is it too late already

Hi I was wondering if you could help me out in understanding my cancer man. We have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and he will not let his guard down. He was not like this at first because everything was fine and he was very much the sweet guy that you want to take home to meet mommy. I did think in my head that maybe he might not want to be with me anymore but he asked me what makes me think that especially when he is text messaging me everyday, talking to me, seeing me on a regular basis. I am confused about how I can understand him, he does talk but all the sweet talk has gone, his romantic side has gone, it is like as if he has turned all cool on me about everything with no emotions. He is also quite pessimistic about everything. How can I warm his heart up I have not a clue what to do to bring him back. Can anyone relate?
Please help somebody.

Sounds like he did let his guard down. A person is usually at their best behavior in the beginning, the ugliness is the real them later on. Maybe he is bored. I say pull away and dont talk to him everyday. Anytime a woman says anything to a man about the how she feels about the relationship is viewed as a nag. You have already stated your concern, so he knows what's up. When a guy no longer viewed you as a challenge they become bored. What is your sign? Warm his heart and pull away. Dont be available when he contacts you. When you do talk to him keep it light and flirty. Then after about 10 minutes end the conversation and be busy. Dont initiate anything. Men love to feel like they are working for something.

A person is at their best in the beginning? I thought he was being himself because I am always myself around my friends and the people I meet and that never changes. He liked how I was always nice to him, now it's like he does not really care or bothered, he is a bit too cool if you know what I mean. It's funny you have mentioned how a woman talking to her man about the relationship could be seen as nagging because whenever I have talked about something that has changed he will pull away even more. I would have never thought he is bored of me but come to think of it if a man can generally get bored sometimes then he must get bored in a relationship too.
So how do I warm his heart up exactly, or is it those behaviours you explained above that will warm his heart up by me not being so available to him? It's like I am carrying all the burden of this relationship and he has taken off on a holiday in his mind or something with his super cool attitude behind his super cool sunglasses. When I picture it I see him in Hawaii with that slow lazy type Hawaii music playing that makes you want laze on the beach sipping on cocktails with the beautiful sights of the ocean while I am on my couch sipping on beer with the television in front of me wondering what the hell happened.
My sign is aquarius.

There is no exact formula to this. Fill your days up and be busy. Go volunteer, take a class, take a hobby, and hang out with your friends. Stop worrying about him. Guys never hear a woman when she is complaining. So go silent on him and get busy with your life and he will be the one to wonder what the hell happened. Silence speaks volumes.

Ok thank you, I will try the busy approach and stick to hanging with my friends and taking up a new activity or something. I think he can tell I am not always happy and he even says it that are you ever happy with anything. So I need to get my own inner happiness back. I have been feeling a little down due to wondering where I went wrong and why he pulled away. If I ask him about the change or say I wish I could change back to the way it was all I get is I don't know, I doubt it, doesn't seem hopefull. After that I just gave up and said it's okay I like you the way you are. There is not point in me arguing about it or bugging him more than I have. I will just leave him be and do my own thing.

georgiapeach what you suggested has got some reaction from him. He is all of a sudden bothered and seemed a little annoyed that I enjoyed the sunny day with my friends after a very long time. So much so that he wanted every detail of the outing from what I wore to his comment about how he bets all the guys were checking me out. My close friend thinks that he is jealous/insecure and that I should be careful of not over doing it in case I end up not feeling him out. So I am trying to keep a healthy balance with work, home, friends, boyfriend, my own space...
I must admit I got to clear my head by spending time with myself and my friends without thinking of my boyfriend. He initiated contact because he did not hear from me first throughout the day because I was busy doing my own things.

It is not your problem that he has a jealousy/insecurity issue. Everybody has issues of some sort so he will be ok. I mean be normal and show him attention, but he doesnt need to know what you are doing everyday and who you are with. The only kind of man who deserves this information is the one who marries you. But at any rate I am glad to see that you are making progress!

haha, that's funny what u said about the sweet stuff stopping. that totally sounds cancerian.

my cancer guy friend used to act like this old-school romantic for the first few months. he even serenaded me under the moon and stars, singing to me with an acoustic guitar. yeah, once they get comfortable that stuff is out the window! however, they will show u they care in other ways. they will actually care for u, tend to ur needs, be there when u need them, etc. for example... my friend is a musician. even though he no longer courts me i spontaneously asked him to give me a private performance last night as i was feeling kinda low (hormones but he didn't know). he picked me up, took me to his place, and he played for me for a solid hour. he brought me to tears with a couple of songs. afterward he brought me to his room, we watched some comedy piece, he held me, gave me a light massage, and i fell asleep all peaceful like.

he's still sweet but he's not afraid to give me shit now either!