joke's on me (what happened , crab?)

Before anything else, Happy New Year, everybody!

I've spent weeks reading the threads here, and while I knew this crab was trouble, I still went right in (the daring twin of mine couldn't resist).

So anyway, like most crabs he was all that: smarr, quiet but with a wicked sense of humor, perceptive, and was a gentleman. We saw each other weekly at work and we'd have moments indicating that it was going somewhere (or so I thought). He would spend time with me and my friends and would give in to my tiny whims- once I joked about how I liked being fed, and when my friend stood up to smoke, he suddenly fed me food.

As I've read in previous posts here, the dreaded phase kicked in - he started blowing hot and cold. I tried to ride his waves, but decided to send him the clearest signal possible through a well thought of gift. On the card I wrote, "ask."

On that last day, we were walking around some mall and I asked him if he could jelp me with something. When he asked me what it was about, I asked if he could hold my hand, cause I wanted to know how it felt like ( I know this is funny). He took it, and when I joked about how I dont want to be attacked by some girl, he said that he doesnt think we would be seen. Now, I dont know if it was true, or if he said that cause he wanted to get some kind of reaction from me, but I refused to take the bait and just kept calm. After his statement, I thought he was just riding along with my hand holding request so I let go. He reached for it again. And again. And again. I was literally on cloud nine for the rest of that evening. Before we parted ways I gave him the gift. I thought the card would be a good "punctuation" to what occurred earlier.

By now I'm sure you already know what happened. He disappeared. No replies. No greetings. Nothing. I dont know what I did wrong, so I go ahead and apologized if I upset him. Still nothing.

just when I thought it was about to go somewhere.

What happened

Time frame... well this whole "thing" happened in around 8 weeks, with our final meeting around 2 weeks ago. He's leaving the country next week for a month of work related training, and I found out that he'd be gone for 3 good months. Will most probably cross paths in March or April (assuming he won't go out of his way to rearrange his schedule to avoid me). My gut is telling me that this may be an "out of sight out of mind" situation and he chose to escape whatever it was. Since were both adults, it wouldve been better if he was just upfront with me that he wasnt interested. Or better yet, he shouldnt have led me on.

Posted by gemjam
He's leaving the country next week for a month of work related training, and I found out that he'd be gone for 3 good months. Will most probably cross paths in March or April

you won't hear anything before he leaves, except maybe a friendly goodbye. if he contacts you... don't question him about what happened but don't play it off either. if you will wait for him... make that clear without being too direct or expecting him to reveal his feelings. he probably won't

if your feelings are sincere and you wait for him... this may work out for you two

if you try to cover your vulnerability by blowing him off or dating other people to get over him or "prove" something to yourself.. you will fail.

follow your heart... not your head.

can Gems do that?

I've worn my heart on my sleeve with this one, though it is difficult.

How do I make it clear that I'll "wait for him" without being too direct?

I once read that the worst thing someone could do to a gem is to ignore them. So true! His silence is lethal and when that is combined with my tendency to over think and analyse...

I really like him. I don't what happened. After an evening of holding hands, you'd expect things to progress. Yet he fell off the face of the earth. He ignored my subsequent messages (wishing him a great week to break the ice in case he was too shy), which leads me to believe that he is telling me that he isn't interested and maybe things with that "girl" he's been hinting at are already serious.

maybe they are..we are quite faitful. cant concentrate on 2 things at a time. single minded focus is good. leave it...if he comes back dont be a schmuck. he will go forever then.

Thanks, everyone.

Ill try hard to get things off my head, without doing anything drastic or stupid. If he does come back, I will heed your advice. I'll still be as playful as I was before, instead of blowing him off.