Saw my cancer boy this weekend

I went to his house but through his roommate again we sat on his bed and had conversation he asked me if I came to to his house to hang out with him or if I came to hang with my friends and his roommate I asked which one does he think? He said the second one I told him no I came for him he was really happy after that we were laughing talking having fun he held me and started touching me all over slowly kissing my neck perfect my friends kept interupting and knocking on the door so we were both annoyed he told me he wanted me to stay the night I couldnt because I had to take my friends home I felt like we were being rushed and i wasnt in a sexual mood so when we tried to have sex it wasn't working he couldn't get it in we've done it before so idk y it wasn't working he doesn't know that I've only had sex with 2 guys in my whole life including him I don't want him to know because then he'll know how much I like him. Anyway it was awkward after that but I was the one making it awkward I just felt bad and he kept telling me its alright and he doesnt care he just held me and I told him I had to go he told me to come back and told me he would text me the week after next all in all he was in a very good mood this weekend maybe it was the moon? Well see if he really contacts me next next week i dunno if i believe him he might shell away from me but well see le sigh.

@wineaux thank you for the advice youve been giving me lately it really helps

and yea I know I shouldnt have tried to sex with him if I wasnt in the mood but it was like I wanted to but my body didnt want to like my body and brain didnt want to do the same thing and he is a bit rough I was telling him to be more gentle but i dunno I dont think he has allot of sexual experience or something and I felt rushed and I hate being rushed and I could tell he was trying to rush because of my friends it was all bad and wow I didnt know that if he felt my insecurity that would make him run I thought Cancers like that sort of thing becuase Ive read they want you to need them but thanks for the advice I will try and not be so weird next time. I was being more open about my feelings than I usually am and I noticed it made him feel better like he wasnt so paranoid as he usually is. and yes you hit it right on the nose we rarely see eachother its usually like ever 2 months sometimes even 4 months pass by and when I dont see him for a long time I get over him but its almost like im angry at him so the last time I saw him after 4 months I was being a bitch towards him because I felt like I havent seen you in 4 months and im over you and you just wanna pick up where we left off? hells no so I just completely ignored him it didnt go over very well because I could tell it really affected him he was so hurt it looked like he was going to cry I felt so bad. Im used to guys not giving a fuck or atleast ask me whats wrong I didnt think it was going to hurt him that much. So then after that he was all I could think about and I fell right back into the same hole. I dont know if Ive mentioned this he also has a girlfriend but its a long distance relationship she lives really far away. He told me they have an open relationship their allowed to hook up with other ppl because their both so young and they want to be realistic. It gets me so angry sometimes I dont understand why he would pick a girl that lives so far away when im right here on front of him.he was in a relationship b4 he met me and him and His girlfriend have only known eachother a year she is from his hometown near his family so Im wondering if maybe that plays a part to the fact that shes from his hometown so close to where he grew up maybe hes clinging on to that?

I know it sounds really bad that he has a girlfriend ive tried to stop liking him like honest to god stop but Im just going to start being honest with myself and stop fighting myself because ive been making myself crazy sometimes I feel like hes just using me for physical things because he is missing that within his relationship but idk it does seem like he genuinely likes me its just hard for me to really let down all of my walls and my guards when I know he has a girl you know? When we first had sex he told me I couldnt tell anyone because he didnt want his girlfriend to find out because their only allowed to hookup not have sex I was so hurt but I really wanted to do it so I did it and afterwards HE was the one freaking out he started asking me a bunch of questions omg are you still going to talk to me? are you going to get all weird on me? can we still be friends? I felt like ok if he didnt like me he wouldnt even care about all these things I told him yes Ill continue to be your friend because I always thought the whole time the only reason you were even talking to me is because you wanted to have sex with me. "OMG why would you say that?" "Omg now I feel bad now" " Why would you say that your so mean" I literally had to calm him down and tell him that I will continue to be his friend and not to worry about it. I know that if I guy doesnt give a shit about you he wouldnt care about little things like that sometimes I feel like hes falling for me but he might never be honest with himself because hes going to stay loyal to his girlfriend idk its all too much. I know this could either end very badly or maybe something good may come out of it? wahh!

@Ariesgirlonfire trust me MY boyfriend is a cancer and he is SPRUNG. you can tell when a cancer
loves you and this guy seems like the guy that my boyfriend used to be before i came in the picture.
So i would ask him to tell me about his fuck buddy but he wouldn't really want to talk about it, and when i would
get some words out of him he would laugh about what dumb stuff he would make his sex buddy. he said she was falling
in love with him and when he noticed it he would try to keep a distance to kinda hint the idea. =/ yea ...sorry.
[don't trust this cancer TRUST ME] he may care about you but he will NEVER love you and respect you as a GIRLFRIEND.
when he told you to not tell anyone abt the sex that already straight out tells you he only wants to have a good time (sex,or w.e)

Look you are a aries, I'm not saying you aren't nice i mean honestly aries are NICE people

Thanks to everyone for your honest feedback I appreciate it.

and wow just because im an Aries it makes me a sex weapon? kewl lolol i love that! I'll take that as a compliment 🙂
We only see eachother a few months because I always hang out with my friends on the weekends and yes I do like him allot but Im still single so I still try and go out and enjoy myself we both have the same friends the problem is he never goes out hes the ultimate homebody Everytime I text him to see if hes going out hes always staying at home.And he lives far away from me so its a mission and the times that I do go to his house its because his roommate who is one of the friends I party with invites me and my friends to party at their place. I never thought of asking him myself to come over because I dont want him to know that I like him at all I know that sounds dumb so yea he doesnt even know I like him he actually thinks he likes me more than I like him.He shows his feelings more than I show mines. The last time we hung out was the first time we actually talked about our hanging situations he wants to hang more I asked him why doesnt he invite me over ever then? he says because hes a boring guy and all he does is sit in his room and stay on his computer I told him I didnt mind. he was very surprised because he sees me as someone who wants to be where all the action is and I do go out allot so I think he was flattered that I was down to hang with him on the weekend. he told me he would text me next next week so well see this is a little tiny step for us. I dont know how much he likes me we dont have deep conversations or anything we just have fun together and laugh allot we have weird conversations lots of inside jokes we have the same sense of humor He gets jealous when I talk to other dudes like it annoys him and I get mad when he talks to other girls also Im very possesive but he likes that
im possesive he doesnt find it annoying as other guys would especially a guy with a girlfriend. He doesnt really bring her up except for the time when he told me he had a girlfriend and when we were gonna have sex that one time which was the ONLY time weve ever had sex. He stares at me allot but their like these deep intense stares nobody has ever looked at me like that in my whole life. and he didnt care that I wasnt able to have sex that one night I was the one who made it awkward and it was because this wasnt the first time that has happened to me.

Sometimes I get so nervous when Im with a guy I really like that I just have so much nerves that I cant get wet has this happened to anyone before? well it happened before with this Libra guy and he basically yelled at me and told me that I wasted his condom and I cried and cried for days about it so I was alittle tramautized when it happened with my Cancer boy and the fact that my Cancer didnt care made me even sadder in a way because he was just showing me what more of an amazing guy he is he just wanted me to hold him and we just talked he didnt even care that we couldn't have sex I mean I dont know maybe he does just see me as a fuck buddy or whatever but I cant help the way I feel about him.

@Ariesgirlonfire he's into you I can tell by his body language. It's just very difficult and I think you need to try to find some alone time with him. Sleepover his house and make sure you don't invite annoying fat friends to cockblock you

@Scorpemoon7 lololol oh haii girl yes youve actually gotten to see him and me in action in real life so you know wussuupp and yes Im going to go to his house alone next time for the FIRST time super nervous its a lowkey step for us no fat cock blocksss allowed.

@lovingcan69 wahh I dont like fire signs their too mean! if anything I would go for a gemini 8)

im an Aries Sun, Scorpio Rising, Aquarius Moon btw