How to tell Cancer that I need shell time?

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paries
@paries
14 Years

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Lately I've desperately been feeling that sometime soon I would like an entire weekend without my crab. I don't plan on going anywhere. I just want to spend the weekend home alone or maybe with family/friends. I just need a couple of days to regroup and re-experience life as "independent" me rather than "relationship" me.

How do I tell my crab this so that he understands? I mean, if it was the other way around & he wanted to spend a weekend without me, I'm quite sure that my feelings would be hurt.
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CancerianGoddess
@CancerianGoddess
17 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 10 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 279
This is gonna turn out bad no matter how you put it... Unless someone died and you must jump a plane now,.. its gpnna make him think your either

A) Cheating
B) Thinking about weather you want to be with him or not

OR The worst case scenario

C) He will allow it and than stalk you or have others keep an eye on you to make sure nobody is at your house or your at anybody elses.

Challanging him to see if he can do it? Pfffft, dont listen to that shytttt, We are the masters of manipulation and mind games, say that and watch it blow up in your face...

Hate to be all blunt but i am just being honest.

This will go over like a fart in a snowsuit... SORRY 😢
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paries
@paries
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 247 · Topics: 22
Posted by CancerianGoddess
This is gonna turn out bad no matter how you put it... Unless someone died and you must jump a plane now,.. its gpnna make him think your either

A) Cheating
B) Thinking about weather you want to be with him or not

OR The worst case scenario

C) He will allow it and than stalk you or have others keep an eye on you to make sure nobody is at your house or your at anybody elses.

Challanging him to see if he can do it? Pfffft, dont listen to that shytttt, We are the masters of manipulation and mind games, say that and watch it blow up in your face...

Hate to be all blunt but i am just being honest.

This will go over like a fart in a snowsuit... SORRY 😢



No worries about being blunt. I was thinking exactly the same thing. I don't think it would go over very well either.
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paries
@paries
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 247 · Topics: 22
Posted by PurrrrHissss
Just tell him that you're going to spend the weekend with your family. Any reasonable crab would be fine with that.



True. Except that I don't really want to spend the weekend with family (or friends). What I really want is to plan a weekend home alone by myself. (But I wouldn't necessarily say "no" if a family member or friend called me up and said they wanted to see me). I guess what I really want is a couple of days without my bf. So yeah. This might be a problem.
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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
Posted by paries
Posted by PurrrrHissss
Just tell him that you're going to spend the weekend with your family. Any reasonable crab would be fine with that.



True. Except that I don't really want to spend the weekend with family (or friends). What I really want is to plan a weekend home alone by myself. (But I wouldn't necessarily say "no" if a family member or friend called me up and said they wanted to see me). I guess what I really want is a couple of days without my bf. So yeah. This might be a problem.
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You get around that by telling him your family is coming to your home, and you are really needing some sister time or Mom time, or whatever. Make sure to emphasis it in a way that he gets you're lonely for your family and one on one time. If he gets pissy, get pissy back.
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cancerlovestaurus
@cancerlovestaurus
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 164 · Topics: 5
Look them in their eyes and tell them what you need and why. Be very sincere and serious in your approach. Call them a few times over the weekend. If they seem to have a problem then tell them to ask around as see if people they know need "me time". This way they can see it is nothing personal but you just have diff requirements. It seems like an emotional burden is being placed on you and it is chore to get personal time. 😢 Sorry to hear this. I hope you are not pushed away or suffocated.
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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
Posted by Maddy
Why does this have to a big deal? He's a grown man he should understand and not pout like a 5 year old. Why is always what he wants and needs? Tell him you want time off and that's it, let him pout if he wants to. We understand when they push us away, and they want time alone, they should be able to do the same for us.



You know it doesn't *always* work that way, Maddy. If it did, us Cancers wouldnt be deemed the most confusing and misunderstood sign under the zodiac 😛 haha
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paries
@paries
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 247 · Topics: 22
Thanks for all the feedback. I appreciate hearing from the Cancers letting me know this might not go over well. And I appreciate confirmation from Maddy that it's not always all about you guys and your feelings. Us other signs have needs too 🙂

Nevertheless, I'm going to wait until he's in a good mood (not one of his insecure, sulking ones) then tell him that I have tons of things to do at home and that I would like a full weekend alone to get everything and myself sorted. (This is not a lie). I'm okay with us deciding together ahead of time which weekend would work best for both of us (so he has time to make other plans too).