That cancer girl likes me or not?

She knows I like her. She shows some affection towards me too. But problem is, she changes her moods rapidly. For example she flirted with me yesterday then she becomes ice today. She cared me then she ignores me. I don't know what she is thinking. She gave me chances but I was too afraid to confess her. Yes, I admit I'm coward, a loser. But I'll tell her my feeling for sure in the near future. If U cancerian girls would explain cancer's personality, I'll appreciate it. Thanks :-)

Ignore the moods.
Be stable & consistent.

Hi guys..I've been reading posts about cancers the last 2 weeks and tried to understand my Cancer guy. I'm Aqua and been with this guys for 2 years and 1 messed-up year after we broke up. We worked together until recently too. He's lost his parents when he was really young but always came across as a well rounded adult. He's 45, never been married, no kids. The first year he was absolutely amazing and loving, jelous too although never admitted. We were leaving together although I always rented my flat in case things went wrong. Whenever I was away he kept sending me texts implying I was cheating on him and thought he was joking. He's very set in his ways, only has young friends and acts like a child. He also drinks like a fish 🙂 He always wanted me around but just with his friends and they told me they never seen him like this. Last year on New Year's Eve, as we were leaving he saw me chatting to a guy outside of our group of friends and we got in a fight. He started pushing me, bruised my wrist and I left. He used to be very sarcastic and speak down to me. He used to ask why I needed his attention and telling me that he's nicer to his friends because he's known them longer lol wtf.
Since then..every time I leave or give him space he comes back, we still spend days together, he always cooks for me and brings me food at work. We still go out with his friends but not been intimate. He keeps saying that we're not in a relationship anymore and knows he's lost many friends from having a sharp tongue - he can say really nasty thigs and the next minute act like nothing happened. Although he doesn't call that often anymore, he mostly initiates contact but he never likes to talk about "us" and keeps telling me that I should learn to let go of things - in other words forget that he was mean and hurt me before. What do you guys think? I don't understand his behaviour and don't understand what he wants from me. He loves my company, he can't stand to know that I'm not around but still...we're not a couple anymore :-/

I also used to get angry rather than hurt at his moods as he's my first Cancer guy and didn't know how to handle him. He keeps saying he put me on a pedestal but he used to be really moody after a while and talk down to me. I felt anything than being put on a pedestal, that's what I know.
I'm not a typical Aqua either, not that distant and cold as we're described and I highly dislike conflicts. I used to just walk away to the park and zone out whenever faced with his moods. Only very late I understood that it wasn't done with bad intention but it's really hard to stick around. I care about him a lot, we share many values and ideas and surprisingly we have many in common. He started controlling his moods and trying to please me but we're still not together and I don't think I have much patience left. Especially cos I don't understand what's going on in his head

I am not a Cancerian, but I am in love with a Cancerian girl and my best tip for you is exactly the same as LunarMaiden writes here. Be stable, ignore the moods, don't make a drama out of it and try not to take it personal. Just be good to her and show that you are there but don't smother her if she needs some space, be patient and try to show how you feel for her without making her feel pressured to say, commit or show something back right away. Give her time. You need to have a lot of patience ( I learned this, and I failed sometimes on my way but I'm still "here" with the Cancerian girl and she always comes back ) If they care, they come back and the mood swings will go back and forth - that's a part of her personality so it is better to accept it and start loving it then trying to change it because this is how she is and I must say - Even if it can be hurtful, it sure is interesting and you can choose to let it bring you down, or make you stronger. If I cannot connect with this girl when she has her moods swings and almost shuts down on me I just show her that I am there for her with little gestures, touches, warm smiles and asking if she needs something. She almost always responds no, but still it is warming her and I only want to see her smile 🙂 Best of luck! 🙂

Leo123, thanks for your advice. Unfortunately, I've learnt a little too late about the moods and how to deal with them. I used to take it so personally and get hurt. He is a lovely guy but we both hurt each other, unintentionally. After we had that fight he tried to approach me but I was too hurt to go near him. I needed space and told him that. He panicked and he let go of us, but not completely. Like I said..we see each other all the time except for 2 days, do things together and I see that we both try to adjust. But he is very confusing whenever he snaps and says that we're not together anymore, to come back sweet and caring the next day and talk like we're still on. It's very hard not to hug him or kiss him anymore..and I'm equally scared of rejection so I don't do much in approaching him physically. He sometimes drops hints that I'm not doing it but then kills all my desires by reminding me that we're not together. I just don't know what to think anymore or what he wants

Oh the most confusinf bit is him talking about feelings and love but whenever I get soft around him he calls it a drama or being needy. It looks like it's ok only for him to initiate physical contact. I don't know..

Girl b his friends he can't put hands on u. Sounds like a handful idk. Im a cancer female i like peace and positivity i dont have mood swings but i can be quiet at times. Why do u want him after he show u possesive side and mood. I guess if u want to continue he need to show better actions

Hey lovely77, I wish I knew how to answer your question 🙂 I feel like sometimes he just wants to be chased. We used to spend way too much time together since we worked in the same place too, but sometimes I feel like he's acting like a woman..wants to be chased, to put up with his moods and he's turning 46. But every single time I give him space...he comes back to start the emotional roller coaster again

He told one mutual friend that he's scared of repeating the same mistake - he knew I strongly disliked how much he drinks and our fight started when he was not in control. He was totally wasted. Equally I was told that I was too harsh on him by leaving..but like I said to him..I didn'tleave HIM for good, I didn't end it with him, just needed a few days on my own as I never thought such a loving person can bring out this side

Thanks everyone. :-) Now she is currently in icy mood. But I'm sure I can break that ice and conquer her heart. Ofcause I'm quite skilled at loving who is special for me with my whole heart. xD

Posted by anaid
He told one mutual friend that he's scared of repeating the same mistake - he knew I strongly disliked how much he drinks and our fight started when he was not in control. He was totally wasted. Equally I was told that I was too harsh on him by leaving..but like I said to him..I didn'tleave HIM for good, I didn't end it with him, just needed a few days on my own as I never thought such a loving person can bring out this side

I am sorry, but your relationship (?) does not seem healthy for you. He seems confused and controlling but of course you would know this better as non of us here knows you two in person and there is always different sides to stories. You have to decide for yourself what do you want and need from this guy, what do you expect and deserve, what do you want for yourself in this life and then make a decision based on that. I hope you will figure it all out, I know it is not easy.

Posted by NyanKage
Thanks everyone. :-) Now she is currently in icy mood. But I'm sure I can break that ice and conquer her heart. Ofcause I'm quite skilled at loving who is special for me with my whole heart. xD

Sounds like you have a good plan already 🙂 Best of luck and keep on loving with your whole heart, it's a good thing as long as it does not break you as a person.

get used to the mood swings because they are never found to change, and quit calling yourself a loser. Cancer women don't like that shit. my wife is a cancer, i know from experience you can't be a puss. good luck

-Jack

Posted by NyanKage
Thanks everyone. :-) Now she is currently in icy mood. But I'm sure I can break that ice and conquer her heart. Ofcause I'm quite skilled at loving who is special for me with my whole heart. xD

It could be her upbringing . What is proper behavior for where you live. Just be patient.