forgiving lies/deceit?

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mf90
@mf90
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 20 · Topics: 7
I've been pursuing the same person for almost a year now, except we never made anything official. That is, he never wanted to, and I did. Lots of different reasons, but primarily "commitment is something I take serious and I'm not ready for that". What ever you wanted to call it, we spent a lot of time together and did everything couples would do.

Recently, I discovered that I wasn't the only person he had been sleeping with, and somewhat of a big number. We had agreed that even though we aren't anything official, he would tell me if there was anyone else and I could walk away if i wanted to. Except, he always assured me there was nobody else, at all, so i stayed.

He claims to have stopped a few months ago because he began to want something serious, and was going to tell me about everything, but didn't want to risk losing me. After being confronted he was very compliant with any rules/demands I had, including wanting a commitment if I decided to stay. Seems like some sort of bait, but something has been different as of late, for the better.

How can I forgive him for lying to me the entire time? Or is this something that is unforgivable and I need to walk away? We were both very happy and had a special connection before any of this came into the open, and now I just feel really used and stupid. Nothing was claimed as "official" though, so my hands are tied with calling it cheating.
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ScorpioFish
@ScorpioFish
14 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 5 · Posts: 4180 · Topics: 103
Yo, if this dude was messing around with other women behind your back, you need to do the following:

1.) Stop calling, texting and communicating with him. Delete his Facebook, snapchat and whatever else you are online with him.

2.) Get yourself to the STD clinic and get tested. IMMEDIATELY.

3.) Chill with your girlfriends and get to know other positive people.

4.) Stay away from this guy. He is a time bomb waiting to go off.

Think about it like this. If you ignore my advice and stay with him, he may "eventually" get serious with you. But do you think a person like this would stay loyal in a marriage? What happens if you have to leave town for work for a week or two? Do you think that he would be good while you are away? Honestly?