Me and my Cancer Boyfriend just broke up

On our 1 year 1/2 anniversary yesterday. I am a Pisces and I was very clingy and I did everything for him. We broke up once before because I was over him I didn't want to be with him. He begged me back and promised me things were changed and I rejected him. We were apart for about a month and when I was done with everything like partying and stuff I was just lonely and I missed him. I realized I enjoyed everything more when he was there. I missed him and when I realized it I tried going back to him and he shot me down he told me he didn't want it and I told him I loved him and he was my soulmate and I cared so much about him and he agreed that we would be friends. Then the next day he came to my house and told me he wanted to see me and he missed me. We got back together and things were kinda bumpy it was when summer first started and I felt I needed to prove myself. But I was really insecure because he slept with someone else when we were split up. I agreed to drop it and move on because I wanted to be with him. Then the day before our anniversary he gave me a card and it said "I LOVE YOU MY QUEEN" and we saw a movie then I went back to his place and I asked him why he wasn't being affectionate and he said that things were different. It led to him telling me he was done and that he no longer wanted this relationship because I drained him I brought stress he didn't need. I understand I was clingy but it's because I made him the CENETR of my world and it was suffocating. But now I have a job and I want to spend time with my family and set my priorities and he was just like no no it's done. Then we fell asleep and when I woke up I kissed him and he would turn away and I started talking to him and I was like I'm serious this will all be worth it I love you so much and he kept telling me he was done, he didn't want a relationship but I managed to get him to stop and I guess I forced him to drop it. Then he came to my house and my mom came and was like do you love her and he said he wasn't in love with me but he loved me as a friend. and she said you better think of what you are saying because if you don't want her I am not going to let her grovel over someone that doesn't want her and he said I know I want to break up. I cried and cried because it hurt so bad to have the love of my life just give up on me like that. He told me he wanted to still be friends he said I know you and I will be really good friends. And then he just left. What do I do?!

Posted by chelseaanne
What do I do?!

You learn to take care of things on your own without having your mother supervise your life if you want a relationship with anyone that might resemble a man.

HI,
Well I'm a Pisces too, and I understand your sensitivity, but there were many things which you could learn from, not to repeat in next relationships..
1) Being clingy and needy will make ANY man, no matter his sign, run away from you. Men like women who are independent, who have a life, and who can share things in the relationships, not somebody they need to care for and will be depending on them.
2) Making him the center of his life..again, YOU are the center of your life. Love, as important as it is, is only one element that makes up your life along with family, friends, hobbies, work,and so many more. Of course, if he was the center of your life, and now he is gone, you are bound to feel depressed and down...but it is your mistake for letting that happen.

3) Ok I agree with Mr. Crabby, your mom has nothing to do with you and your relationship, you need to be the one who decides, who takes action, not her. She shouldnt interfere at all...

He wronged you definitely and I wouldnt give him a chance when he came back crawling to you, because I'm sure he will...just stand your ground and try to build your life with different things, being grateful for what you have and striving to grow as a person.
Let go of this..it is certainly not good for you and you deserve better...
Swim to warmer waters!!!!
There are plenty of fish in the ocean 🙂

Fuck yeah Mr. Crabby (asshole) 🙂

Posted by CancerLeoCam
I should state that I was the consummate giver with these girls. I guess my given affection and pampering was a turn-off. Maybe being indifferent and insensitive has a higher return on investment. I see it working with other guys...hmmm...

Cam , I believe there should be a BALANCE in the relationship, there shouldnt be only one giver and the other receiver. The two should give and take..I think sometimes when we love somebody, we try hard and hard to make the other care, and sometimes we drain ourselves giving and that doesnt work, because the ground isnt fertile, and we are sowing seeds and they will never grow. It is frustrating. We need to find a person who would be glad to give us what we need..it is difficult, I know.
Nobody but us should be the center of our lives..it is not healthy to be clingy. Im not saying be selfish, but sometimes, a little bit doesnt hurt. You are a sweetheart and you will find that special person...a man like you will be valued by any healthy girl out there...🙂

Posted by CancerLeoCam

Posted by PiscesArgie

1) Being clingy and needy will make ANY man, no matter his sign, run away from you...

Where are these clingy girls? Seriously, I've never had this experience. I seem to run into the ones who like me then shortly later...could care less. The obvious point is...it has to do with me. 😢

click to expand

It's often the case with me too. Women need to feel like they have someone other women would want, it's almost all that matters.

YOU AIN'T TOUCHIN' MA MAN!!!

Posted by CancerLeoCam
I should state that I was the consummate giver with these girls. I guess my given affection and pampering was a turn-off. Maybe being indifferent and insensitive has a higher return on investment. I see it working with other guys...hmmm...

CancerLeoCam,

There is nothing wrong with being a giver. We all recognize the guys that are indifferent and insensitive get a lot of the spoils but these can often be one-sided and dis-functional relationships. I was in one for 5 years and think one of the main reasons I may have been there was to conquer the challenge it presented. It's not a good situation.

I think maybe that is why I am so enamored with this Cancer guy I just met. He straight out told me that he was a giver and stupid me said I'm one of those that has trouble receiving. I guess that was a bad thing to say because really deep down I would so take it from him all day long. Deep down, I would love nothing more than to have a man by my side that would be that kind of man for me.

My point is, it may seem like being the giver isn't the most fruitful characteristic although if you thing about it, it truly is the only.

Posted by PiscesArgie
HI,.

He wronged you definitely and I wouldnt give him a chance when he came back crawling to you, because I'm sure he will...just stand your ground and try to build your life with different things, being grateful for what you have and striving to grow as a person.
Let go of this..it is certainly not good for you and you deserve better...
Swim to warmer waters!!!!
There are plenty of fish in the ocean 🙂

Thank you I understand my mom should have not stepped in but he and I were together a lot and she saw a lot of the things that happened. I wanted her there so she could maybe help and so he could get a view from someone else's perspective. I really love him it hurts really bad. I want nothing more than to better myself because I know he is fine and probably isn't thinking about me. I just don't understand how one day he was telling me how much he loved me to the next day saying he didn't. Do you think he was just being cold hearted and trying to close the door? He hugged me and told me he was sorry and said he wanted to be friends but I think he might be doing that to hurt me? I'm very confused. I think I just suffocated him and he did really love me he just couldn't stand all the fighting and my insecurities and maybe if I give him time and focus on myself and better myself he will realize? I feel so stupid everything reminds me of him and I can't deal with it. I miss him so much. But I know he needs time and I do too to forgive and forget I just really miss him and it hurts me to know that he was just so bitter and cold.

Posted by MoonBunny
This!

"He begged me back and promised me things were changed and I rejected him. We were apart for about a month and when I was done with everything like partying and stuff I was just lonely and I missed him. I realized I enjoyed everything more when he was there. I missed him and when I realized it I tried going back to him and he shot me down he told me he didn't want it and I told him I loved him and he was my soulmate ...."

Sadly, many people learn this the hard way. Cancers care so much for their dear ones and love from the bottom of their hearts. The memory of caring lingers long after the Cancer is gone. After people experience the true harshness of the world, they often(always!) want to get back to the old position, in the Cancer's life again, but odds are they never succeed. They get locked out permanently. At least for myself once they're out, they're out. They've proven disloyal and I don't want/need them anymore.

You're better off finding another crab, I'm sorry.

I know that was our first "break" not break up and he was REALLY sad like REALLY REALLY sad and when that happened he told me that he wanted to be with me just not now he needed time. And I was fine I gave him time but I guess right when he got back on his feet and was ready to go out and have fun I went back to him. He told me he wasn't ready. But we became friends and we were still in love so that friendship turned into a relationship really fast. I want to believe that later when I get over this or at least get back on my feet again and feel strong I can be his friend and we can get to know each other again and build a friendship and maybe move into something more. BUt then I feel like I was his first love he lost his virginity to me and I know I won't be forgotten because he was MADLY in love with me. I'm hoping after he gets his mind cleared he will realize all the positive things in our relationship rather than letting the negative outweigh it all. He really was my best friend I loved him well still love him dearly my mind if full of all these what ifs. ALSO! we have a family account like on a phone and he texted me the day after we broke up and was like "remember to pay your half of the bill" and to return the movie he had rented. I still have a lot of his clothes here and I have his camera and he has my car keys and room key and he hasn't asked for anything back. Do

Posted by PiscesArgie

He wronged you definitely and I wouldnt give him a chance when he came back crawling to you, because I'm sure he will...

Do you REALLY think he will try to come back. I know he is going to think about it one day and regret it but do you think he will try to come back? When we used to fight he would always be the one to walk out and then threaten that he no longer wanted the relationship. and I found that once the fight was over and he thought about it he would be like "I'm sorry baby I was just frustrated and didn't mean what I said it's just cause you were putting me down so I put up my guard and got defensive" then we would be fine. I guess thats why I felt so bad because I couldn't fix it right away this time. But maybe this time all he needs is time and space to not stress over what we had. Even his mother called me and told me that she loved me and that I would be okay and he would think about this one day and he's going to regret it he's just in a negative closed minded mind state. And his sister just got out of a crazy relationship her ex was like crazy and she finally called it quits so I think that kinda influenced him.

Hi Chelseaanne,

I am a camcer male have been with a lovely pisces girl more that a year untill i came to USA for my grad-school(we are still in touch).

Honestly, i have lost track of "Break ups" we had with my pisces...it is definitely more than 100 during a year but we always ended up getting back togethere. He is attached to you/ loves you as you do...because of this he wants to keep you as a friend...and MOST LIKELY you two end up in a relationship again (just let the things flow naturally)...break up =>relationship=>break up=> relationship.....He is in a huge dilemma ever since he met you. Look, this process may be cumbersome for you...you might be wasting your time or biulding a foundation of a solid relationship...so think about it before putting all your eggs in one basket.

I love pisces women they give me everything that i might possibly want from a woman, so i am 99.99% sure your cancer feels the same about you, but he also wants more or less grounded/practical woman.

Chelseaanne,
Yes, Im sure he will come back, but I worry that instead of trying to live your life and put your energies in yourself, you will be waiting for his return.
Cancer and P?sces, though it is a good match, are too emotional and yes, they need time apart, and space, because sometimes things become too intense.
Dont fret about it..just go along with your life and dont WAIT for him. If he is figuring things out, let him, but dont be depressed and apathic...
Sometimes people fear when something becomes too serious..they need to analyze things, and Crabs are known for that. Let time pass and while you are busy becoming a better person, he may come back and try to fix things..if you do fix things, make sure you make it really clear that you are not going to put up with some things again, if you do, then this pattern will repeat and wear you out and drive you crazy.
go for a mature relationship..

I hope you can help me understand my Cancer man...............

I'm confused and I know that does'nt come as much of a surprise to you as Cancerians are notoriously 'confusing' in the matter of relationships

OK here goes, met this guy (Cancer) great chemistry, etc., sweet nothings etc., then he told me he did'nt think it would work out between us .............. I was very upset at this outcome as I assumed that we had gelled quite well he told me he had never been drawn to or liked someone so instantly as he had with me I was one of the most likeable, interesting people he had ever met ........... confusing signals. We had had sex (which was entirely against my own rules) but hey ho so double whammy for me.

So I am now not only hurt but feeling quite cheap as well!!

Couple of days later he contacts me by text to ask if I am OK - I said GREAT how are you?? He said he had the blues but did'nt want to talk about it ........ would I like contact I said OK however I kept the conversation on a 'friendzone' level as did he - however as I liked him so much my feelings were developing even more over this period of time.
More confusion - he called me everyday - he responded to my text within seconds - however I was concerned he was just stringing me (he is a loner) and I was just someone to talk to. After much introspection and during our telephone conversation I said to him ' I don't know what it is you want from me' ............... he said he did'nt know either he is confused ........... and did'nt want to hurt me again - so I told him I could'nt be his friend, which upset him as he said he loves talking to me but I felt strong enough to say that I was'nt prepared to hang around whilst he sought 'clarity' as I valued myself too much and I had other offers on the table and he was holding me in a place. Finished the call by saying I maybe would call him when I was next in town !!

Few days later feeling sad and sorry 'AGAIN' I texted him to said I missed him terribly and I hoped he was OK ?? ........... he responded by saying he was missing me too but he was so stressed he can't think straight (workload) and probably would be like this until he returns from his business trip which is couple of weeks away - he finished text by saying he Hoped I was OK ??

WTF is going on here - what should I do —
Move on (which is not what I want to do) I want him, and I want to love and care for him but I have to get some clarity (we live at a distance from

I hope you can help me understand my Cancer man...............

I'm confused and I know that does'nt come as much of a surprise to you as Cancerians are notoriously 'confusing' in the matter of relationships

OK here goes, met this guy (Cancer) great chemistry, etc., sweet nothings etc., then he told me he did'nt think it would work out between us .............. I was very upset at this outcome as I assumed that we had gelled quite well he told me he had never been drawn to or liked someone so instantly as he had with me I was one of the most likeable, interesting people he had ever met ........... confusing signals. We had had sex (which was entirely against my own rules) but hey ho so double whammy for me.

So I am now not only hurt but feeling quite cheap as well!!

Couple of days later he contacts me by text to ask if I am OK - I said GREAT how are you?? He said he had the blues but did'nt want to talk about it ........ would I like contact I said OK however I kept the conversation on a 'friendzone' level as did he - however as I liked him so much my feelings were developing even more over this period of time.
More confusion - he called me everyday - he responded to my text within seconds - however I was concerned he was just stringing me (he is a loner) and I was just someone to talk to. After much introspection and during our telephone conversation I said to him ' I don't know what it is you want from me' ............... he said he did'nt know either he is confused ........... and did'nt want to hurt me again - so I told him I could'nt be his friend, which upset him as he said he loves talking to me but I felt strong enough to say that I was'nt prepared to hang around whilst he sought 'clarity' as I valued myself too much and I had other offers on the table and he was holding me in a place. Finished the call by saying I maybe would call him when I was next in town !!

Few days later feeling sad and sorry 'AGAIN' I texted him to said I missed him terribly and I hoped he was OK ?? ........... he responded by saying he was missing me too but he was so stressed he can't think straight (workload) and probably would be like this until he returns from his business trip which is couple of weeks away - he finished text by saying he Hoped I was OK ??

WTF is going on here - what should I do —
Move on (which is not what I want to do) I want him, and I want to love and care for him but I have to get some clarity (we live at a distance from