WHEN CANCERS DONT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE

my cancer male friend always says: i jus dont understand u, u are the biggest mystery, i just dont get it.

is that y he is always hot and cold with me?
when cancer men are trying to figure a perosn out, how do they act? is it a bad thing if they always say: i just dont understand u.

Hi Lil.ladie.taurus

Firstly, i know you call him your "male friend"... but are you interested in being more than just friends?

because if you are ... maybe you are causing him to react towards you hot and cold?

yes, i am interetsed in more than friends.
he knows this, but still always asks if thats what i wnat. and says he doenst wnat anything, or that he doenst think we would work.

Firstly, I think taurus (you right?) and cancers are a great match!!!

He doesn't think it would work, and he doesn't want anything... because he can't figure you out!! You are most probably giving him mixed messages and when you become a mystery they back away because they are unsure... they don't want to step into an unknown territory (they don't want to get their feelings hurt)!!

The more mysterious you are the more likely he will retreat into his shell!

He might want something more than just friendship... but he needs to be sure!!!

What are you doing to be giving him mixed messages?

Okay, quit copying me LOL Are we seeing the same guy? My cancer said the same thing - he can usually figure girls out, but not me - I push/pull him. But I don't really think I do. At least not intentionally. lol

Not seeing the same guy... LOL 🙂

You might not do this intentionally, but he is feeling insecure!

Perhaps you haven't shown him that he is special and that you would much rather have a relationship with him than with any other guy!

Do you try to make him feel jealous at times?

he cannot figure you out because you do not give him normal reactions to his behavior. he takes pot shots at your ego and you come up with some reason to let it go and still are nice to him. what a few of you do not understand, is when cancers are mean, they need, and deserve, a normal reaction. it is like, trying to argue with someone who won't argue back...it is frustrating and just makes us madder. we need the challenge and we need the normal reactions...let us treat you like a doormat and we will...stand up for yourself and we will respect it for it. sometimes you win, sometimes we do...but in the end, if we are wrong, we sure do love making it up to you...

queirdagril.... well, we have known eahocther since we were kids,... u see.. but now lol we are both alreday in serious relationships with other ppl.

😢
soo..... lol in a way... we btoh give mixed signals, becuase we have to.

menbay12, its just that we always used to fight and whenever i would fight back, thats whne hed get even more aggravated. its like i cna never win.
i have talked with his sister, and she told me i need to chill, lol so im chilln, its been 2 days since ive talked ot him, and im feeling good right now. i think we btoh need space form eahcother becuz things were gettin hectic.

I don't blame the both of you for feeling insecure about one another!!!! Both of you are already compromised with someone else, and besides that both of you are unsure as to whether it is appropriate and safe to make the next step!!!(what i mean by the "next step" is take your relationship with each other further than what it is now...)... and it is only obvious that the both of you are going to keep feeling insecure

so its a vicious circle you see?

you feel insecure - you don't show how you truly feel about eachother and you don't take it to the "next step" - you feel insecure again - you don't show how you truly feel about eachother and you don't take it to the "next step" - you feel insecure again...and so on...

he gets agravated with you when you fight with him because he doesn't know how to handle this situation and his feelings towards you!!

I think its good that you give eachother space.... and I think you need to consider what it is in your present relationship that is not fulfilling you? and yet why are you still in this relationship?

questions like these may help you gain a better perspective about yourself, and what you truly want... your current boyfriend? or your childhood "sweetheart"?

THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE, BUT IM ALWAYS SYAING THAT YES, I AM INTERETSED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM THATS WHY I KEEP TLKAING TO HIM.. AND HE ALWAYS SAYS ITS NEVER GOING TO HAPEN BECUASE HIS FEELINGS FOR HIS GF ARE STRONGER... thne he says.. but i do wnat to see where this takes us. and then he asks me things like: am i worth it if ur bf finds out we have been tlaking and he breaks up with u? an dim like: yah.. and he slike: dont think liek that, or ur just syaing that ( WHICH IS KIND OF TRUE, i say that in the heat of the convo, how could i totally think he is worth it if he is always hot and ocld with me and starting fights, i cant give up sumthing amazing on pure chance taht he will change)... etc... so.. idont kno man...lol

its fucked, thats why i try to talk with him and avoid the whoel convo about us,and just stay firneds, but if i dont bring it up, he will always bring up the quetsion: are u tlaking to me only ebucase u think we will end up together? i dont kno how many times he has to ask that quetsion.and i dont kno how many times he has to keep tellin me it wont happen.

UGHHH. lol so yah, giving space. tryna put that behind me for now.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR UR ADVICE, UR AMAZING!!!!!!!