Scorpio needs help with two cancerians (pt.1)

Well I guess I'm going to have to do this in two posts.

I've noticed over the years that that cancer is pretty much only sign I have a hard time really opening up to, and that's also why I know they're the most special. I have a gemini rising which I think works against me with cancers, too much small talk and also makes 'making the leap' especially hard. It's been eating up at me which drove me to eventually find something like this forum and talk about it. I'm now in between two, one is in the past and another I'm talking to now that could be the future. It pretty much took another cancerian to at least equalize the first, but not necessarily break the spell yet.

Cancerian 1) how to regain a cancer girl's trust once shes crawled in her shell and she's shut everyone out? (not just me)

Cap moon, venus in cancer, mars in scorp. This happened 3 years ago and we were only acquainted for about 2-3 weeks but I feel strongly that I missed my serendipity moment with her. We were too flirty too fast without ever really getting to know her and when things went south there wasn't much of a friendship to fall back on. However since then she's done to me what every girl wishes she could to their guy, no matter who I'm with or who I date I keep wishing it was her! During that brief period though, especially in the first week I could not find any other girls attractive and knew what it felt like to not want for anything else 🙂 Longer term tho, our lives have little in common and we would have needed some compromise.

I didn't understand cancers very well back then and wasn't very experienced dating wise, I focused too much on trying to not be in the friend zone and was too sexual to begin with. Even though I could actually read and feel her moods pretty well, I ignored the signs and acted like nothing was wrong. In the end she didn't feel safe or comfortable with me anymore and a lot of trust and chemistry was broken. I'll admit this was mostly my fault. I could tell that she did feel a bit sad for me, and I did see her again just before I left some years later, literally chased after her to catch her across a supermarket! and asked her to wait for me to finish up paying which she did. She could have easily left if she hated seeing me or talking to me again but as she was with a friend I kept it casual and gave her my number to reconnect. I suspect however she also wanted intense feelings and casual drove her away.

Just to add. It isn't easy to reconnect with her since I now live on the other side of the country, and am generally happier in this part than I was before but moving here didn't really help me get over her and I am looking at an even further move in the future. She did know I was leaving but at the time things were still a bit up in the air as to the date so might have missed each other on that alone. I did tell myself however that if she didn't call in time I would just move on and that hasn't really worked out 😉

Part 2

Cancerian 2) Is too much small talk, and at least for now keeping things at a distance temporarily because of work/life hurtful to a cancer girl?

Moon, Venus, Mars all in Leo!! This one chatted me on facebook and we have a lot more in common in life, interests than the first but we're in different countries (but somewhat close to where I could be moving to) and felt that instant connection straight away but there is a double case of reticence here on my part from both the cancer thing and also afraid of jumping into something that is only perceived online and not real. We do talk for ages usually when we do talk but it's a very busy period in my life right now where I *have* to keep her away. I'm posting here about it mainly because I see history repeating itself. I can sort of sense that she is getting frustrated with the drip feed attention (the best I can do just so she knows she's in my thoughts) and because of the distance I think she doesn't exactly trust my saying why I have to keep her away for now. Sort of feel like whenever I do have to do a brief "hit and run" talk it's making things worse instead of better plus, we're in that limbo zone where things might need to go further. Anyway.. things are a lot smoother with this one due to my experience with the first, the moodiness is more familiar and I am making sure that we at least have a friendship foundation first before really moving forward but this one is a lot more outgoing and less protective of herself than the first even though the first became a model while I was dating her lol.

Lastly, Myself
Scorp sun, moon pisces, gemini rising, venus libra, mars sag.

uhh yeah 😛 otherwise I wouldn't have gone to this much effort.

Like I said, i'm looking for some input from others on how to repair things with the first girl so at least I'll some closure/answers and also how to not screw things up with the second one 😛 We haven't met each other in person yet and I've got enough experience now to not put too much stock in things until that happens. But yeah... the first girl still has quite a hold on me. There was unbelievable chemistry that I screwed up.

U have to seek closure within u. Sometimes in life, u dont get closure.

If u feel that sorry u should express these feelings to person you've hurt and maybe u will feel better.

I'd love to but it's a case of getting her out of her shell first, but it also coincided with the model thing unfortunately which means she had to put up with all kinds of crap from a million guys which compounded the trust issue.

Anyway.. it has been awhile, and she didn't seem to hate me but she was still quite private and guarded. Now I understand enough to take it very slow, but I have noticed you guys all mostly do the same thing.. close up and retreat, moody etc. How does someone coax you out to make amends? or is it basically just time and healing? Both our signs have a hard time forgiving which is why I know enough to ask for help 😛

Yea once that trust is broken...its hard to get it back.

Buy her something, write her note, TELL HER YOU'RE SORRY! I bet if she knew you felt this way she would open more.

There is no real formula really, we observe you with friends, the way you communicate with other people. Scorpio has the ability to open us up.

Also, maybe she is not interested anymore and can probably feel that vibe from you so she still guarded.....Showing real interest in her from a genuine and honest stand point will get you back in good graces.

Buying her something nice would help too to show that you really care. Words are just that words...actions speaks volumes.

Wow actually all this time I never thought of that. I actually got acquainted with boss awhile back and a few other girls from her agency but I didn't want to reach out through them since it would be too stalkerly, but instead of calling there I could definitely have something delivered that would probably have all other girls jealous too lol. That was actually quite a big help. I'm utterly hopeless when it comes to her lol, and even after meeting another cancer that clicks she's still the that just leaves me with no idea what to say and completely lose my shit.

We both had some growing to do at the time too and hopefully it's been positive for her as well.. it did take me literally years to process the feelings + what had happened and my own conflict on whether to let her go, how irrational it all was bla bla, and yeah enough courage now to not even care if she's even reading this or not.

I'll be back next month when I can and probably make another thread to get feedback on the note I'll be leaving her lol. It's still tough for me now confess my feelings especially after such a long time, which leads back to the casual thing i.e. the thing I fear is the thing she and other cancers are waiting for I guess?