cancerian woman - cheating

Tell her good bye, even if you want to remain friends there is going to be conflict and strong feeling of allsorts in the future.

I'm virgo -

i did make it clear to her that i dotn want to be friends with her ..

I even erased all her emails/texts/ got rid of anything associated with her...

She's like you cant just erase me from your life like I didn't exist??

She sounds like she cant accept certain things but at the same time she cant make her mind up about things, you sound like a stable and very reasonable person to be in contact with universe1, this person sounds like they would continue to act unfairly with you.

I know - I'm a bit peeved that I wasted my time with her - i told her that - I said 'I regret ever meeting you'.

but the thing that gets to me most is that she tried to make out that it was all my fault, I'm a sraightforward person - i dont believe in cheating, if I wanted lots of women, why have a relationship?

I said 'you should have told me before u went - I would have been fine with it - at least u respected me enough to be honest - that way we could have been friends!

this cancerian.....i even suggested that she be my bit on the side whenever I wanted - she agreed!! she asked - 'so u gonna cheat on ur new girl?' I said no - I'm not looking for commitment now, and if i have a new relationship it will be an open relationship***** this was when I had originally found out about her cheating on me**** since I have another girl - Who I am loyal to.

She also said that noramlly she is the one in control in her relationships - but with me she has no control, and that scares her - and that I can get right to her inner shell - and that she fears too...

**Maybe it's me - but I always thought that if u like someone, you are willing to understand them**


She also said that she has tarvelled the world and met thousands of people and never met anyone like me. I know all about lines - players, In all honesty I knew she was gonna do it - i know her! not that she is like that in general - but her situation was such!

Universe1 welcome to t he boards.

Your situation with your cancer is not really complicated. both of you are hurt here. You because she cheated on you and she because she is has the kind of rapport and chemistry with you which she may not have had with any one before... and now she stands to loose you.

I find it difficult to believe that she agreed to be your bit on the side. No cancer woman likes that..They love to be the number one and are territorial. If she has agreed - take it from me she knows that you love her truly and formed another relationship out of hurt(thats what i understood over here).

Now this is wrong. Waht you are doing is actually punishing her. You eihter accept her with love and respect in your heart for her or jsut firmly say goodbye..no matter what drama she creates. The point here i s both you have not got each other out of your respective systems. And if you actually treat her as your bit on side...she will be gone. and will hate you for it. So why not make a clean cut. after the initial drama..the cancer will appreciate it. and you are a virgo. it is true that cancers feel they have no control over themselves with a virgo. so feel safe. she wont harbour any ill feelings for you for long.The cancer genuinely respects the virgo qualities and will do so n omatter what.

My suggestion si treat her with more respect. She is jsut finding it difficult to deal with htis mess. And hasnt she agreed that it is her own doing? to me this shows how close she is to you. The drama si jsut reflection of her anger on herself than towards you.

I don't think she is a player. Liek you said "In all honesty I knew she was gonna do it - i know her! not that she is like that in general - but her situation was such"! She didnot plan cheating on you. maybe her curiosity for that australian got the bettr of her. Now the situation seems to be ripe and so is the hurt felt. Let the wounds dry up, truth will manifest itself. Gradually.

Thanks for the welcome Looneybird,

appreciate everyones comments.

Your comments recieved looneybird - I know she regrets all that she has done.I know she hasn't said it herself, but hey - she's a cancerian!!!

I don't believe that I'm punishing her...

She still means alot to me - otherwise I wouldn't be contemplating a friendship with her. I know my mind, and I'm very self protecting much like u crabs...I wouldn't stand for such behaviour - with her it's more than physical - it's spiritual. I couldn't be angry at her - she's a good one! We don't need words - it's just this connection.

I knew she wouldn't be able to see me with another - I told her that - just like it feels wrong for me to see her with another. But she was desperate to maintain our connection - so I agreed friendship as I could see her hurting.

I know if we part it would kill her inside ... I know if I stay it will kill me inside...not knowing her feels wrong - even though all this happened, I dont want her to hurt - spiritually speaking she's a bird and free to be who she needs to be - I can't clip her wings - her energy still felt soothing to my soul even after she told me - which I do respect - how many people would tell you something like that?

universal love,

Hi Universe

(Relationship Rule: If you want to stay in a relationship never never never confess "cheating" LOL
because nobody can stand infidelity. And if you have to confess, then better be prepared to break away. )

LOL pardon me coudln't help making this naughty but a factual statement.

You are a very considerate friend, universe1. Liek i mentioned in the earlier post, the cancers do treasure virgo qualities. Good to hear abotu the spiritual connection that you both feel with each other. If you donot want ot get back to being intimate with her again then be firm abotu the friendship only thing. Liek i said she will suffer a lot to begin with. Cancers do appreciate honesty no matter how deeply hurt they get and the drama they may create initially. It is when soembody plays dirty with them, htey develop bitterness. So if you are invovled with this new girl and want to stay involved, you will have to draw a line between you & the cancer girl. Otherwise it will eventually be a mess for all 3 of you involved.

Just talk wiht her. Rest assured she understnds what really should be done. And if you are takign the steps to move away from her, she understnds that too. She is jsut expressign all the disapointment as she is loosing you. But you have to ultimately cater for hte numbe one..yourself..dont you?

Yea but I'm glad she told me - she could have lied...and acted like nothing had happened...but she didnt - it would have been a lot less complicated for her if she lied - but she didnt want to lie to me.

yea i know alot of people will think that she has been silly by confessing - and LOL about it.

(Relationship Rule: If you want to stay in a relationship never never never confess "cheating" LOL
because nobody can stand infidelity. And if you have to confess, then better be prepared to break away. )

But any relationship built on lies is not a relationship - in my opinion! I know that she doesn't want to break away and she is faced with this situation - probably not how she expected it to be - come what may...

Universe1

When we lose anything that we cherish, the sense of emptiness we are left behind with can be overwhelming. A space that was filled, whether in our lives or our hearts, is now a void, and the feelings of pain, loss, and separation can sometimes be difficult to bear.

While it is always important to honour what we've lost, sometimes a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning. Perhaps that?s why she wanted to get start all over again with you (after her mistake and not because of her clinginess).

We all doing mistake(s) and not all of us being aware of it, (forgiving and forgiveness) are part of a brave/mature soul with high spirit especially in relationship, If I am correct.. you two are not in a very serious relationship and commitments.

In my humble opinion, admittance to mistake is act of bravery and courage as long as you both recognise and honour it with respect, as you?ve described her above she can?t be a silly girl or you (as a Virgo) wouldn?t chose her in the first place.

So how about some second chance then?

Whish you good luck and Welcome aboard mate..!

(forgiving and forgiveness).....

?forgetting and forgiveness? I meant.. sorry..

Thank-you Qbone for your comments, very spirtually minded - great to get a perspective from one who understands the 'one' - read some of ur other posts.

Cancerbuddy - Appreciate your openess - I'm sorry for your pain...

Suppose this is the age old trial of 'love' or 'ego' - that which blinds(ego)us and that which binds (love) us!

I'm inclined to believe that love is the knower of all hearts - essentially we are one. However I read a comment by Looneybird which says it close enough to how I believe 'The Best Feelings Are Those That Have No Words to Describe Them. To Love is to Receive a Glimpse of Heaven.'

Divine/heaven - thats how I understand it.

Your right Qbone this is/was a new relationship - that's what makes it even more significant - the fact it being so new and still i'm having to think twice about it. In retrospect having relationships which have been considerably longer never had this affect. but I know why that is. the light that brought us together will if it's intended prove it's worth or not.

The way I feel thus far - Is a mixture of hapiness/confusion. Pain for the limitations of my soul...

Like i said earleir universe let the wounds dry up and truth will manifest itself. infact true love is the one that can pass thru toughest of the time and still be there.

The cancer girls honesty to you is very touching. she is at a very high comfort level with yuo for having confessed this at cost of losing you.I myself never hide even my infatuatiosn to my love. He is fine with it. But then it is tough to accept infidelity. So when was life so easy?

Your virgo mind has already analysed your connection wiht your cancer woman. You defintiely cherish it. So now let your heart show you the way. Head afterall functiosn at an optimum level for a limited time ....in every given 24 hrs ... But the heart beats rythmically..continuosly unless you are breathign your last.

it's upsetting to know she(a cancerian) cheated on you.....maybe she was not sure enough about you and ready for a commitment,,,the first time...

but why the hell you bother about her when you know she cheated on you.....
you should ignore her....never trust a cheater...my opinion!

sangicrab