Cancers are cold?

How long do cancers take to give you their hearts?

So I met this cancer guy, he is born on June 30. I am a gemini and I am very impulsive. He started showing signs of liking me but I wasnt sure, neither was i sure about how I felt about him. So we had sex almost from the beginning because i was just going with my wild emotions. And then i made it seem like that was all it was. But he kept coming back and pretty soon I started to realise that we connected more than just on a physical level. We connected mentally, intellectually and we have the same likes. It was easy to be around him. Added to that fact was the fact that he was showing real signs of liking me. Being affectionate, being the one to contact me, initiating contact several times for the day everyday. Then it evolved into him staying at my place some nights to us cooking and eating together, watching movies and just hanging out like friends. he was never aggressive with the sex.. we got so connected that we wanted to spend almost every minute together. but we also talked about relationships. his last gf was possessive from what i gather and he didnt want to feel suffocated. so from the beginning he expressed his dislike about "official titles" and "rules". i'm not sure if it's the gemini in me, but i also expressed the fact that i liked my freedom, and that i didnt like "rules" either. so we just enjoyed each other. but i met his whole family because i would go to his house for lunch, dinner and in these recent weeks, i've been staying and his house on the weekends. so then his mom invited me to a baby shower with his whole family, and he introduced me as a friend. then his grandmother introduced me as his gf. and he joked with me saying my grandma thinks u're my gf. so i joked with him saying well, with the way we've been with each other i consider you to be my boyfriend. and he said he considered me to be his gf too. but he continued introducing me as "a friend". which i had no problem with because i just wanted to keep everything low key. so we basically spend almost every waking hour in contact with each other. but what i've noticed is that although we are soo "close" and we are inseparable almost, he seems to be very "closed". like he has that hard protective shell around his heart. he is very affectionate, very caring, gentlemanly, very kind, but still i feel like it's because its innate and not because it's because he feels something deep for me. sort of like he is cold.

and i thought i was the cold one. so i think that this guy is very into me, and he tells me all the time that he likes me alot. but how long do they take to really open up and give you their hearts?

Sounds like he is getting the relationship without having to claim you as such. So therefore when family members ask what happened with that Gem lady, later he can just say you two were just friends. When clearly you are beyond friends. Doesn't sound like he is ready to claim nor commit to you, yet he has you.

I don't think he is cold, he's trying to protect himself yet fulfil his needs. However his needs do not trump your needs. What do YOU want?

How long have you been dating?

Thanks for your response Lunarmaiden. Well isn't a relationship one in which two people come together because they like being together? I mean the reason i went with the flow is because him asking me to be official is irrelevant if we've talked about not seeing other people and we spend incredible amounts of time together.. he does everything i think a bf should, cooks for me, we have dinner together, we sleep together, that is just sleep, we watch movies together, joke with each other, go on trips together, spend weekends together, keep in contact like everyday, talk about everything. the thing is, i have to leave his country in 2 weeks, although i may have the possibility of staying more time but as of now, i'll be leaving in 2 weeks. but still with cancer, it's like the barrier thing is still there. am i being unreasonable to expect that at least he should be feeling deeper for me? we have been dating almost 3 months.

You leave in two weeks and will be gone how long?

3 months is not a long time IMO. However it's still enough time to know how you feel about someone given all the things you do and have allowed to be done. If you are still confused as to where you stand with him even with all that playing partnership then you need to have a talk with him. Why are you waiting for him to say you are his girlfriend? You can tell him, you are going to claim him as your boyfriend and if he has a problem with that he can move on or you two can slow down! There no pressure or need for him to feel "suffocated." 🙂

Aurora, what do you mean the fact that i will be leaving makes him feel free? yes i will be in another country on the other side of the world.

It means he may be hesitant because you are leaving soon.

He's actually been pushing me to stay, asking me to stay over and over again. it actually is very possible to stay here, but i wont know for sure until next week or in 2 weeks. but we've been talking about it and he's been trying to convince me. i mean i want to stay but i also have to weigh the pros and cons about the situation, and it seems as if i would be the one making such a big decision. so he's been living in the clouds acting as though i have already gotten the job and that i've already made the decision to stay. i suppose the instability is one factor of him not opening up, but also i feel like if for some reason i end up not staying, that it will be the "end" of our relationship. yesterday he asked me where i see myself in 5 yrs and i told him then i asked the same and he told me. but he also said that he will definitely be seeing me again in the future.