What have you learned about Cancer men in love?

Experiences good and bad, what to do, what not to do, what to expect. thinktoomuch, I know you're shaking your head at me lol, perhaps one day i'll be able to let him go, but today is not the day.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
What I experienced about a cancer man in love is that they ask a lot of questions. They want to know how you are doing, where you been, reassurances if you still have interested on them.

What not to do is talk bad about their family, and close friends. They get really defensive and start an argument with you. Criticize them in any way, they'll get angry when you are pointing out something about them. Put too much drama, they will try to avoid it depending on the situation..

What to expect; they'll come and go, retreating into their shell and then come to you randomly. They need their space when they're over-whelmed and don't like to be force to open up when they don't want to. They will do it naturally.

And based on what I been through, I got annoyed by their constant questions when I wasn't comfortable with them.

Mine asked a MILLION questions when we first started talking lol, I never minded. Now, not a lot, but I am a creature of habit, so I lead a very predictable life.

I think he's in his shell right now. Why I think this, because he's stressed/embarassd that he has to move back in with his mom for awhile, and perhaps depressed because he can't provide for the family he wants to create with me.

I try not to push him to open up to me, though I will ask questions one in awhile. He opened up to me recently, sharing his concern about where to move, about his mom.

Posted by thinktoomuch
What I have learned is, that you should really really REALLY let them go, when they are not that interested in you. Because staying in a situation like this will destroy the both of you, you will turn ugly. Instead back off and perhaps have a friend for life.

My mind is more at peace with my situation, i'm not gonna push for what isn't gonna happen on it's own. I'm a Virgo, so I will ALWAYS want to know more, more, more lol! And nobody can destroy me, you can count on that. 😉

Posted by thinktoomuch
Oh you asked about cancer men in love. ... Eeeeehm, but it doesn´t seem like this cancer you know are in love with you. Does he say, that he is?
I think you should ask: what do we know about women in love with cancer men.

He has in the past, has said I love you when we see each other (while making love, granted that's not a good indicator of truth, but I myself have a hard time saying I love you to him aloud). He's a bad communicator of feelings, though he wasn't when we first met. But you know how that honeymoon stage goes. Our past is complex, I am to blame for a lot of things, so perhaps he lacks trust in me, or doesn't feel the "safety" he needs to progress with us. Idk....

Posted by thinktoomuch

Posted by Jkats

Posted by thinktoomuch
Oh you asked about cancer men in love. ... Eeeeehm, but it doesn´t seem like this cancer you know are in love with you. Does he say, that he is?
I think you should ask: what do we know about women in love with cancer men.

He has in the past, has said I love you when we see each other (while making love, granted that's not a good indicator of truth, but I myself have a hard time saying I love you to him aloud). He's a bad communicator of feelings, though he wasn't when we first met. But you know how that honeymoon stage goes. Our past is complex, I am to blame for a lot of things, so perhaps he lacks trust in me, or doesn't feel the "safety" he needs to progress with us. Idk....

.. Yeah, the I love you´s during sex are not exactly something to count on for a long term effect, since it is said in the spirit of the moment.

But hey man, keep yourself happy, certainly you shouldn´t let some stranger online control anything in your life.

click to expand

No, and I don't, in regards to your first statement.

I'm good, I take in everything, whether it be what I do or don't want to hear. If it turns out badly, I only have myself to blame, I realize that. And sorry I never answered your message, it's hard to reply in length from my phone. :/

Posted by thinktoomuch
Oh I wasn´t exspecting an answer, I figured you were the one with a question, so don´t worry about that.

Lol, alrighty.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby

Posted by Jkats

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
What I experienced about a cancer man in love is that they ask a lot of questions. They want to know how you are doing, where you been, reassurances if you still have interested on them.

What not to do is talk bad about their family, and close friends. They get really defensive and start an argument with you. Criticize them in any way, they'll get angry when you are pointing out something about them. Put too much drama, they will try to avoid it depending on the situation..

What to expect; they'll come and go, retreating into their shell and then come to you randomly. They need their space when they're over-whelmed and don't like to be force to open up when they don't want to. They will do it naturally.

And based on what I been through, I got annoyed by their constant questions when I wasn't comfortable with them.

Mine asked a MILLION questions when we first started talking lol, I never minded. Now, not a lot, but I am a creature of habit, so I lead a very predictable life.

I think he's in his shell right now. Why I think this, because he's stressed/embarassd that he has to move back in with his mom for awhile, and perhaps depressed because he can't provide for the family he wants to create with me.

I try not to push him to open up to me, though I will ask questions one in awhile. He opened up to me recently, sharing his concern about where to move, about his mom.

Cancer men like to live a life being independent, so there self-esteem and ego could lower if they have to be dependent on someone else.
I could see why he could be sort of stressed out embarrassed in this since he couldn't reach the goals and ambitions that he wanted.
It's good that you don't force them out, they only open up when they feel comfortable. Pushing them could lead to a negative effect.

If he is telling you about his problems, that could lead to a good sign. Since usually, they'd want to solve problems for themselves.

click to expand

Do you think that's why he's been wanting space? And because of their independence, is this part of the reason for them being hesitant/scared to love? The feeling of their happiness, to a degree, in the hands of another person? I know happiness starts from within, but if you love somebody, of course how they feel and y'alls relationship will effect (?) you.

And I agree that him showing his vulnerable side is a good sign.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
@Jkats: Yes. Problems like this makes them crave for some space, they need the time to think about their financial needs and security.
An empty wallet (involving money) is something they would usually get insecure the most.

He needs time to know where he is going to go, how is he going to support himself and get around with the situation he is in.

And most of the time it could be the reason why they're scared to get in a relationship when they know they can't support you financially. He might fear about not being able to meet your needs. Which will affect them greatly and such.

Your words are both comforting, but yet saddens me, because idk if he/we will ever come to the point where will be " secure" financially. See, I have two daughters of my own, don't have my own shit together, and we both want a baby, however, i'm not sure if us as a whole can work out. Some days I think that if I truly want the best for him, that I should let him go and find somebody that he can have a secure future with, but yet I know that i'm the best for him emotionally. He won't ever find somebody who loves him as much as I do, or is willing to try so damn hard to understand him and stick by his side. I am torn....

And the thing with him is, he is not an initiator of communication, I always am the one to reach out. I just don't know when to do so is all. I've read that you don't want a crab to go too deep into their shell, because they will either think you don't care, or it's harder to pull them out if it's been too long.

And your last statement, perhaps that is why he is afraid to comitt to me. At least I know that if that's the reason, he is thinking of my well being. But even so, i'm head over heels in love with him, even without a title.

@SentimentalCrabby I am doing just that, and am coming to peace with the fact that what is meant to be, will be with due time. He once said, the best thing for love is time.

Posted by SentimentalCrabby
@Jkats No problem. I wish for the best and things to work out for you. Just try your best to think positive when you end up thinking the worst.
Stay strong.

I appreciate that, much love!