Should I give him the kitty—

In a nutshell.....

Typical scorp/cancer union , deep instant connection, love @ 1st sight all the good stuff, after a couple months he pushes me away (i believe he was falling quick and hard, not sure if I felt same way)

Back and forth exchanges, on and off communication over the last 15 months, havent seen each other in about 15 months, he has plans to invite me over for dinner and wine in the near future.

It started as a fwb connection....

does "staying the girl he fell in love" with also mean giving him the kitty?
If I didnt give him the kitty persay would it be good to at least...."help" him get to that happy place 😉 lol

If I told him no sex soon would it be wrong or cruel of me to still be very flirty, affectionate, passionate kissing etc?

Thanks in advance!

thats tough, i would not send any mixed signals. That would bother me and compromise our relationship, seems you have been dealing above you should continue to do so

If he didn't earn it, he shouldn't get it!

I think you should definitely give it up to him.

Posted by rudescorpscorp01

does "staying the girl he fell in love" with also mean giving him the kitty?

Not sure what did you mean there.

Posted by rudescorpscorp01
If I didnt give him the kitty persay would it be good to at least...."help" him get to that happy place 😉 lol

I wouldn't recommend it. Neither of you will be in control and you will find yourself in a sticky situation. (Pun intended)

Posted by rudescorpscorp01
If I told him no sex soon would it be wrong or cruel of me to still be very flirty, affectionate, passionate kissing etc?

click to expand

Yes.

Posted by Crabmoon
If you were FWB, I guess it is normal to give him the kitty isn't it?
I'm list in your request( question ) if there is no feelings involved why do you care?

there are feelings involved

Posted by aurora
If you are not feeling comfortable with "giving him a kitty", than just don't do it. If you are also thinking that "giving him a kitty" is some kind of favor women do for men, than I would strongly recommend you to not have sex at all, with anyone.

I can't quite understand you with the flirty part, but it sounded like you asked: is it cruel to be a cock teaser? Well it can cause him some pain, but that's the least bad thing with it. The word cruel confused me, and the fact that you are planning so much.

Since when are you in fwb situation? I understood you haven't seen each other for 15 months. Go to that dinner, don't plan anything and see how it will develop.

When we first met last spring we started as fwb

A couple months later he did the shelling thing.

After being fed up of being pushed away I told him we need to talk face to face about things....this is like month 3.

Since then its been contact through text we havent seen each other. Good and bad exchanges.

I really can't understand why people don't just fuck, be friends and live comfortably. What is the need for all this drama...

Posted by incandescentcancer
I think you should definitely give it up to him.

lol 🙂 , thx....ive seen a couple of post around here and u seem to be a big fan of getting it in, like my Cancer guy too...

how would u feel about this....

"Regarding sex, should we move foward after tonight....sometimes not every time, sometimes somethings not everything. I want to feel going forward your only motivation for contacting me isn't only about sex, and feel that you do possibly see something more serious than that "friends" with benefits connection down the line. And based on our previous encounters and conversations we've had it's fair to say you would want to feel the same way too and feel that your **** isn't all I care about, Im here to take care of the long time happiness of your heart primarily.

With that said, long term, short term I love seeing you happy and short term I know getting this body makes u happy(and u know i love getting it in with u too 😉 )

I can understand how this proposal make come off as teasing to you, and will completely be understanding if you want to refuse at the risk of feeling hurt and confused down the line, but for me this is a compromise.

I'll also still stay the night if u want, if u feel this causes confusion as well thats ok too."

Posted by Fire-Water
thats tough, i would not send any mixed signals. That would bother me and compromise our relationship, seems you have been dealing above you should continue to do so

thanks! i hear u. and just because I asked the above question doesnt mean i wasnt hearing u out, just feel that every man is different and need to do what i feel is best in my situation with my guy.

I'll be very appreciative to a response from you for the proposal i just posted in response to incadesentcancer 🙂

Posted by rudescorpscorp01

Posted by incandescentcancer
I think you should definitely give it up to him.

lol 🙂 , thx....ive seen a couple of post around here and u seem to be a big fan of getting it in, like my Cancer guy too...

how would u feel about this....

"Regarding sex, should we move foward after tonight....sometimes not every time, sometimes somethings not everything. I want to feel going forward your only motivation for contacting me isn't only about sex, and feel that you do possibly see something more serious than that "friends" with benefits connection down the line. And based on our previous encounters and conversations we've had it's fair to say you would want to feel the same way too and feel that your **** isn't all I care about, Im here to take care of the long time happiness of your heart primarily.

With that said, long term, short term I love seeing you happy and short term I know getting this body makes u happy(and u know i love getting it in with u too 😉 )

I can understand how this proposal make come off as teasing to you, and will completely be understanding if you want to refuse at the risk of feeling hurt and confused down the line, but for me this is a compromise.

I'll also still stay the night if u want, if u feel this causes confusion as well thats ok too."

click to expand

Hold on, back up, you want to tell him all this before you do it?

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by rudescorpscorp01

Posted by incandescentcancer
I think you should definitely give it up to him.

lol 🙂 , thx....ive seen a couple of post around here and u seem to be a big fan of getting it in, like my Cancer guy too...

how would u feel about this....

"Regarding sex, should we move foward after tonight....sometimes not every time, sometimes somethings not everything. I want to feel going forward your only motivation for contacting me isn't only about sex, and feel that you do possibly see something more serious than that "friends" with benefits connection down the line. And based on our previous encounters and conversations we've had it's fair to say you would want to feel the same way too and feel that your **** isn't all I care about, Im here to take care of the long time happiness of your heart primarily.

With that said, long term, short term I love seeing you happy and short term I know getting this body makes u happy(and u know i love getting it in with u too 😉 )

I can understand how this proposal make come off as teasing to you, and will completely be understanding if you want to refuse at the risk of feeling hurt and confused down the line, but for me this is a compromise.

I'll also still stay the night if u want, if u feel this causes confusion as well thats ok too."

Hold on, back up, you want to tell him all this before you do it?

click to expand

Yes, and still not sure if i want to do it

Posted by rudescorpscorp01


Yes, and still not sure if i want to do it

Why do you need to have this conversation? Sex doesn't diminish you, the power you have is the same before and after....I think relationships go bad because women have this feeling they have been conquered if they give it up. Hell, it's just sex...think of it like this, you did him and you don't want him anymore. Now who is diminished, you or him? I think you should do him if you want to and for no other reason....that's it. If you give him that lecture before you do it, he won't be there anymore...I promise you that. Address your own fears first....this really doesn't have much to do with him.

If you are going to let internet strangers decide then it's really not that important to you is it?

A better question would be "if it were you would you give it up?" Nobody on here should really feel comfortable telling you to do this. It is your body and ultimately your decision.

If you are having the slightest bit of hesitation as indicated by this post then ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm probably not.