Cancer vs Cancer

I am a cancer female having relations with a cancer male. We are currently both in long term relationships with other people and have children with them. The affair has been going on for over a year now. We have both had some personal issues and are not getting what we need from our so and have found it within one another. This is not the norm for either of us (cancers in general) and we both care deeply about our families and are staying for our children. We understand each other so well! Since cancers tend to hold on to their past, I'm wondering if it will ever end. Has anyone ever been in this situation before and how did it work out if so? Please no bashing!

What are the signs of your long-term partners?

LunarMaiden- Mine Scorpio, his Sag

Aurora- Neither of us is married and I guess a part of me wants it to be over with him but I have so much going on emotionally that I'm having a hard time letting it go. Being cheated on, death, drugs and money are just a few of the issues we are dealing with. Regardless of the situation I know it is not the right thing to be doing. I become very attached to people I care about and this whole situation is not normal for me and I'm not proud of it!

Your right and I appreciate your responses. I'm going to work on my problems and hope that it all works out for the best for all of us! I wish you the best as well : )

Posted by flyover
Omg everyone on Dxp is cheating.

LOL

Yea go work it out with husband. This will end badly. My friend finally left her sag ex alone after she knew she has to do it for her-not anybody else. Affairs never workout

Haha get out now before shit hits the fan. For Fuck sake for reals..

You have no attachment with him, and I guess the dick is really good.. clouding your memory and judgement..

I don't like baggage or drama. Why do you want that in your life..

And drugs a big no no..

Since you guys aren't married you can detach asap. Just explain to your family's I have been thinking this isnt going to work and I found someone else. Just be honest and leave the proper way..

Ha, everyone thinks it's so easy - why do you all think leaving a LTR is the easiest thing?? You know nothing about either of their situations, even whether or not the SO's are good people? She said they've both decided to stay for the children, and a lot of people do that. A lot of people have arrangements.

She asked for no judgements, but everyone sees cheating as a very black and white thing. "You're gross," "go home," or "leave."

Nothing in a relationship is ever black and white.

I said leave because it will get ugly and people will get hurt-including their kids. The worst type of love is the type where you love each other the most but can't really share a real life together. They should either leave their loveless relationships with their bf and gf and do a shared custody thing or stop fucking with each other. I'm for getting the love you want but don't be messy about it. Messy ain't fair to anyone.

GalIOnTheCusp- Thank you for not being negative and bashing like I asked! I appreciate everyone's responses but as you said "nobody knows the details of our situation" and we are both def in difficult relationships which is how and why the whole thing began.

The difficult relationship isn't the affair it's the long term relationships and my Scorpio has cheated on me several times in the past but I was still in love with him and got past it so I'm pretty confident that he would get over it eventually. I just don't understand why people comment if your "bashing"?! If you don't agree with the topic move along!!

Posted by GalOnTheCusp
Ha, everyone thinks it's so easy - why do you all think leaving a LTR is the easiest thing?? You know nothing about either of their situations, even whether or not the SO's are good people? She said they've both decided to stay for the children, and a lot of people do that. A lot of people have arrangements.

She asked for no judgements, but everyone sees cheating as a very black and white thing. "You're gross," "go home," or "leave."

Nothing in a relationship is ever black and white.

I left a 15 yr marriage with the father of my children, the person I had dreamed would grow old with me. You know what's harder than leaving a long term relationship? Being shackled to one when there is abuse, hate, cheating...and you slowly die inside, you slowly hate every moment of shared time and space with the person you planned to have a life with, and you slowly lose all love, respect or ounce of good feelings for that person until you realize you loath and hate that person to your very core. Worse, you see your son's only ever knowing their dad abusing their mother, and they hate the fighting, but you wonder if this is how they will grow up expecting normal relationships to be, growing up to think that it's ok to treat women badly, and growing up to despise their parents. That's what is worse than leaving a long term relationship.

Posted by Misskitty11
The difficult relationship isn't the affair it's the long term relationships and my Scorpio has cheated on me several times in the past but I was still in love with him and got past it so I'm pretty confident that he would get over it eventually. I just don't understand why people comment if your "bashing"?! If you don't agree with the topic move along!!

What's done is done.
And this is why Cancer's cheat.
Best believe it's because our partner has cheated on us.
Once a guy lets me know he is not faithful, I lose all sense of loyalty.
I then consider myself a free agent after the bond is broken.

I say the relationship you have with the Cancer is most likely meant to heal and help you move on.
Maybe you needed a confidence boost to leave this relationship.
Maybe you needed to feel beautiful and desired again.
You really should have dropped the Scorp.
But revenge is sweet I guess.

It's just not healthy to have a relationship where you both are cheating.
What's the point? Perhaps you and your Scorp should discuss having an open relationship.
If not there has to be an endgame at some point.
Does your partner know you have another boyfriend?

Posted by busyeyes88
to be honest, I find cancer women to be one of the biggest cheaters...

No! It will not work out and it is not based on sun signs!! Anything born out of lies and deceit will fail. If you both ever get together you will both be consciously aware that you are capable of doing to each other what you both did to your partners.. Disgusting!

More than likely those Cancer women are mirroring the cheating partners in their life.
I can't speak for all Cancer women and I'm sure it varies but;
at the core of Cancer women is devotion.
We want and must devote ourselves to someone.
If we can't give that total devotion; devotion that is appreciated and reciprocated;
then we are not happy in that relationship.

If our man is running around cheating, lying, abusing and forgetting about us then we can't totally devote ourselves.

Cancer women are extremely faithful.
Once someone breaks the bond by showing abuse, disloyalty or unfaithfulness we wander off disillusioned and heartbroken.

Some of us won't cheat even under the above circumstances but you shouldn't really expect that from anyone..
Not that I am making excuses for these women.
Because they are pretty much creating more problems for themselves.
That's not who we want to be.

We want to belong to someone and give them total devotion.
If we can't then you shouldn't expect it.

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by GalOnTheCusp
Ha, everyone thinks it's so easy - why do you all think leaving a LTR is the easiest thing?? You know nothing about either of their situations, even whether or not the SO's are good people? She said they've both decided to stay for the children, and a lot of people do that. A lot of people have arrangements.

She asked for no judgements, but everyone sees cheating as a very black and white thing. "You're gross," "go home," or "leave."

Nothing in a relationship is ever black and white.

I left a 15 yr marriage with the father of my children, the person I had dreamed would grow old with me. You know what's harder than leaving a long term relationship? Being shackled to one when there is abuse, hate, cheating...and you slowly die inside, you slowly hate every moment of shared time and space with the person you planned to have a life with, and you slowly lose all love, respect or ounce of good feelings for that person until you realize you loath and hate that person to your very core. Worse, you see your son's only ever knowing their dad abusing their mother, and they hate the fighting, but you wonder if this is how they will grow up expecting normal relationships to be, growing up to think that it's ok to treat women badly, and growing up to despise their parents. That's what is worse than leaving a long term relationship.

click to expand

i'm glad you left your ex, Moon, there are so many marriages/relationships where the couple fight and are abusive to eachother, it's so toxic, and especially worse when you have children witnessing that.

i know and have read plenty of times where people STAY in the marriage for the sake of the children (whuuu??) and for the sake of the family, and even i've read where the sisters and brothers and children get upset to the parent for leaving. I would think to be happier for the mother who leaves the toxic and abusive husband and be free and happy and alone. even if it means being alone. but at least you will have peace and harmony for your soul.

(it's funny i was just mentioning about this, when me and my mother in law were discussing it the other night)

I'm glad I left, too, Lisa. It wasn't something I did lightly. For my sanity, and the kids' sake, it had to be done.

Posted by caster721

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by busyeyes88
to be honest, I find cancer women to be one of the biggest cheaters...

No! It will not work out and it is not based on sun signs!! Anything born out of lies and deceit will fail. If you both ever get together you will both be consciously aware that you are capable of doing to each other what you both did to your partners.. Disgusting!

More than likely those Cancer women are mirroring the cheating partners in their life.
I can't speak for all Cancer women and I'm sure it varies but;
at the core of Cancer women is devotion.
We want and must devote ourselves to someone.
If we can't give that total devotion; devotion that is appreciated and reciprocated;
then we are not happy in that relationship.

If our man is running around cheating, lying, abusing and forgetting about us then we can't totally devote ourselves.

Cancer women are extremely faithful.
Once someone breaks the bond by showing abuse, disloyalty or unfaithfulness we wander off disillusioned and heartbroken.

Some of us won't cheat even under the above circumstances but you shouldn't really expect that from anyone..
Not that I am making excuses for these women.
Because they are pretty much creating more problems for themselves.
That's not who we want to be.

We want to belong to someone and give them total devotion.
If we can't then you shouldn't expect it.

This^^^

click to expand

Is it the same for Cancer men?
Or a bit different?

Not true about all cancer men. I know one who has always been a cheat, and has quite a few marriages behind him because of it.