deewatt
@deewatt
14 YearsAries
Comments: 0 · Posts: 5 · Topics: 1
I messed up big time, now I'm losing my best frien
Soon he'd start sleeping over, we don't have sex since I still had the condition, but we cuddle together and He would share his heart with me, he opens up to me so much. We talk about his childhood and family and his past relationships, I mean this guy tells me EVERYTHING! Plus he is so romantic. We'd kiss tenderly and I'd fall asleep in his arms. Now I'm really falling for him. In the mornings he likes for me to cook breakfast for him and we'd hang out before he goes home. Then I'd text him something real sweet and he'd call me and we chat on the phone, then late at night we'd chat and put each other to sleep. He'd say I'm the last voice he hears at nights and the first in the mornings. But while I'm falling for him I still hold back, so now he thinks he loves me more. This man is my best friend! We became so inseperable! He makes me laugh so much and he makes me feel so beautiful and special. Every night we have a ritual where he'd call and share his whole day with me. We've been dating now for two months and we have spoken EVERY NIGHT. My other closed off cancer has now faded into the background.
Now here's the problem. On July 4th we had a family bar-b-q at our house. He came by, we hung out and I started drinking, I'm only a social drinker and don't really get drunk, but then I did. I got so drunk he took me upstairs to shower before bed. He got in the shower, I noticed he was rushing to get out and I wanted to join him. He has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and really didn't want the shower curtain to touch him hence why he was rushing out of the tub, I didn't know this and got a bit upset with him, he kept saying "Just hurry and get out of the shower" and I kept telling him to come join me and he walked away so I told him "Kiss my ass!" I remembered the look of disdain came over his face. In the bedroom he refused to speak to me. The following morning he got dressed and left the house. His brother told me that he doesn't like his women using curse words at him and he takes a strong offense to it.
I tried calling to apologise and he doesn't takes my calls. He calls and speaks with my cousin and tells her I hurt him by cursing at him and he didn't expect that from me and that I disrespected him. He speaks to everyone else but me. So I began texting him that I was sorry, no response. One day I called, he answered I tried to say I was sorry, he wasn't having it. He even said he doesn't know if he loves me anymore....
Now here's the problem. On July 4th we had a family bar-b-q at our house. He came by, we hung out and I started drinking, I'm only a social drinker and don't really get drunk, but then I did. I got so drunk he took me upstairs to shower before bed. He got in the shower, I noticed he was rushing to get out and I wanted to join him. He has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and really didn't want the shower curtain to touch him hence why he was rushing out of the tub, I didn't know this and got a bit upset with him, he kept saying "Just hurry and get out of the shower" and I kept telling him to come join me and he walked away so I told him "Kiss my ass!" I remembered the look of disdain came over his face. In the bedroom he refused to speak to me. The following morning he got dressed and left the house. His brother told me that he doesn't like his women using curse words at him and he takes a strong offense to it.
I tried calling to apologise and he doesn't takes my calls. He calls and speaks with my cousin and tells her I hurt him by cursing at him and he didn't expect that from me and that I disrespected him. He speaks to everyone else but me. So I began texting him that I was sorry, no response. One day I called, he answered I tried to say I was sorry, he wasn't having it. He even said he doesn't know if he loves me anymore....
I asked him if he wants me to just go away, he said it's up to me. Then he ended the conversation quite abruptly. He told his brother he is through with me so I decided not to contact him anymore. Today being Sunday, 6 days after July 4th, I heard he was coming to the house to hang out with his brother. I found that strange because he really only comes to the house to see me. I live in a family house with his brother and my cousin who are both married. He came and headed straight out to the back porch and didn't come up to say hi. So I went out to the Porch and said good day to him and all the others who were there and he smiled and responded. I didn't join them, I went back to my room. He was playing dominos with some other cousins and his brothers the whole day and I stayed in my room. He's usually the life of the party and they were all having a good time, he was in good spirits. In the night he began to leave and I called him on his cell while he was still downstairs and said, I was big enough to say hi, can't you say good bye to me? He answered very abruptly that he was just going to take his brother home and come back.
He did come back, I heard his van drove up and someone opened the front door for him and I waited for him to come up to my room. I waited 20 minutes and when I didn't see him I looked through the window and saw his van was gone. He had left and never said a word to me. I tried calling and he didn't answer.
I am so hurt for I know I have really fallen for this guy and I miss him so incredibly much. The other closed off cancer started calling me now and telling me he's been thinking of me and missing me and all I can think of is the one missing in action. I seem to have hurt him badly and now he's gone cold on me. He is the one I want. He's my best friend in the whole world and now I've made him gone crawl up in his crab hole.
What the hell should I do? It's 3:30 am in the morning of that same night and I found this site and I hope someone can help me.
He did come back, I heard his van drove up and someone opened the front door for him and I waited for him to come up to my room. I waited 20 minutes and when I didn't see him I looked through the window and saw his van was gone. He had left and never said a word to me. I tried calling and he didn't answer.
I am so hurt for I know I have really fallen for this guy and I miss him so incredibly much. The other closed off cancer started calling me now and telling me he's been thinking of me and missing me and all I can think of is the one missing in action. I seem to have hurt him badly and now he's gone cold on me. He is the one I want. He's my best friend in the whole world and now I've made him gone crawl up in his crab hole.
What the hell should I do? It's 3:30 am in the morning of that same night and I found this site and I hope someone can help me.
Yippeee!!! My little crabcake finally called me!!!
OMG I decided not to contact him anymore and just give him his space, and voila! It wasn't but 2 days later - last night - while I lay in bed thinking about him that my cellphone rang. I could barely contain my excitement when I answered the phone. I had my 'play it cool and you messed up speech' planned but that went straight through the door when I heard his voice. He said he missed me terribly and couldn't resist the urge to call. I told him I missed him too, and in my best spoilt baby voice (that he likes so well, it makes him feel like my protector and hero) I told him I was so sad as I didn't have anyone to tuck me in and put me to bed anymore. He said that's why he called, so he could put me to bed. And it was as if nothing happened and the past week was deleted out of our lives, we were little lovebirds again!
I know I messed up when I 'disrespected him', I plan to ensure that I am forgiven even though I know they really never let anything go. He didn't want to talk about it last night, he seemed to want to hear a lot of affirmations of my love for him though, he really has a hard time believing that I truly love him. I truly do, with all my heart I do.
I adore my moody crabcake, he's my absolute soulmate!
OMG I decided not to contact him anymore and just give him his space, and voila! It wasn't but 2 days later - last night - while I lay in bed thinking about him that my cellphone rang. I could barely contain my excitement when I answered the phone. I had my 'play it cool and you messed up speech' planned but that went straight through the door when I heard his voice. He said he missed me terribly and couldn't resist the urge to call. I told him I missed him too, and in my best spoilt baby voice (that he likes so well, it makes him feel like my protector and hero) I told him I was so sad as I didn't have anyone to tuck me in and put me to bed anymore. He said that's why he called, so he could put me to bed. And it was as if nothing happened and the past week was deleted out of our lives, we were little lovebirds again!
I know I messed up when I 'disrespected him', I plan to ensure that I am forgiven even though I know they really never let anything go. He didn't want to talk about it last night, he seemed to want to hear a lot of affirmations of my love for him though, he really has a hard time believing that I truly love him. I truly do, with all my heart I do.
I adore my moody crabcake, he's my absolute soulmate!
Oh girl, now my crabcake seems to have pulled up the breaks in our relationship. He hasn't called since, he usually calls evryday, I called him yesterday and he didn't respond or call back. Heard he went out of town and usually he would tell me but didn't. I called him today and we had a light conversation, he still didn't tell me he was out of town and I didn't question it. One of my aunt's is having a bar-b-q tomorrow and I was told that he is going to be there, he didn't tell me he was going. I did ask him when I was going to see him again and he said he didn't know (even though he knew he was going to be at the bar-b-q)
Oh well, I guess this reconnection is going to happen much slower than I anticipate. I won't push him at all, I'll let him move at his own pace. But for the Bar-b-q tomorrow I'm going to dress to impress and wear my favourite perfume - he likes when I smell flowery - and I'm gonna be very upbeat and positive, and see where it goes.
Oh well, I guess this reconnection is going to happen much slower than I anticipate. I won't push him at all, I'll let him move at his own pace. But for the Bar-b-q tomorrow I'm going to dress to impress and wear my favourite perfume - he likes when I smell flowery - and I'm gonna be very upbeat and positive, and see where it goes.
I was told men when they get upset need space. WHat they do is retreat into a cave.sort themselves out and then come back strong and positive. If your stood over them saying all your ideas for sorting it out they cant think.dunno if its true or not but it seemed to work in this case
Oh God, he's one of "those." He's 1 of those men who will literally give you/everybody the silent treatment whenever he's mad
Granted, him needing some space after he's felt disrespected is understandable
BUT, communication is still important even when you're upset with someone. How can you 2 ever expect to develop into a full blown happy relationship if every time there's a problem he ignores you OR won't face or talk about the issues/his feelings?
On 1 hand, I wish I could tell him to "get over it." But on the other hand, I know what it's like to be upset about something that others feel is only minor or petty
In other words, you 2 oughta be better than that.
Just leave him be for right now. He knows how much you care about him. It's just that right now, you've struck a nerve w/in him that is making his anger over the situation outweigh his feelings for you.
If/when he comes back for good, you both need to have "the talk." As in discussing that you both should atleast have the respect enough to be cordial, mature & speak to 1 another during rough times. If not, someone will always get hurt or assume the worst after being left in the dark/high & dry, & that can really mess a relationship/friendship up in the long run, especially if it keeps happening.
Give him time to get over it. Let him come back to you. But don't let him back in unless he's fully ready to forgive you for what happend. Not him coming back to tuck you in 1 night only to ignore you all over again the next night. That's childish & petty.
You've done your part. You've acknowledged that you've disrespected him, you've apologized, you've tried to make things right, etc. Now it's up to him to either let it pass so that you 2 can go back to normal OR if he honestly feels like what you said was a dealbreaker, he needs to leave you alone for awhile.
You didn't sign up for a part-time friendship/relationship. You wanted full-time. And if his emotions are that upset that he can't even speak to you, that's fine, BUT he needs to leave you alone UNTIL you've actually got a full & fair shot with him. Otherwise, it'll always be you chasing after him while he's running in the other direction. And that, my dear, WILL get old
Granted, him needing some space after he's felt disrespected is understandable
BUT, communication is still important even when you're upset with someone. How can you 2 ever expect to develop into a full blown happy relationship if every time there's a problem he ignores you OR won't face or talk about the issues/his feelings?
On 1 hand, I wish I could tell him to "get over it." But on the other hand, I know what it's like to be upset about something that others feel is only minor or petty
In other words, you 2 oughta be better than that.
Just leave him be for right now. He knows how much you care about him. It's just that right now, you've struck a nerve w/in him that is making his anger over the situation outweigh his feelings for you.
If/when he comes back for good, you both need to have "the talk." As in discussing that you both should atleast have the respect enough to be cordial, mature & speak to 1 another during rough times. If not, someone will always get hurt or assume the worst after being left in the dark/high & dry, & that can really mess a relationship/friendship up in the long run, especially if it keeps happening.
Give him time to get over it. Let him come back to you. But don't let him back in unless he's fully ready to forgive you for what happend. Not him coming back to tuck you in 1 night only to ignore you all over again the next night. That's childish & petty.
You've done your part. You've acknowledged that you've disrespected him, you've apologized, you've tried to make things right, etc. Now it's up to him to either let it pass so that you 2 can go back to normal OR if he honestly feels like what you said was a dealbreaker, he needs to leave you alone for awhile.
You didn't sign up for a part-time friendship/relationship. You wanted full-time. And if his emotions are that upset that he can't even speak to you, that's fine, BUT he needs to leave you alone UNTIL you've actually got a full & fair shot with him. Otherwise, it'll always be you chasing after him while he's running in the other direction. And that, my dear, WILL get old
Posted by deewatt
Yippeee!!! My little crabcake finally called me!!!
OMG I decided not to contact him anymore and just give him his space, and voila! It wasn't but 2 days later - last night - while I lay in bed thinking about him that my cellphone rang. I could barely contain my excitement when I answered the phone. I had my 'play it cool and you messed up speech' planned but that went straight through the door when I heard his voice. He said he missed me terribly and couldn't resist the urge to call. I told him I missed him too, and in my best spoilt baby voice (that he likes so well, it makes him feel like my protector and hero) I told him I was so sad as I didn't have anyone to tuck me in and put me to bed anymore. He said that's why he called, so he could put me to bed. And it was as if nothing happened and the past week was deleted out of our lives, we were little lovebirds again!
I know I messed up when I 'disrespected him', I plan to ensure that I am forgiven even though I know they really never let anything go. He didn't want to talk about it last night, he seemed to want to hear a lot of affirmations of my love for him though, he really has a hard time believing that I truly love him. I truly do, with all my heart I do.
I adore my moody crabcake, he's my absolute soulmate!
Hey deewatt?
I don't know a lot. But you see this?
All this shit.
This is not your fault.
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Will continue...