Please please help!

Okay This may be long so here goes....
Me and my cancer are Tree trunk buddies. I am a 27 year old leo woman and he is 21 years young. Almost every night for the past two months he comes over to chill, watch movies, and stuff we hang out quite at least 2-3 times out of the week after his shift . The sex is awesome between us. Very passionate and sensual, I've never had a connection like this with any man before. When he wants to he can be very kind but 75% of the time he's a big asshole like most cancer men. Even though he constantly claims he only want to be FWB, his actions do not match up with what he is saying. Sometimes we cuddle, kiss, we never used a condom anymore, and basically every FWB rule there is we've broken. Last night he kept saying we'll never be in a relationship like he has to remind me all the time but it seems like he needs to remind himself. He even once admitted to me that he chooses to be mean because he don't want either once of us to catch feeling which is stupid. 90% of the time I have to text him first but he will text me back and he will carry on conversation (maybe cause he's bored) and he does answer my phone calls. He never calls me unless he is calling to say he is outside. We never go on dates but we have been on one before and had once planned for this weekend but money is funny so we probably won't go out... Also last night I was trying to get him to open up to me and he flat out told me that he wasn't going to do that because he don't have feelings towards me like that and I told him he could still open up to me as a friend but he refuses. Lastly, he threw out a suggestion of moving in with me(still lives with his mom, "mama's boy" which most cancer men are) Why would do you think he would want to move in with me he saying he don't wanna get attached and this and that but he is a walking contradiction. (I also have 3 kids.) I also told him it was ass backwards that he wants to move in but not open up to one another and establish trust and he responded by saying he was an ass backwards individual. I was told by a male friend that as an older woman I can mold and make him the way I want him to be but I highly doubt that shit lol anyway. What do you all think? How do I approach this situation properly? Does he care for me at all? Should I leave him alone? Continue to be friends but fall back?Am I crazy for thinking he cares? He also revealed to me last night that he got another girls number yesterday so I really dont kno

getoutnow. you have three children...four if you count him. cancer or not, he's a dick and he'll use the whole 'i told you i didn't want anything more' the moment things get nasty. this guy is a complete jackass. and moving in with you is just so he can selfishly escape his mom's only to be taken care of by someone else (that he gets to sleep with).

Posted by Jynja
Wow, you lions...

So, how do you feel about him moving in? It seems he's trying everything under the sun not to fall for you, but it might be a lost cause.
You do have 3 kids at 27, though, so unless you want to feed another mouth, I say tell him you have responsibilities and don't need assbackwards influence for your kids. Unless he's ready to man up and be responsible, he can't move in.

Your relationship dynamics are interesting. Both of you are fearful to fall in love.

And no, your friend lied to you, that man is grown ass and has a cock to fuck you with. You can't mold him - sorry.

Thank you so much 4 the positive info and advice. I think a lot has to do with him being young so he don't know what he want or need right now. Please excuse the many typo's (I am not perfect) It's interesting that you say he's trying not to fall for me. How can I crack his shell being nice doesn't work and he seems to reject any good compliments. And trust me I won't be feeding nobody else I don't have time for it!

why do you want to bother cracking his shell? sorry but i don't understand the appeal of this man at all.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
why do you want to bother cracking his shell? sorry but i don't understand the appeal of this man at all.

It's hard I really like him and even though we are just FWB it's not the sex that makes me fall for him. I was very interested in him way before the sex. The last Topic I posted you were very critical with your advice/opinion... I was afraid you were going to comment... but it's okay because I'm going to begin distancing myself today because as much as he says what he doesn't he is displaying otherwise. I think we are getting too comfortable ugh #confused

Also what I think he has a lot of self esteem issues he thinks he is ugly but when he is clearly attractive and charismatic despite his ugly attitude. Recently, I was reading some things on friends with benefits and lots of people always say that friends with benefits don't work or it could never be a relationship but I think when you have sex with someone everyday the more feelings get attached. In my opinion in order for women to have sex they have to be feeling the guy but for men they don't have to be feeling the woman. Furthermore, I feel like for both parties to have sex with one another there is some degree of trust because you are trusting this person with your body.(especially unprotected) when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the relationship. When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond or chemical bonding if you will -- the more sex, the greater the bond. anywho I'm done ranting... lol

Do u want a relationship or u want to just fuck? What do u want from him? If u are going to fwb then expect him to stay in his shell. Don't ask for no more then ass. I think he cares for u but don't want to be hurt cause he get vibes that u just want sex and fun. I also think he spot that u don't no what u want from this thing yaw have going on. i think u should stop back and keep it on a fun or fwb level atleast until u no what u want first ,that what really matter.

Posted by ecent
Do u want a relationship or u want to just fuck? What do u want from him? If u are going to fwb then expect him to stay in his shell. Don't ask for no more then ass. I think he cares for u but don't want to be hurt cause he get vibes that u just want sex and fun. I also think he spot that u don't no what u want from this thing yaw have going on. i think u should stop back and keep it on a fun or fwb level atleast until u no what u want first ,that what really matter.

Honestly and truthfully speaking I want him. I'm falling hard but I understand our relationship/friendship and I'm trying to accept it. I guess I'm settling... I would love to be with him once he matures a lot more and is more stable financially but the fact that i have three kids.... he aint ready for all that. He knows that I like him because he keeps trying to say things like this isn't a relationship blah blah blah. But if he actually sits back and think about it we might as well be because we've broken every single FWB rule and he spends almost all his time with me on a frequent and steady basis. I cook for him sometimes but very seldom. Last night he kept trying to explain himself saying things like "I ain't texting" and "I'm just checking my facebook." but if we just fuck partners why explain yourself to me.... Then what really threw me off was when he was like "lets take a picture and upload it 2 facebook and tag me." just why why why? anyway sorry for being long winded it's in my leo nature lol

Well well, it seems both you and I have the same problem !! Why don't you read my SophiaGem posts x

There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Posted by incandescentcancer
There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Incandescent Hi

Do you think the same of my situation ??x

Posted by Leoflow88
Also what I think he has a lot of self esteem issues he thinks he is ugly but when he is clearly attractive and charismatic despite his ugly attitude. Recently, I was reading some things on friends with benefits and lots of people always say that friends with benefits don't work or it could never be a relationship but I think when you have sex with someone everyday the more feelings get attached. In my opinion in order for women to have sex they have to be feeling the guy but for men they don't have to be feeling the woman. Furthermore, I feel like for both parties to have sex with one another there is some degree of trust because you are trusting this person with your body.(especially unprotected) when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the relationship. When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond or chemical bonding if you will -- the more sex, the greater the bond. anywho I'm done ranting... lol

i'm sorry if i may have been harshly critical before. probs time of the month, lol.

anyhow. i've had a fwb arrangement before that was purely about the physical. i wouldn't have embarked on it if it wasn't for the fact that i really liked the guy and found him very attractive but had no desire for a relationship with him and vice versa. it all kinda trailed off after a year or so but we're still friends. it was a 'stop gap' for me as i'd just come out of a long marriage and for him, it was more of a cultural thing as he was already with his childhood sweetheart and it's common in spain for men to take mistresses or visit brothels when they're married. it's a kinda unspoken deal really. they absolutely won't leave their partners though no matter how great the sex they're getting outside it.

anyhow. my point is that i don't think there is any trust necessary for fwb's. it doesn't go any deeper than the physical...you're more concerned with them being clean and being careful than you are what they're gonna think of you in the morning, lol.

you're trying to use sex as a bargaining tool with this guy but they really can have sex with someone day in, day out and have absolutely no regard for them at all. if you stop seeing him altogether, he'll probs miss the sex but he won't miss you personally.

i have a very masculine view of sex - mars in leo - and what you say abut the oxytocin release a

....what you say about the oxytocin release is true and it does feel like you're very emotionally close to someone after orgasm but it's only for those moments. i've yet to carry that feeling through to a relationship. i suspect the same is true with him.

Posted by incandescentcancer
There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Incandescentcancer... I'm sorry to inform you that you are way off here honey. Just because it appears that I'm "playing the fool" doesn't mean I am an idiot! My tubes are tied and even if that did happen (which it won't) he would not "take off". I thought you would be able to give me better advice than this (you being a cancer man and all) something a little more solid and in depth. Not some crabby ass comment.... No pun intended lol

Posted by Leoflow88

Posted by incandescentcancer
There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Incandescentcancer... I'm sorry to inform you that you are way off here honey. Just because it appears that I'm "playing the fool" doesn't mean I am an idiot! My tubes are tied and even if that did happen (which it won't) he would not "take off". I thought you would be able to give me better advice than this (you being a cancer man and all) something a little more solid and in depth. Not some crabby ass comment.... No pun intended lol

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That was not a "crabby ass" comment. When your story has no depth why should my response have any? If you only want to hear what you want to hear then I can tell you that this is an epic love story putting Romeo and Juliet to shame. If you want a dose of reality then read what I posted earlier again. I guarantee you that he will take off. His perception simply will be that you're a 27 year old woman clinging to a 21 year old young lad.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
....what you say about the oxytocin release is true and it does feel like you're very emotionally close to someone after orgasm but it's only for those moments. i've yet to carry that feeling through to a relationship. i suspect the same is true with him.

It's a shame he doesn't feel the same way as me... I wish things were different. I still wonder why the hell he wants to move in or even suggested it in the first place... maybe to use me or some crap ugh!

Posted by LeoVirgoGirl
(This is not an insult but an observation)
You are punishing yourself for something and you need to see a psychiatrist.
If you don't really care what happens to you please note that it ddoes effect your children.

Please elaborate! Why would I be punishing myself— You make me want to call a psychiatrist right now... 😢

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by Leoflow88

Posted by incandescentcancer
There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Incandescentcancer... I'm sorry to inform you that you are way off here honey. Just because it appears that I'm "playing the fool" doesn't mean I am an idiot! My tubes are tied and even if that did happen (which it won't) he would not "take off". I thought you would be able to give me better advice than this (you being a cancer man and all) something a little more solid and in depth. Not some crabby ass comment.... No pun intended lol

That was not a "crabby ass" comment. When your story has no depth why should my response have any? If you only want to hear what you want to hear then I can tell you that this is an epic love story putting Romeo and Juliet to shame. If you want a dose of reality then read what I posted earlier again. I guarantee you that he will take off. His perception simply will be that you're a 27 year old woman clinging to a 21 year old young lad.

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No I don't want you to just say what I want to hear... I think I need professional help :/

Posted by Leoflow88

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by Leoflow88

Posted by incandescentcancer
There is no chance of a relationship here, at best he will get you pregnant with your 4th child and then take off.

Incandescentcancer... I'm sorry to inform you that you are way off here honey. Just because it appears that I'm "playing the fool" doesn't mean I am an idiot! My tubes are tied and even if that did happen (which it won't) he would not "take off". I thought you would be able to give me better advice than this (you being a cancer man and all) something a little more solid and in depth. Not some crabby ass comment.... No pun intended lol

That was not a "crabby ass" comment. When your story has no depth why should my response have any? If you only want to hear what you want to hear then I can tell you that this is an epic love story putting Romeo and Juliet to shame. If you want a dose of reality then read what I posted earlier again. I guarantee you that he will take off. His perception simply will be that you're a 27 year old woman clinging to a 21 year old young lad.

No I don't want you to just say what I want to hear... I think I need professional help :/

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I don't want to hurt your feelings. I might sound harsh but my point is you should drop this guy and move on. He doesn't love you, he is just getting free housing and sex from you, it's not worth your while! Find a guy who is more supportive and mature.

Please open your eyes and see that he isn't offering you anything. This isn't just about Cancer men, but with any guy, regardless of age, take what he is offering "at the moment" at face value. Do not first take him in and then hope it would mature into a relationship. And you have kids, where do you think the relationship will take you? A cancer-leo relationship can be a beautiful thing if on equal grounds of love, however if not, it can be unbelievably emotionally draining and both the signs possess the power to destroy each other emotionally. You are ALREADY emotionally vested, and are defending it with all your orgasm theory.

Please do not "assume" he feels the same way unless he says it. If he is scared of saying it, then wait until he does. Let him offer you things on an equal ground, don't go all out in the hope he will start giving things in return. You have to be a little more practical here, he is infact younger, do you think he will not leave tomorrow if you guys have fights? Would it not effect how you run your family? And what if you fall deeply in love with him and he walks out saying it's too much for him too handle? You'll have the strength to take care of your children in that emotionally broken state? He prolly does care for you but he's too young to feel responsible for anything. What will make him stay when the weather gets rough?

Let him realize if he wants you for anything more than sex. If he does, he will resurface and he will TELL YOU. Even if he does that, my advice to is drop this while you still can. Find some mature, stable and somewhere your age who will give you strength to take care of three lovely kids!!

Keep on Writing LeoFlow your a creative writer and making me laugh this morning. I didn't know what I wanted out of the world at 21. I probably was very insucure and doubtful of relationships. I didn't start getting into sexual accounters till I was 18. All my relationships seem to blance on chaos and stability at the same time. Venus opposite Saturn.


"Giving and receiving love are not flowing and natural for people born with Venus in hard aspect to Saturn. Blockages are experienced, and love relationships may be a source of frustration as a result, until the natives learn to love themselves, and to feel worthy of love from others. Duty is often associated with love, and some might find themselves stuck in a loveless marriage, for example. Especially in youth, these people might feel awkward in some social situations, unsure of how to express affections, and fearful of rejection. Problematic Saturn positions often get better with age, experience, and practice, however! In its more negative expression, some people with this position learn to scheme in order to get what they want from a partner, or they might treat partnerships as if they were businesses."

"These aspects can make natives especially sensitive to "cues" that suggest they are not loved or rejected in some way. People with Venus-Saturn in hard aspect can often "expect" rejection in issues of love and care, whether they are conscious of this tendency or not. This can often lead to negative situations in love -- and bad timing or the feeling of having "bad luck" in relationships."

Do you have the charts of both of you? Maybe theres Moon/Saturn issues in your Cancer.

Wow... He's confused n is projecting this hard on you...

You can't blame the guy though, hes only 21....

No manners
No money
No home
No me

Run Leo ruuuuuun!!!! You can do sooo much better.

Posted by ellessque
LMAO

I read this....

"I am a 27 year old leo woman and he is 21 years young."

like this.....

"I am a 27 year old leo woman and he is 21 years younger."

THAT was a WTF moment FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😛

Hahahaha

^ Why, Are you dating a 6 year old?

this kid isn't confused...he's got his cake & he's eating the shit out of it. it's all for him. he gets everything and doesn't have to give much in return other than a few fleeting moments of intimacy. you're enabling his shitty behavior. don't sell yourself short. you deserve better. crumbs are for pigeons, not people, so stop eating them!!

Posted by wineauxisback
this kid isn't confused...he's got his cake & he's eating the shit out of it. it's all for him. he gets everything and doesn't have to give much in return other than a few fleeting moments of intimacy. you're enabling his shitty behavior. don't sell yourself short. you deserve better. crumbs are for pigeons, not people, so stop eating them!!

+1 billion.

Posted by LeoVirgoGirl

Posted by virgodreamz
^ Why, Are you dating a 6 year old?

No but there is a reason why she is doing this to herself.

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Oh yeah her situation is not funny I was laughing at Elle's misreading the age difference.

I personally hope she decides to put herself before her attachment to the guy.

Thank you all for your advice I left him alone!

jnyja...now you can see why i say and what i say about leo women..so many topics of them letting them get used by cancer men sprouting up..you cant deny it now! but i know you would 😛

I saw FWB and got inspired by this song: 😄

When you leave me
The bed is empty
And I feel crazy
'Cause I didn't say anything
I wish you would tell me
How you really feel
But you'll never tell me
'Cause that's not our deal

When you leave me
You take away everything
You take all my money
You take all my weed
I wish you would tell me
How you really feel
But you'll never tell me
'Cause that's not our deal