Control Freaks

HOW DO I STOP BEING ONE? i would very much like to know...
I wanna control everything, i TRY to control everything esp people's feelings towards me. Bad I know but sometimes I have so much fun with it esp when i get the outcome i was hoping for. I often do this with my mom coz she's a cancer and we're so like i know how a certain thing would make her react. and other people too, like sometimes i'll hold a comment that i know someone needs to hear desperately. sometimes I just say what i know needs to be sad and watch happiness falls over their face and then i feel so awesome about myself. Its exhausting thou and i would like to stop and be chilled and let chips fall where they may. Mostly i wanna stop because being a good, uncontrolling person feels NICE. So HELP, please!

Where is your Mars? Also, I think that it is a form of manipulation that Cancers do....But anyway, just live and let live 🙂

Posted by Easha23000us
Where is your Mars? Also, I think that it is a form of manipulation that Cancers do....But anyway, just live and let live 🙂

Mars Taurus 8th House

That does sound more like a Capricorn or Libran trait than anything else. I'd look deeper in the chart.

Posted by MarsGodess
HOW DO I STOP BEING ONE? i would very much like to know...
I wanna control everything, i TRY to control everything esp people's feelings towards me. Bad I know but sometimes I have so much fun with it esp when i get the outcome i was hoping for. I often do this with my mom coz she's a cancer and we're so like i know how a certain thing would make her react. and other people too, like sometimes i'll hold a comment that i know someone needs to hear desperately. sometimes I just say what i know needs to be sad and watch happiness falls over their face and then i feel so awesome about myself. Its exhausting thou and i would like to stop and be chilled and let chips fall where they may. Mostly i wanna stop because being a good, uncontrolling person feels NICE. So HELP, please!

Cancer sun, Sag moon problems.

The positive aspect is that you are aware. I was this way many moons ago. But I overheard my Libra brother, whom I love dearly, call me an asshole. This hurt me deeply and it changed me. I had no idea I came off that way and how it affected people.

I started pacing myself. Being more mindful of what I said. Some things don't need to be said.

First order of business is learning humility. Apologize when u know you hurt someone. Start behaving more loving toward people.

The controlling thing isn't a Cancerian trait per say, it is a cardinal trait. Aries, Libra, and Capricorn are just as known for their controlling behaviour. They are the proactive leaders, initiators, and field movers of the zodiac. Skills in manipulation aid them in their pursuits.

Now if you feel you are too controlling, and want to take a step back, and let things happen on their own, it will eventually lead to disappointment, because if something not so pleasant happens, and you feel responsible due to inaction, it can be pretty brutal.

You have to love the challenges our sun sign gives us. They are NO joke.

You have to be less insecure, more mature, and have a live and let live mentality. Needing to control how people behave so that you get satisfaction shows that you're insecure inside, that you care too much what others think about you, but that might partly be because of your Taurus bits. I've found earth signs care more about what others think of them than anyone else.

Also, true love for someone is when you do/say things that will make them happy, not because it makes you feel good about yourself, but because you WANT them to be happy, that you need them to be happy.

I have the innate ability to know what people want, to know their strengths and weaknesses, and the only time I truly use that to my advantage is when someone has hurt/betrayed me, then I'll go for the jugular. It's a weapon, of sorts. Otherwise I use it to make those I love happy, to surprise them, not because it makes me feel good, but because it makes THEM feel good. I do love spoiling my loved ones.

Posted by MoonArtist
You have to be less insecure, more mature, and have a live and let live mentality. Needing to control how people behave so that you get satisfaction shows that you're insecure inside, that you care too much what others think about you, but that might partly be because of your Taurus bits. I've found earth signs care more about what others think of them than anyone else.

Also, true love for someone is when you do/say things that will make them happy, not because it makes you feel good about yourself, but because you WANT them to be happy, that you need them to be happy.

I have the innate ability to know what people want, to know their strengths and weaknesses, and the only time I truly use that to my advantage is when someone has hurt/betrayed me, then I'll go for the jugular. It's a weapon, of sorts. Otherwise I use it to make those I love happy, to surprise them, not because it makes me feel good, but because it makes THEM feel good. I do love spoiling my loved ones.

But do you not find that making others happy makes you happy as well?

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by MoonArtist
You have to be less insecure, more mature, and have a live and let live mentality. Needing to control how people behave so that you get satisfaction shows that you're insecure inside, that you care too much what others think about you, but that might partly be because of your Taurus bits. I've found earth signs care more about what others think of them than anyone else.

Also, true love for someone is when you do/say things that will make them happy, not because it makes you feel good about yourself, but because you WANT them to be happy, that you need them to be happy.

I have the innate ability to know what people want, to know their strengths and weaknesses, and the only time I truly use that to my advantage is when someone has hurt/betrayed me, then I'll go for the jugular. It's a weapon, of sorts. Otherwise I use it to make those I love happy, to surprise them, not because it makes me feel good, but because it makes THEM feel good. I do love spoiling my loved ones.

But do you not find that making others happy makes you happy as well?

click to expand

Yes, but I don't try to make or not make people happy for my own benefit. I don't do it to try to make others like me more. I don't withhold affection or the affirmations people might want/need just to use them to my advantage at certain times, which is what the OP said she does.

How can you stop being one? Youre not a Virgo so youre already ahead of the game haha