So my cancer comes back...

Let me first mention that I am a cancer and so is my boyfriend.

Ok about a week ago, I decided to leave my boyfriend due to some really big and crazy issues that him and I was having. To me he seemed very insensitive to my feelings, he'd always walk around with this nochalant attitude. And it just came to the point where I couldn't take it anymore it seem to me it was not going to go anywhere. We were not on the same level as far as feelings, I loved him while he claims he was falling in love with me but his actions showed me different. Ok so I decided to change my cell phone number, erase my e-mail address so he wouldn't have a way to contact me. Now me being naive, me and his mom are really close and I decided to give her my number not thinking that he would even know she had it or that she would even give it to him.
So early sunday morning, around 5 in the morning(I'm sleeping), he was calling my phone non stop (blocking the number and then showing the number countless amount of times) until I finally answered asking why is he calling me, I didn't give him permission. So to make a long conversation short, we spoke until about 6:30 am and he basically was calling to apologize and to tell me he wanted to work it out (knowing he has ways that he's willing to change) and that he was upset that he let me go, and that I was a big part of his life and that he missed me a lot; he seemed so sinceere and he never seem to be the one to express feelings. Ok so I decided that I would take him back discussing what needed to be done. Now that he has me again, we hardly talk on the phone. And it's so amazing how I was okay when I left him although I was missing him I had the strength not to call, but now that he calls my mind totally shifts back to him and our relationship. So now what? I have no idea what's going to happen, we hadn't seen eachother yet, his phone calls to me are basically slim to none. I'm just hoping this time around he's serious and that I don't have regrets one day that I even picked up the phone when he called. Now I miss him so much I want to see him, but I'm sitting back to see what he's going to do to prove to me that he wants to be with me, so I haven't expressed these feelings to him. What's going on here? I wonder if he's really going to work this out or if I am just convenient. What shall I do?

that sounds romantic...

you cry cause' he's stiff
he regrets, and calls back
you guys o back together
You're alittle bit scared he might hurt you
he's a little bit scared you might leave him.

awwwww

Yea that sounds about right. I am scared that this time around he may hurt me. But I am willing to give him a chance, because I do love him and hope that one day we can have that strong love between us. But I just want to know what do I do now. I was so strong last week, and now that he called I became week. I look at my phone just to see if he called and he doesn't. He doesn't have a cell phone, so I would call his home phone and I don't get an answer. I just want to know if he's really back for real, and what's going to happen. What shall I do?

It's ok to feel weak.
When you feel a little bit cold, wanna get hug, snuggle with your self, shake and speak outloud for no reason.

Just give it comes time 🙂

Damn, I had typed so much great advice! Dum dum dummmm a slip of the finger and I lose everything! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy *throws arms up in the air and falls on knees*

In short, men initiate and seek out... women do not... don't seek him out and let him come to you...

Give it some time...

Be happy and enjoy your time with him...

No outpouring of emotions... aknowledge and appreciate any nice gestures but don't go overboard... he should do it more often... keep your affection in check... remember to be happy...

Don't dwell on it and don't spend your efforts analyzing the relationship...

That nonchalant attitude might really just be a part of his personality...? Throw in a dash of understanding... ummmm or acceptance 😛

Give it some time... time time time yes yes I know... but trust me time never fails to tell me exactly what I have to know... use your judgment of course

Speaking from personal experience with crabs... and in a relationship with one who sounds a lot like yoursssssss hehehee... At first he'd drive me up the wall because when I wanted to talk about something (WITHOUT making a big deal) he didn't seem to be listening... I'd brood over it and then have some outburst which works for instant reactions but it's a longer process and creates more problems... it's better to let them come around. I've noticed that after some argument there's ALWAYS this little "down time" (which I think is where your crab is at right now) where he doesn't really react... I used to think he was being an ass so you can imagine how things went =/ In retrospect, he always comes around and opens up on his own time. But the most important thing is realizing that he DID listen to you and did take your words into consideration, it shows in their actions. Just don't expect them to be apologetic and ass kissing immediately. Just lay low and give it some time.

Thanks for that, it's definitely needed. Because right now my problem is that I am analyzing everything and it's driving me up the wall. So it's best for me to just lay low and let him come around, no need to call him or try to reach out because since he's the one that called me and said he wanted to work it out he would come around right? Thanks again to those who gave advice and those who will.

BUst a nut,lol.That's da Daemon way.

Well tauruschic thank you; you were so right. I sat back and waited and soon enough my cancer came to me, for the past two days he's been calling me and even with his busy schedule with work and school he made time to come see me this week which was really nice and thoughful, I feel special. I know sometimes I over analyze things, and I definitely did that with him. I'm starting to feel that this time around he may be more serious about us and the relationship because he's defintely putting out more effort while I just appreciate it all. I felt it when we spoke on the phone for 3 hours, we were talking about when we first met, and a lot of other subjects and it felt good to have a good laugh and conversation with him. I missed him so much and I'm glad that he came back to me. This time it may get more serious : ). Thanks to those of you who responded to my post, it's definitely appreciated. If you have any more things to say, any more advice to give, please feel free. I can use all the advice I can get about us cancers, well cancer men that is. I know more about us cancer women, but cancer men seem to a bit different or perhaps I'm over analyzing lol

Yesssssss! I'm so happy for you =D He is definitely into you.

You know, I just can't help wondering what they do during that little down time? hmmmmmmmm? We women might think that they're analyzing things (and for the parnoid, maybe it's bad news!) butttt see, I don't think so. I think they already know what they want and what their course of action will be, they aren't sweating it. It's simpler than that, they're letting things settle. Just some random thoughts there 😛

Getting through rough patches teaches us a lot about ourselves as well as our partners. I feel like it brings couples closer when you've worked it out TOGETHER. You gain a lot of insight about your partner and the nature of the relationship if you just pay attention to what's really important.

However, I would like to add that we women should really stay aware of how we perceive things. You don't want to run on erroneous perceptions... the gap will only get wider. The point is to never assume your partner feels a certain way or thinks a certain way unless there's CLEAR signs. Don't overlook the big stuff, don't dwell on the small stuff 😛

On the other hand we all kNoW WHO we're with. I've been with crabby long enough to know when he's just doing something half-arsed BECAUSE he most likely does not agree with me and does not want to bother. In that case it'd be better to address it and just agree to disagree... that way you stay on the same page together 🙂 Yes I know I would most likely NOT be smiling lol Let it flow let it flow *where's my pills?✨

Right, back to our crab men...

Just keep in mind that it won't always be flowery. He IS the person you've known all along. He is tHaT same person now trying to prove to you that he does care. His efforts and willingness to work for the relationship are good indicators. If you think there was something that wasn't working for you b4, don't do it anymore. Teach him how you like to be treated. And of course remember to keep him happy too... just not unconditionally... we're human and when we start receiving more than we give... we get used to it... and we will take someone for granted even if we do care for them. It's a balancing act, I say that the secret is just having a life! lol No bf or gf should be a top priority. Fix it (relationship) and move on. You'll both feel more confident about the relationship. That in turn makes it stronger.

Wish you luck 😄DD