here's my dilemma... with mr. cancer, of course

hey everyone, i've been lurking around these boards everyday reading stuff but haven't been posting much...but I'm always watching! lol, anyways, new developments with my cancer boy

quick back story- we met on a cruise, he added me on facebook, we live 3 hours away (he in Canada and myself in the US), I went to visit him 3 weeks ago, things went awesome, but he's really busy and rarely uses facebook, texting, or other methods of communication)

So, as a Virgo (Aries Ascendant) I over-analyze everything and assume that when someone doesn't contact me it's because they aren't interested. But thanks to this message board and you lovely people I've come to understand that the cancer male is a different breed who often retreat to their shell and don't need the constant contact that most of us require to keep feelings going.

To keep myself from going completely insane from waiting for him to contact me, because in the past, I'm usually the one who keeps the contact going since I'm impatient and it usually ends up burning me-I've been distracting myself by going on dates with other guys. I know that may sound counter-productive, and maybe like I'm using them, but I've made it clear I'm not looking for a relationship in them and just want to keep things casual. I also make sure there is NO WAY my Canadian cancer would ever know of it because I know how they hate competition. We aren't in a relationship, so it's not like I'm doing anything wrong, but still. It has helped.. make me feel less pathetic waiting around for Prince Charming so I've kissed a few frogs in the meantime.. He finally messaged me last week but I was away from the computer (really? I obsessively checked my computer and iPhone all week and of course, the TEN MINUTES I'm away from both of them, he finally reaches me..) anyways, I felt that was kind of good because it made me look like I had a life, and he had signed off by the time I got back to the computer. He had asked me if I got the job in Toronto (which just so happens to be very close to him). So I answered him back in a message and stressed that I knew he was really busy at work this month (when I visited him a few weeks ago he had told me that April is always super busy and he works 6 days a week all month). I told him that I'd be in Canada next weekend with some friends 2 hours from him and it would be really nice if he could stop by one of the nights so I could see him.
So

I didn't get a response from him all weekend and finally on Tuesday I was pretty much ready to just throw in the towel since he's clearly not interested.. so I texted him saying "Hey handsome, how's it going?" as kind of a last resort effort to contact him, he's not a big texter... and of course, no response to that either, so then I was REALLY ready to be done. Well of course, last night, as I'm getting ready to go to this other guy's house who was cooking me dinner (another distraction... I felt guilty the entire time because I felt obligated to makeout with him but I was thinking about mr. cancer the whole time..) of COURSE mr. cancer responds to my message right before I leave, apologizing for not replying but he's been super busy, and asking when I'll be in Canada and he'll "try to work something out". I just don't know what to do. It's driving me nuts always waiting for him to talk to me, but I know that if I initiate contact like I have in past flirtations with other guys I liked, it ALWAYS turns them off. I don't really know what the deal is, I don't want to be conceited but I'm an attractive girl, I'm intelligent, independent, NOT needy or suffocating at all... I just don't know why it never works out. I think it's because I always show too much interest. Everything I do, has to be done over the top. Whether it's making a music video, a project, a party, going out that night I have to dress up, just everything I do I put 200% effort in, so when I like someone.. it's kind of obvious. (I really think that I was meant to be a Leo, and according to the poles shifting I am supposed to be one apparently) But not in a like "oh my god I love you, I want to have your babies" kind of way, but enough for the guy to know I'm interested and maybe the chase is lost and that's why they leave? So with this one I am trying SO HARD to not be over the top.. and let mr. cancer come out of his shell when he wants, while I suffer in silence when he returns to his shell. UGH.

The problem is u live 3 hours away. I know they say crabs dance but when we are sure we put our all into.