Male cancer and mixed messages...............

Just a brief overview of my situation. I met my cancer lover over 20 years ago at 19. We had a hot steamy romance until I went off to college. I broke it off because a long distance relationship would not work. However, I never forgot about this man. Fast forward 20 years later, I found him on FB and initiated contact in Aug 2010. We were so happy to reconnect. I told him how much I still cared for him and was excited that he shared the same sentiments. He told me I was the one that got away and that he also searched for my through the years and that he still loved me after all this time. We've had a text/phone romance because we live 2 hours apart and I was scared to meet up too soon because the emotions were too intense. However, we finally had a face to face meeting after 2 months of texting. The first hug was electric and the first kiss....OMG...We could not keep our hands off one another, no sex just hugs and kisses. It was as if time stood still and we picked up where we left off.

We've seen each other maybe 8 times over the past 6 months due to the distance and our hectic schedules. He has made it known that he was deeply in love with me and needed me in his life and of course I expressed the same. We would text everyday all day, but we began to experience minor rifts. He began to show possessive, jealous traits, moody and would get mad so easy over nothing. It caught me off guard because I'd never seen that side of him. He would ask me why I chose to be with him because I was so pretty and could have any man I want—? He asked this all the time! He said that he was concerned that he couldn't give me the time I needed and that I would stray eventually. One day we would be so emotional, telling me how much he loved me, etc and the next he'd be sort of cold and aloof. Of course this behavior confused me. Around Christmas time we saw each other. He'd planned a day of fishing/picnic for me. It was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. He brought wine, crab legs red potatoes and all the trimmings cooked everything at the park and we dined under the stars. So nice! Unfortunately, we had to end the night early because he works overnight and had to hit the road. His trip home took three hours....The next day I called him to thank him for the beautiful evening and he was unusually short with me. Of course my head began to wonder what was wrong and had I done something to make him sort of cold. I remembered during the

the picnic he commented that he'd better hurry up and feed me so I won't become more bored with him. Huh! I told him I was having a great time. For some reason he thinks that I'm this high society, high class woman that needs all the bells and whistles to enjoy myself. Yes, I'm a leo but I like simple things too. LOL

After that day, I noticed he began to pull/push away, but 2-3 days later he'd send me text telling me how in love his is with me, etc. He wouldn't call me I had to always contact him first. Mixed messages!!! I sent a text telling him I needed to chat and I told him what my concerns were and he became a little angry telling me that just because he wasn't talkative some days did not mean that his feelings had changed. However, my intuition told me something was up. He would pick fights with me then tell me I won't hear from him for a few days. Of course I panicked and wanted to rectify the issue right away which he refused to do. So we wouldn't talk for a few days. I would text him after 2-3 days and he was literally waiting to hear from me to call telling me how much he missed me and needed to talk to me but needed me to call first—? Anyhoo, things have been sort of weird since Christmas. He began to not return text, calls and basically ignore me. I sent him one final text telling him that is he's no longer interested etc, just say so and we would part as friends but don't lead me on. Of course he got angry at me for confronting him but I did is respectfully. After that day I slowly began to cuts my ties with him. I began the grieving process of letting him go. It was so painful. Days and days of tears but I had to do it. I stopped calling...... NO MORE CONTACT. The weekend went by and usually on Monday I send him a text bright and early. This time no text on Monday, no text on Tuesday.... Wednesday comes and guess who's texting me! Yep, it's him... now for the past 3 weeks he text me everyday at the same time. The conversation is different as if he's trying to gauge how I feel about him and he even told me he wants to see me this week. I'm so baffled. Why would he tell me he's so in love with me one day and run the other? The picnic was so much fun and we really bonded, but after that he pulled away. I don't get it. I needed to share this because I'm thoroughly confused. As a Leo, I can become very impatient with this behavior but I'm trying to understand him. Fellow cancer lovers please analyze this for me and tell me

what should I do. It seems as though he became interested when I stopped calling. In his last text he told me that he still loves me but we need to tone it down. Okay! I asked what does that mean and his response was that we don't need to talk everyday. Whatever! He says that but still text me everyday.....I stopped calling all together because I read that they like to do the pursuing. Maybe his feeling were becoming too strong and scared him....maybe his insecurities got the best of him. I don't know...

Posted by Leo1970
. Maybe his feeling were becoming too strong and scared him....maybe his insecurities got the best of him. I don't know...

you'll never know. if your ok with that, stick around. If not... run

Hm. In the beginning, with my cancer bf (i'm a leo girl too), he was so hard on himself. He kept a lot of his insecurities inside and he did construct some kinda wall to protect himself. He also thought that I was too good for him. He thought that things were "too good to be true" for a long time. It was when he held on to that idea, along with falling in love with me, that he got weird on me. Like so many others, he had been hurt pretty badly by ex lovers. Mine is divorced from a woman who cheated on him and was trying to impregnate herself by one of their mutual friends. He confessed to me that he was scared to death. This made him act irrationally, a little cagey, and inclined to pick little fights. It's like he was stirring up drama to see if we could get through it... like a test. Not an intentional one but a test nonetheless. It actually worried him that we had known each other, and been friends, for such a long time with no disagreements! Basically he viewed me as practically perfect. An image I could never live up to.

One thing that we must always exercise when dealing with Cancers, as a Leo, is patience. They move fast and slow at the same time. They move fast enough to latch on to you but need ample time to feel everything out. We have to be prudent and stay very consistent. A hard lesson between this match is for Leo to not take the crab's moods so personally. Cancer often admires our inner strength and can see us as a sort of rock. They need something steady for their waters. They need lots of affection, understanding, and as i stated above, patience. Not an easy task for us lions. You need to always be your genuine self and not allow yourself to be manipulated. I have witnessed, and been on the receiving end, of the unevolved cancer's manipulation tactics. it's on an emotional level. if you don't stay on top of it you may end up on a roller coaster ride of emotions that will end up draining you. be gentle with him but stand firm on your convictions.

Thank you Ninjamu

That's my issue, not taking what he does personally. In my world, not returning calls/text is considered rude but he thinks it's perfectly okay. However, after I checked him on it, he now returns my text immediately and he even initiates contact when in the beginning I was the only one calling. However, now I'm dealing with a new issue. I don't know if he's shelling as they say or just not interested in seeing me. He continues to tell he "likes" me. LOL He switches between "like" and "love." LOL One day he tells me he likes me so much and the other I love you. Hmmm! We live 2 hours away from each other so I've taken that into consideration. I've asked to see him on several occasions and he tells me next week, I'll let you know what day, but when that weeks arrives, he pushes it to the following week and when that week arrives, he pushes it up another week. This has been happening for weeks now and I'm beginning to become a little frustrated. I've told him several times, if you're no longer interested, say so and we can part as friends and I will not pursue anything further, but no Mr. says, "I want to see you too." What I've done is cut contact with him. I've stopped calling, but of course when I'm settled on moving on, he calls consistently, everyday at the same time. Of course I'm drawn back in because I take it as a sign he's still interested. I don't know. It took everything in me not to call him yesterday to discuss what the issue is, but I'm gonna be patient. He said he's coming down Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, so I'll wait to see what happens.

I'm a Leo with a Cancer moon and dated some Cancer's but we never could get over what you are describing. I think Leo's really reflect their sun sign more and need to be with another fire sign or someone at least as open and as giving as we are.
I just couldn't handle the moods of a Cancer.

Jonleo, I think you're right. I'm went out with a scorpio and oh my, he's a hot number. He's intense, hot, deep, driven , intoxicating. LOL Should be interesting. I haven't talked to Mr. Cancer since Monday and was doing so well with not thinking about him until he called again today. LOL Just when I thought he was moving on and leaving me alone he pops up.

And it seems they keep "popping up" as long as we let they, they never really go away? maybe for a few days, a few weeks even a few mos, but ultimately seem to always come back just read some of the threads on here,you'd swear we were all dating the same man! We've danced the same dance maybe rode the same rollercoaster ride and just when you stop ALLL contact is when they come back with a vengeance determined to get right back where they were before the running or mixed msg started, if you love him,brace yourself & be prepared for a ride like no other....if its a casual thing cut your ties now and run lioness,as fast as you can!