Confusing older cancer man

Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
Hello guys and girls! I’m an aries girl with rising sun in piesces and venus in gemini. A year and 3 months ago I started a relationship with this awesome cancer guy(born on 22 June) which is 38 years old, has rising sun in libra and venus in cancer. He is a singer and that’s why he’s pretty busy but this doesn’t bother me anyway because when we see each other we stay togheter a couple of days. The problem is that I am more younger than him. The beggining of our story started on Facebook where he started to poke me and message me pretty things. I was flattered that a important guy from here is interested in me and I reply to him everytime. He was interested about me and started to know each other. After a month he asked my out and I refused because of the years gap between us. After a week he tried again and I accept. We went out and eat ice cream. He picked me from home and get me back home after(like always). He was super attractive but pretty quiet at the start. I was honest and a little bit childish. When we started kissing we haven’t stopped for 2 hours. When we talked on facebook I noticed that he was very sexually attracted to me but when we were face2face he was pretty shy and we haven’t talked about sex. After that date I started to have a big crush on him, we started to talk everyday and we enjoyed the sharing of energies. Soon in that summer we started to get intimate. We never had sex(penetration) because I'm a virgin and I can't dissapoint my mom. I told him how important is for me to remain virgin and he respect my decision and all of this relationship we just had prelude. Some of people I know will name this relationship "friends with benefits" but actually he isn't getting sex from me. At the beginning of relationship he started to endearment me (baby, honey) so I used the same words to him. He wears a protective shell. He often appears aloof but I feel that inside he is softy and have a big heart . It’s pretty hard for me to understand a cancer guy which is older than me. An old cancer man is more confusing than every man on this planet. Every trait of a cancer man can have a hundred of interpretations(you know what I mean). After 4 months I asked him if our relationship is just for sex or for his enterteinment and he told me that if he wanted sex from me he would stopped every contact after one night. He also told me a couples of time to not rush things.
He was deeply hurt and he gave me the silent treatment when I told
Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
-> He was deeply hurt and he gave me the silent treatment when I told him:”I’m just a joke for you. You are making fun of me. You deserve nothing from me.” But after some time he started again to text me and ask me out. He present me to his friends lately, maybe he wanted to be sure that he can trust me before meeting his friends. His style of talking depends on his moods, sometimes he is harsh or quiet and sometimes he is so sweet. I was thinking that maybe he is afraid to love me or to show me that because I am more younger and I can change my mind about him after dealing with the truth. Well I won’t because I love this guy and I’ll respect his slow process to deal with relationships. I should start assuring him I love him and I care? I’ve never done that, I prefer actions than words.
So I don't understand why after a year and 3 months this cancer man is still in this story with me. Girls, boys and especially cancer men please be free to express yourself. Kisses and hugs
Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
Now i will tell everybody some of cancer traitsi noticed after this long time spending with him:

I am trying to discover his feelings for me being very very attentive at his actions. Another traits that make me think he likes me is his jealousy: I told him some time ago "you know that guy? he messaged me on facebook telling me i'm very very beautiful" and he said "He tell that to every girl around him, i know that". And when we were out with his friends one of his friends told me that i look like a chinese and he loves china's culture. He was looking a little suspicious.

He is a true HOMEBODY. We spent every date(expect the first) at his house. Cooking for eachother(now i cook and he prepare the meal), make shower toghether, washing our hair, watching tv or movies, making love(without penetration), and sleeping toghether. That's our dates in a year. After a year of ralationship we had the first date at a restaurant where I meet his friends for the first time and I was shocked, I though our relationship will remain secret for ever because he is a public person but it's not. he really surprised me that time.

We see each other like once at two weeks but maybe that's because in cancer's mind: Less is more, so let there be lots of space and time for him to miss you again.

Being an aries is really hard for me to discover something that me and my cancer have in common: the only thing is making funny jokes(cancer men love girls with humor). A cancer man really can make an aries girl to slow down. I became more patient, more cautios, more quiet because of him. Now I can control my agressiveness which was the couse of his silent treatment.
We don't talk too much through messages or phone, he's very busy but I noticed something really weird at this cancer man (and this can be valid for every cancer) He always texts me when it's full moon and it's very very enthusiastic, excited, tender. I know cancer sign is ruled by moon and their moods depends of the lunar phases. I don't know if this matches every cancer but my cancer gets really sweet(even in expressing verbal his feelings) when the moon is in growth or full than on the other lunar phases (like moon in decreasing) when his more aloof and don't express verbal his feelings.
Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
Posted by M143
christina,

Is he still giving you a silent treatment? if so, apologise for what you did. initiate contact and tell him you were sorry. comfort your man.
M143,

He gaved me the silent treatment 2 months. I apologise a few times at the start but he doesn't answer. The best thing is to leave him alone until he'll feel safe again to look for you. When he comes back he was the same like nothing happened. Cancer process more slowly than everybody and that's why months are like days for a cancer. They need time alone to deal with their feelings.
Also that's why he likes to move toward love in an indirect way, slowly -- like a Crab.
Profile picture of M143
M143
@M143
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 2497 · Topics: 2
Posted by christina1
Posted by M143
christina,

Is he still giving you a silent treatment? if so, apologise for what you did. initiate contact and tell him you were sorry. comfort your man.
click to expand

M143,

He gaved me the silent treatment 2 months. I apologise a few times at the start but he doesn't answer. The best thing is to leave him alone until he'll feel safe again to look for you. When he comes back he was the same like nothing happened. Cancer process more slowly than everybody and that's why months are like days for a cancer. They need time alone to deal with their feelings.
Also that's why he likes to move toward love in an indirect way, slowly -- like a Crab.

2 months.. Oh gosh you have more patience. I cannot tolerate that. I maybe move on and cannot go back again.
But I am glad you did it. You know him very well I guess so that would be easy for you to deal with if it happens again.
Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
Thank you all for replies.

I still have a doubt: Last days when I was at his house I found some menstrual pads in a box in the bathroom. He lives alone in the house, his parents are in other city, he doesn't have sisters so I have no fucking ideea how they appears there. I felt like I am not the only girl which comes to his house and have intimate things with him and I started to be really nervous and I asked him "What the fuck is that? From who are these?" And I asked him a few times from who the fuck are these and started to offend the alleged girl and he told me a few times he has no ideea how they appears there. After some minutes of being angry I told him "You could blame your granddaughter (I know he has a granddoughter) if you wanted to shut up my mouth but you don't even care to find a great excuse for that" And he told me to not stress myself for a silly thing and laugh at me while I was very angry.

If i am just a booty call for him like every alleged girl which could enter his house. His house it's really his private space, he has there a lot of things that describes him perfectly like books, pantings, icons, sanctuary, his pets and a lot of mess. He allowed me into his private space but if that is a common thing for him. He has a lot of fangirls and I'm afraid he hides something. He also doesn't gaved me the secret code to unlock his phone.

If I am just for entertainment for him? 😢
Profile picture of christina1
christina1
@christina1
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 2
Posted by Finbuff
Yes now the concern his highly warranted. Why he would do that to you is beyond me but cancers can be players. I know I was. You busted him with the fem products so not sure where you go from here because his lack of excuse is problematic. I would probably just walk away for a long time and wait for him to tell you are the only one. Might never happen with this guy.
I hate that player part. Why does he is still with me if he is a player? A player purpose is to not invest feelings.
Profile picture of M143
M143
@M143
12 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 2 · Posts: 2497 · Topics: 2
Posted by christina1
Posted by Finbuff
Yes now the concern his highly warranted. Why he would do that to you is beyond me but cancers can be players. I know I was. You busted him with the fem products so not sure where you go from here because his lack of excuse is problematic. I would probably just walk away for a long time and wait for him to tell you are the only one. Might never happen with this guy.
I hate that player part. Why does he is still with me if he is a player? A player purpose is to not invest feelings.
click to expand

That is what player do. He is a player. Don't feel bad He is not deeply hurt. He is using it against you by playing a victim. Don't stressed out yourself.

Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
This is a clear case of a 38 year old player trying to get with young girls.

A 38 year old non virgin male having a relationship with a virgin young girl. Just LOL. What? He can't get women around his age/maturity level? He's just a basic player who goes after young girls as they are naive enough to con. He's single, lives on his own, menstrual pads are found in his bathroom which are most likely not his sister's, receives phone calls which he doesn't answer in front of you . lol.

He's not a virgin and in his 38 years he must have had sex quite a bit, so why is he okay with a virgin girl and a young one at that? Because he's getting his fix elsewhere as well.
Profile picture of crabbycrab76
crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by aquarius09
This is a clear case of a 38 year old player trying to get with young girls.

A 38 year old non virgin male having a relationship with a virgin young girl. Just LOL. What? He can't get women around his age/maturity level? He's just a basic player who goes after young girls as they are naive enough to con. He's single, lives on his own, menstrual pads are found in his bathroom which are most likely not his sister's, receives phone calls which he doesn't answer in front of you . lol.

He's not a virgin and in his 38 years he must have had sex quite a bit, so why is he okay with a virgin girl and a young one at that? Because he's getting his fix elsewhere as well.
Maybe she like her men older
At 25/26, I would classify her as a young woman, not a young girl - there is a big difference. Maybe he likes them young, she apparently likes them older - so I don't judge that. Her family doesn't seem to be raising hell about it from what I can tell, so *shrugs*. Age doesn't keep people from taking advantage of others - young or older. jmo. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with the maturity difference - but that's me.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by crabbycrab76
Posted by aquarius09
This is a clear case of a 38 year old player trying to get with young girls.

A 38 year old non virgin male having a relationship with a virgin young girl. Just LOL. What? He can't get women around his age/maturity level? He's just a basic player who goes after young girls as they are naive enough to con. He's single, lives on his own, menstrual pads are found in his bathroom which are most likely not his sister's, receives phone calls which he doesn't answer in front of you . lol.

He's not a virgin and in his 38 years he must have had sex quite a bit, so why is he okay with a virgin girl and a young one at that? Because he's getting his fix elsewhere as well.
Maybe she like her men older
At 25/26, I would classify her as a young woman, not a young girl - there is a big difference. Maybe he likes them young, she apparently likes them older - so I don't judge that. Her family doesn't seem to be raising hell about it from what I can tell, so *shrugs*. Age doesn't keep people from taking advantage of others - young or older. jmo. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with the maturity difference - but that's me.
click to expand

She's definitely pretty young in comparison to him. I get the whole age is just a number thing but there are other things going on here. LOL. Her age is a factor here given her experience in life in comparison to his. It's easier to con a less experienced person than an experienced person. I'm naive in certain things as well and can someone who has experience in those things take advantage of me? Absolutely. It's the naivete that's coming in play here.
Profile picture of crabbycrab76
crabbycrab76
@crabbycrab76
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 657 · Topics: 13
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by crabbycrab76
Posted by aquarius09
This is a clear case of a 38 year old player trying to get with young girls.

A 38 year old non virgin male having a relationship with a virgin young girl. Just LOL. What? He can't get women around his age/maturity level? He's just a basic player who goes after young girls as they are naive enough to con. He's single, lives on his own, menstrual pads are found in his bathroom which are most likely not his sister's, receives phone calls which he doesn't answer in front of you . lol.

He's not a virgin and in his 38 years he must have had sex quite a bit, so why is he okay with a virgin girl and a young one at that? Because he's getting his fix elsewhere as well.
Maybe she like her men older
At 25/26, I would classify her as a young woman, not a young girl - there is a big difference. Maybe he likes them young, she apparently likes them older - so I don't judge that. Her family doesn't seem to be raising hell about it from what I can tell, so *shrugs*. Age doesn't keep people from taking advantage of others - young or older. jmo. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with the maturity difference - but that's me.
She's definitely pretty young in comparison to him. I get the whole age is just a number thing but there are other things going on here. LOL. Her age is a factor here given her experience in life in comparison to his. It's easier to con a less experienced person than an experienced person. I'm naive in certain things as well and can someone who has experience in those things take advantage of me? Absolutely. It's the naivete that's coming in play here.
click to expand

Yeah. But she's not *that* naive - she knows there is someone else in play and knows enough to raise hell about it, she knows about being a booty call, so I'm not sensing too much naivety/innocence in her threads. And some young adults are not as naive as we may think. Some are pretty damn good at using people too. Just saying. That why I said to her not to be stupid due to his experience advantage. But if she wants to play with older adults, she's gonna get older adult hurts, scrapes and burns.

Maybe SHE shou
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by crabbycrab76
cont'
Maybe SHE should seek someone her own age. Although, those her own age could be pulling the same tricks and be players too. So, idk.
I see what you're saying and I do agree, but this guy reminds me of when university guys date high school girls. The high school chick feels entitiled and blessed for having an older bf who is cool by default while the university guy was usually a cheap player who wanted an easy lay. He would've had to work harder for someone his age than someone younger. My ex's douchebag friends used to do that and laugh about it as if it was such a noble and hard thing to do. Disgusting.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Oh, when you said "maybe he likes them younger" it reminded of of this guy I went on a date with last week. I was telling him on skype prior to meeting up with him that I'm a petite woman and have a girl's body in case he's wanting more of a womanly body if you get what I mean. And he rolls his eyes and says, "Honey, the younger, the better" LMAO. Every time I see a guy going after a woman significantly younger than him or cheating on his wife with one, I can't help but think "the younger the better". LOL.
Profile picture of aquarius09
Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by Arielle83
I dated a few older dudes when I was younger. It was clear they sought out younger women for their need to have control of the relationship. They were all dominating personalities. And very passive aggressive. I don't think a woman their age would stand them, but I was naive and thought they gave a shit. Noooo
Precisely my point too. I wanted to and dated older men because I was looking for maturity and all I found was domineering personalities. They tried to control me and they got their kicks of my inexperience. Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize women their age wouldn't stand their bullshit, so they went for younger women.