don't need this shit I put myself and my feelings out there just to get rejected. And they stop doing it overtime and get closed up.

Yea I'm not desperate at all..and I'm not waiting, but when someone showers you with affection and love and tenderness and all that crap it's hard to just walk away from it. Any dude would be the same way..its not just girls, i would never do that to another human being. Starchild: I didn't leave him...we just had a fight cuz he was being pretty rude while I was feeling low..so i just left the situation..but remained in contact and still wanted to be with him. It was a fight I assumed we'd work thru, but instead he started doubting us and everything and I kept trying to focus on positives and i told him how much he meant to me but then he backed out and said all that crap I mentioned above..my question about waiting for him.was in jest..i guess I just dont understand why he'd say he wants a therapist and needs time, as in implying that time will heal his wounds and make things right for him, and us. He could've simply said "I'm done" but that did not happen. It was confusing and stupid. Hopefully that made sense..

Interesting point of view though, good to know..

How can you not see? You couldn't have been hurt and rolled out on him because you thought he was being rude but he could eve been giving up on love and saying he needs a therapist for depression or to clear his head or personal problems. That's probably what happened he provably felt you never took him seriously then abandoned him in his time of need and he probably didn't get that you wanted him. Happens often I see from reading cancer stories. Cancers like to show you how much they love you but they suck at telling you because they are shy.

Hmmm. But what about my time of need when I was hurting and he was rude to me? Am I supposed to sweep that under the rug? I know he was hurt by me walking out of the argument but damn, I still tried to make it up to him..i wish he'd done the same for me :/ instead he just disappeared..it was really outta left field, was not expecting it at all. Sigh...

No offense but you seem like a defensive person so he could have not even have known tht he was in the middle of a fight then you judged his reaction to you wrong. How did he get you when you were low? One thing cancer cheerleaders have wrong with us is tht we always complain about bad communication on the cancers part but then we keep up with their bad communication ways by not ending the process and just coming at them straight with good communication. We let them choose the pace. But then when the walls fall down you realize the cancer was acting that way because they were reacting to times when cancer chaser was upset BECAUSE of the cancer. But the cancer really loves the chaser and the chaser really loves the cancer but miscommunication screwed your chances of living a happy future together. It's a vicious cycle.

The only reason I seem defensive is cuz people on here really like to scrutinize and attack posters..I'm merely tellin it like it is...im a super caring loving person who wants the same in return. He knew I was having a bad day, and he just kept picking at me and being insensitive despite me telling him to stop. I think what he did is really cruel. I would've gladly continued communication with him but he chose to bail, after what I feel was him leading me on. Couples work through issues, he didn't want to. Man its taking all my strength not to txt him, but I have resolve and do not wanna be treated like something you can dispose of. He has bruised my heart and betrayed my trust unfortunately. Wish I could just be the loving nurturing Pisces I am with him, but I have to draw the line somewhere or I'll get walked all over. Boooo.

If he's a ass then just leave him be. I don't know what else to say. Looks like he's being a ass because you rejected him. I know what kind of ass your dealing with but you made the monster so either you put your pride aside and do the thing he is waiting for you to do--prove yourself--or move on to someone else. I wish my friend would have me but I fucked it up so bad I can't have her and she won't change in any romantic way. That's my fault.

I kinda feel like he started it, but won't admit it. I admit my leaving him at that time made him.feel bad and then it kinda spiraled into the nightmare it is now, but that's his doing..i tried to make it better. Sigh. Sorry yr ditch isn't working out either star 😢 Its been 3 days for me too..haha wow it feels like an eternity and you totally get it, NW. I'm embarrassed..but I miss him..we were really connected.

I meant sitch..love phones that correct without you even seeing..

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Wth? So is that just the way it is with cancers? I mean they can't all be like that..i thought they were sensitive and thoughtful? What was the outcome?

I'm a cancer/Leo cusp and I can tell you that the emotions and anger that we go through is unreal if he is telling you that he needs a theripist please give him his space or move on. I have been physically violent with almost all of my boyfriends so if he is saying that he needs help let him get the help that he needs. When is his birthday?

Posted by StarChild63
I need more details to pinpoint it. Why did you leave him the first time? What did he do? What didn't you believe? It sounds like he really did like you and was into you but you doubted his love because if it's that beginning stage cancer love you probably didn't believe it so you kept doubting it until he got tired of you doubting him and rejecting him. So if you don't believe the good side you will probably believe the bad side so he sad fuck it I give up and then showed you his genuine bad side. When a cancer is treating you right too soon or doing things and they tell you they are doing it for they mean it even if it comes off as odd. Sometimes their words come off as lies because times they are thinking they are planning their next move so if they didn't act but still talk to you about it it's like they are about to act on it depending on the answer you give. Right answer they open up more and act off of their inner feeling and pursue you harder because they know you want it. Accuse them of lying about their feelings when they really mean it you will get a--well fuck you I don't need this shit I put myself and my feelings out there just to get rejected. And they stop doing it overtime and get closed up.

I agree the worst thing that you can do to a cancer is accuse them if lying about their feelings.

July 19? Well I sure hope he gets it...

Hes incredibly gentle and kind I don't see him being aggressive at all..

Ok. Will you private message me your story?

We're not a good match to put it simply.
It's an easy and quick connection but not that meaningful and quite superficial actually.

Kick ass response! Update is: He misses me and hates that we aren't talking..where it goes from here? Who the hell knows...🙂