Does He Mean It?

Would a Cancer tell you he loves you if he doesn't mean it? I've heard about the Cancer cling - but I'm not sure I feel it... I mean, this Cancer guy I've been seeing for about 3 months wants me over at his place like every night, and he cooks dinner for me and everything, but he doesn't send cutesy e-mails or txt msgs or anything like that... and the only time he's super cuddly and overly emotional with his words is after sex and in the morning when he first wakes up.

Is this weird? He's a pretty msculine guy though...

He broke up with his ex of six years two years ago to move to my city for a job. The other girl has moved on, but I can tell he hasn't yet. He finally told me what the girl's name was and showed me photos of her on Facebook. I asked him if he still loved her and his reply was "well, she'll always be my baby." Since then he's had two flings in this city that have each lasted 6 months - one with an Aries who bullied him until he couldn't take it anymore, and one with a Taurus who was more of a sexbuddy than anything else (he told me several times he told her they weren't dating). He still calls them though (esp. when he's drunk) just to "say hi." Why would he do that? He's a bit of a goofball and I think he might like annoying them...

His best friend told me she hasn't seen him this happy in years, and we're making plans to go on a vacation in Feb.

Anyone want to take a stab at figuring all this out for me?

I'm a Pisces btw, and I don't think I've ever fallen so hard for someone before...

Whoa a 6 relationship!!! I'm not sure if's he truly over her as of yet. I think you guys should be friends for awhile because he may think you as his rebound girl and not an actually potentially girlfriend, as far as him saying "i love you" in 3 months doesn't sound quite right...most cancer's male and female can be more goofball than other signs but as i said before just remind as friends until he's completely over. A 6 year relationship is VERY long and it takes quite some time to get over a long period relationship like that.

ooooh! I'd kill him if he answered me like that. "She'll always be my baby." lol. grrrrrr. Sorry but i really dont know what to do with thisss. Im only 15 so of course i wouldnt know but i can take a guess. I would prolly be patient with him and like the dream said be more like a friend than any thing else. Recently i did that with my cancer. He made me superr jealous (cuz i gotta lil crush on him and he knows it) and all i did was joke with him 'bout it. Now conversation with him is less uncomfortable and he's growing less weary of me. Im just waitin for the oppurtune time to strike. ha ha ha.

btw. ha ha, what is it with cancers and mariah carey songs—

Posted by spiteful1102
ooooh! I'd kill him if he answered me like that. "She'll always be my baby." lol. grrrrrr. Sorry but i really dont know what to do with thisss. Im only 15 so of course i wouldnt know but i can take a guess. I would prolly be patient with him and like the dream said be more like a friend than any thing else. Recently i did that with my cancer. He made me superr jealous (cuz i gotta lil crush on him and he knows it) and all i did was joke with him 'bout it. Now conversation with him is less uncomfortable and he's growing less weary of me. Im just waitin for the oppurtune time to strike. ha ha ha.

btw. ha ha, what is it with cancers and mariah carey songs—

LOL @mariah carey songs

3 months doesn't sound unreasonable. I dropped the L-bomb after just over 1 month.

I don't think you are a rebound girl. The other 2 flings were probably rebounds. I'm not sure about your guy, but at least for me, when it comes to the person I care about, I don't say it if it's not true.

"I've heard about the Cancer cling - but I'm not sure I feel it... I mean, this Cancer guy I've been seeing for about 3 months wants me over at his place like every night, and he cooks dinner for me and everything," Um, you really can't see the cling here? Wants me over at his house every night should be your first clue. 🙂 He doesn't need the cutesy emails or txts to be clingy/affectionate. Cancers are very indirect. The fact that he wants to see you all the time and is cooking you meals should speak volumes about how he feels about you.

Regarding the mushiness after sex, Cancers generally put a lot of emotions into sex. For me, it's hard to have one without the other.

2 years sounds like enough time to get over a girl. I broke up with my ex of nearly 4 years and it took my 1 year to fully get over her. Even now I still love her, just not in that way. I care about her and want the best for her. She will always have a place in my heart, and will always be my first love. Do I want her back? Hell no. It was a huge mistake, but one that I am thankful for, it taught me many things. He probably feels the same way about his ex. Cancers hold on to the past for a very long time. We use it to ground ourselves and base future decisions off of past experiences and events.

The drunk-dials do worry me though. It shows he still thinks about them, at least when he is drunk. Does it bother you or upset you? If it does, I would talk to him about this and set firm boundaries. Let him know how you feel and that it upsets you.

Good luck!

Posted by domanb
3 months doesn't sound unreasonable. I dropped the L-bomb after just over 1 month.

I don't think you are a rebound girl. The other 2 flings were probably rebounds. I'm not sure about your guy, but at least for me, when it comes to the person I care about, I don't say it if it's not true.

"I've heard about the Cancer cling - but I'm not sure I feel it... I mean, this Cancer guy I've been seeing for about 3 months wants me over at his place like every night, and he cooks dinner for me and everything," Um, you really can't see the cling here? Wants me over at his house every night should be your first clue. 🙂 He doesn't need the cutesy emails or txts to be clingy/affectionate. Cancers are very indirect. The fact that he wants to see you all the time and is cooking you meals should speak volumes about how he feels about you.

Regarding the mushiness after sex, Cancers generally put a lot of emotions into sex. For me, it's hard to have one without the other.

2 years sounds like enough time to get over a girl. I broke up with my ex of nearly 4 years and it took my 1 year to fully get over her. Even now I still love her, just not in that way. I care about her and want the best for her. She will always have a place in my heart, and will always be my first love. Do I want her back? Hell no. It was a huge mistake, but one that I am thankful for, it taught me many things. He probably feels the same way about his ex. Cancers hold on to the past for a very long time. We use it to ground ourselves and base future decisions off of past experiences and events.

The drunk-dials do worry me though. It shows he still thinks about them, at least when he is drunk. Does it bother you or upset you? If it does, I would talk to him about this and set firm boundaries. Let him know how you feel and that it upsets you.

Good luck!

You must be new! Never seen you before. *waves*

Posted by cappysweetie

Posted by domanb
3 months doesn't sound unreasonable. I dropped the L-bomb after just over 1 month.

I don't think you are a rebound girl. The other 2 flings were probably rebounds. I'm not sure about your guy, but at least for me, when it comes to the person I care about, I don't say it if it's not true.

"I've heard about the Cancer cling - but I'm not sure I feel it... I mean, this Cancer guy I've been seeing for about 3 months wants me over at his place like every night, and he cooks dinner for me and everything," Um, you really can't see the cling here? Wants me over at his house every night should be your first clue. 🙂 He doesn't need the cutesy emails or txts to be clingy/affectionate. Cancers are very indirect. The fact that he wants to see you all the time and is cooking you meals should speak volumes about how he feels about you.

Regarding the mushiness after sex, Cancers generally put a lot of emotions into sex. For me, it's hard to have one without the other.

2 years sounds like enough time to get over a girl. I broke up with my ex of nearly 4 years and it took my 1 year to fully get over her. Even now I still love her, just not in that way. I care about her and want the best for her. She will always have a place in my heart, and will always be my first love. Do I want her back? Hell no. It was a huge mistake, but one that I am thankful for, it taught me many things. He probably feels the same way about his ex. Cancers hold on to the past for a very long time. We use it to ground ourselves and base future decisions off of past experiences and events.

The drunk-dials do worry me though. It shows he still thinks about them, at least when he is drunk. Does it bother you or upset you? If it does, I would talk to him about this and set firm boundaries. Let him know how you feel and that it upsets you.

Good luck!

You must be new! Never seen you before. *waves*

click to expand

No, he's been here for awhile but never interact in the forums as much. Cappysweetie you're late! LOL!

Ya, I've been here for a few months. I like trying to help people understand the complicated Cancers of the world.

*Waves back.

Awwww... thanks guys - these answers are fantastic. Esp. the one about how he is clingy, but I just didn't see it.

On Weds night he was MISTER mushy... he invited me out for dinner after he ran his 10K race, and then was so cuddly and affectionate after. I hadn't seen him like that in a long time. He kept calling me "his baby" and telling me how much he loved me and how he couldn't get enough of me. All I could think of was "Where was this last week!?!?"

Weird thing though - when I was hanging out with him last night his ex telephoned him to "say hello" and he took the call with me on the couch beside him! WTF? (I can't really be too jealous because I talk to my ex every now and then too). But he just sat there and made fun of the girl for about 20 minutes before telling her he had to go. Is that weird? I pretended not to be upset, but I still was sort of hurt. Should I read anything into that—

He was probably trying to show you that he wasn't hiding anything from you, so he felt comfortable talking in front of you. You should really talk to him about this though, as he probably doesn't realize how upset you are.