Out of Sight, Out of Mind?

Do you all think it's better to fight for your Crab, after he has tried to end it, or is it better to sit back and let space and time heal wounds..with hopes that he will miss you eventually and come back? Is it "out of sight, out of mind" with them? On to the next? Should you let it be known that you will fight for them? Or does that just seem desperate? Will that make them run further away? If someone says they need space, and you give it to them, it seems to me you're just making it easier for them to start something new with someone else. Or am I wrong?

Don't chase a crab with negative emotions (IE... They are mad, frustrated or want some alone time).

The harder you chase them, the further into the sand they burrow.

My advice is to leave them alone when they want their shell time.

Otherwise, you have better odds of winning the lottery than getting them to come back to you.

Give him his space....if he's interested, he'll come back....they always do. Just make sure when he does its on your terms....or its a neverending waltz...=)

what Scubs said...

snap!!!

Great advice from everyone. Thank you so much! Of course, easier said than done. I guess space is best.Pushing will only make them run further away. If they have moved on after you have given them space, they never really wanted to be with you in the first place, I suppose. You can't force someone to love you, sadly. @Wineaux..I've been lurking in the male crab complaint thread since it started. It's great and has helped a lot!

Well, regardless of the person's sign, I think giving someone space when they've asked for it is always best. It shouldn't matter whether or not the other person actually meant it when they asked for it--if they didn't really mean it/want it, that's their problem & their battle.

Cancers aren't dumb/weak. They may leave before they're truly ready to but if there's even an inch of hope left (even if later) they'll probably come back. But it's not like they'll just take crap from anyone or keep on running back into evil's arms.

With Cancers, it's kind of like "Once you break, you buy" with them. It's not to say that they can't ever let go, BUT it makes things 10Xs harder for them if the other person they're pushing away keeps on coming back and/or re-activating their emotions for you again. It'll be a never ending cycle since Cancer's emotions are always changing from day to day.

You might want them back now b/c you're not yet done but oh boy, what happens when you're finally done with the Cancer & want nothing to do with them? You'll be F out of luck after realizing that nope, they're not going anywhere since you kept persuading them to stick around all that time.

In other words, be careful what you wish for. By the time you can finally get a Cancer to drop their pride & once they've finally been wheeled back in, there's usually no turning back. So if you're not ready for that or if you won't be able to handle that when you're finally done with them & want to be left alone, it's best to just leave them be for good the 1st time. All that back & forth stuff just further complicates things.

Cancers are attracted to the types of relationships that don't force them to be done with someone all in 1 swoop. They like being able to know that persay they had a slight change of heart, that they can wheel themselves back in. They hate standing outside of a door that isn't revolving.

Just leave your Cancer alone. Give her time to sort her feelings & emotions out. When someone is fighting an inner battle between them & themselves, it's best to let them fight it alone. Any outsiders trying to come in & spit logic will just further confuse the process

^^ hahahaha! that is awesome🙂

My situation is a little different... I am a Leo Female... who kick his sorry butt to the curb... the day he disrespeted me. I walked... and have been kicking his butt to the curb for 3 years... now.

Push/Pull... crapola.... He is still trying to contact me.... and I keep on telling him to be a MAN or continue to be a whimp... I won't put up with his crap...

Yes I want him back... but only after he stops the games...

I never minded his disappearing act... In fact for one year.. I found it amusing... until that last day.

I have not seen or spoken to him in 3 friggen years... however we have had nominal communication via text and e-mail... Not my choice... he is still being a little boy... and would not agree to a meeting in a social environment in Jan/09. OH.. yeah.. he would agree to a meeting in his Office... NOT!

OH... How I let him have it... Yes I sent him back to his shell... to think about it some more... I just will not let him walk all over me.

He texted me on xmas day at 9:02 in the morning.... Now I need help... because again he is taking up space in my head again... See the new thread... Taking Back Control.

So although I agree with most of what I been reading... Most of the time... the women here are the one being left out in the cold by their Cancer buddies.... I my case... I left with one of his CLAWS 🙂

Posted by Scubafish
Don't chase a crab with negative emotions (IE... They are mad, frustrated or want some alone time).

The harder you chase them, the further into the sand they burrow.

My advice is to leave them alone when they want their shell time.

Otherwise, you have better odds of winning the lottery than getting them to come back to you.

I agree with the don't chase part... however as long as you are expressing yourself with real emotions, based on facts... Let them have it.... It may make them a better person in the end... Always be prepared to walk away...and stand your ground.

Cancer's live through their emotions/feelings... and if they aren't getting any from you... then they won't be feeling you either. Your not leaving your mark..so to speak.

I say let it out... and then leave them to their shell/sand they burrow in... for awhile to mull things over. Depending on how stubborn they are.. will depend on how long it takes. Right now I'm in Year 3 of Not seeing him... because he is still not ready to give me what I want... which is a real man... not a little boy. I go about my life... not waiting for him... he is the one.. trying to make first contact... but his is still not ready..imo

If you are too sweet and accomodating... they will never see or feel the real you.

In 2007... I had a hoot with my Cancer Guy... just because I never walked on eggshells... and told it the way I saw it... He fell deeply in love with me within 8 months... and I still have a stanglehold on him.. so it seems.

I learnt a lot from my Crab buddy... and one thing was to be yourself at all times... Yes be cute, dress nice, be feminine (Dresses are best), tease him etc... but don't let him fully know how you really feel about him... Show him with action.. or if you say you love them... Say it like its a game as your walking away from them.

OH... BTW... we never had sex... it was just magic... He fell in love with my soul/me.

Now to get him out of wimp mode into Man mode..... That is my current project...

Posted by catin
My situation is a little different... I am a Leo Female... who kick his sorry butt to the curb... the day he disrespeted me. I walked... and have been kicking his butt to the curb for 3 years... now.

Push/Pull... crapola.... He is still trying to contact me.... and I keep on telling him to be a MAN or continue to be a whimp... I won't put up with his crap...

Masculine Leo sign challenging the Feminine Cancer sign to be the Man. I bet that is going well (sarcasm). Cancers generally avoid confrontation. Good luck on getting him to man up. From the sounds of it, he probably figures you are doing enough of that for the both of you.

Posted by domanb

Posted by catin
My situation is a little different... I am a Leo Female... who kick his sorry butt to the curb... the day he disrespeted me. I walked... and have been kicking his butt to the curb for 3 years... now.

Push/Pull... crapola.... He is still trying to contact me.... and I keep on telling him to be a MAN or continue to be a whimp... I won't put up with his crap...

Masculine Leo sign challenging the Feminine Cancer sign to be the Man. I bet that is going well (sarcasm). Cancers generally avoid confrontation. Good luck on getting him to man up. From the sounds of it, he probably figures you are doing enough of that for the both of you.

click to expand

Hey... domanb.... He surely didn't mind my roarrrrr.. in 2007.. He and I were a team to be reckoned with. Because of me... he had to bankrupt one of his companies... before the Gov Police came in and did it for him. Good call.. as he started two other companies which would then deal with the problem they had.... wound down the to be bankrupt company... and salvaged the name... I was very instumental in assisting him in getting it right the second time around.

He referred to me as the Sunshine that came into the Building. Yes I roarred.. a lot.. but he continued to come after me. BTW his birthday is on the cusp of Leo... He also knows how to roarrrrr... He protected me with his life.. on more then one occasion... So although you may be right about the Femine Cancer/Masculine Leo sign... In this case he didn't seem to have a problem with my roaring.... actually he found it very amusing... I stood my ground even with him. 🙂

Now I have nothing to lose... in pushing him to be a better man.... It is not as if... I'm the one calling or trying to make contact for the last 24 months.... Nope - He owns that behavior.... I'm just not biting until he treats me the way I want and deserve to be treated.

Will it be successful...I really don't care either way... I want what I want!... I continue to let him know it in no uncertain terms.