Where do we go from here?

It's been a while since I posted here. I'll try to make the long story short.

I was with this cancer man for about four months and I fell in love with him really hard.
Then one day, he told me he was already dating some other girl and that he actually started seeing her a month or so before he met me. He said he had never planned for this to happen, for us to be anything more than friends but we still did. We even went on a romantic getaway from Valentine's Day (that was after he told me about the other girl).
I gave him time to think about what he wanted to do and when he finally made up his mind, it was to tell me he couldn't see me anymore.

It broke my heart but I decided to stay in touch because we had an incredible connection and he had become my best friend.

I tried the no contact thing for a few weeks but ended up missing him too much so we started texting each other every day again.

I tried dating other men but it just doesn't work out. They're not him. None of them make me feel like he does.

Last week, we sent to see a movie together. I told him how I felt about other men and how none of them could even come close to him. He hugged me and one thing led to another, we ended up sleeping together again.
I asked him if he regretted it a couple of days later and he said he didn't but that we went further than he had meant to. I also noticed that months after he added me on Facebook, he finally added the "other girl".

Now, I'm back where I started, my heart broken all over again but probably in a worst state than before, crying like an idiot and unable to get him out of my head or my life because I love him too much to quit him.

Of course, I'm at a very bad spot in my life at the moment. I'm about to quit my job and I might have to move back with my parents in another country. My cancer guy is being very supportive about this and wants me to get better but he's such a huge part in why I am feeling so depressed.

I don't know what to do anymore. Will the pain ever go away?

sweetie, you deserve someone that will choose you and ONLY you.

it makes me so angry when guys have other girls on the side.

I know you may feel like you'll never find someone to make you feel the way he does but you WILL. trust me. I felt the same way about a cap i was crazy about.... but you know what I did? I finally cut off contact... worked on ME, gave it lots of TIME. months. and when I LEAST expected it I found the guy I am with now and he treats me better than anyone.

Hi Mary

I felt this way about a Sag. We were on and off for about 5 years and he treated my like i was just a option to fall back on. I was so in love and wanted him to CHOOSE me so bad that I didn't realize the damage that it was doing to me. He did the lying, sleeping with every girl in the city (literally) and just having no respect for me. FIVE YEARS!

I thought i would never love again. the connection was so strong that nothing else would do, but I was wrong. I had to make a conscious choice that i was tired of being treated so bad and it wasn't on his terms anymore...it was on mine.

I stopped answering the calls, stop feeding into him, stop seeing him and after only about three or four months i was over it. I ended up meeting a man a loved and respected me. The last one never nearly made me as happy as this one.

Moral of the strong
You got to find the strength in yourself to decide how you want to be treated and settle for nothing less. If its meant to be he will come around. If not you WILL get over it and move on to better, even tho it doesn't seen like it right now

best of luck

Dont worry girls ... i tell you the trick how to decieve the CANCER boy ... i m also a cancer boy 🙂


Whats the zodiac sign of that OTHER GIRL ? learn some astrological traits of zodiac ... learn the dark side of cancer and also of that OTHER GIRL ... become friend with other girl ... when conversation goes hot tell her the dark side of cancer zodiac ... to win a cancer you have to win his trust but until other girl is stuck in his mind its hard to decieve it because cancer dont let go when they cling to something ... i feel that their relation wont last long because cancer changes frequently ! make your value among friends like learning palmistry or become a intelligent who tell the niche questions which posses high level of philosphy !

Thank you, everyone.
It's been a rough couple of months and I don't really see the end of it right now. :/
I've been out on dates with a couple of guys and I tried my best to give them a chance but I can't. There is no chemistry and I end up comparing them to the Cancer.
I've actually been dating this Aries boy for a few weeks now but I don't think it will go anywhere since kissing him is like kissing my own hand.

@aurora I get what you're saying but as we say, love is blind and I just can't help but see the good sides of him. 😢
He's like a drug to me and I wonder if I really want to quit him.

@thiefgold The other girl is a virgo like me from what I gathered :/
I have been thinking about telling her how he cheated on her for over 4 month. She deserves to know. But part of me doesn't want to sink that low.

well in my way of thinking cut from someone is not good ... you know if you keep in touch with cancer guy and just listen what he says and in return you just give advice or do hi hello talk about different things while if he ever get in brawl with OTHER girl then he perhaps think that you also take care of him and doesnt show any thing like that OTHER GIRL ... got my point?

well sorry for so cripped reply 🙂

i meant to say that if you keep in touch with him just like that OTHER GIRL and meanwhile if he ever get in brawl with
her then he will i bet tell you everything and just on that point if you show your full affection and care .. i m certain
he may bow down towards you !

hope you get it now 🙂

Mary you're in a really tough spot but you have to downgrade him and ELEVATE yourself or you'll always feel he's superior than every other guy out there so first of all THINK not with your heart but with your head, a little objectivity is needed with a heavy dose of mental control and self control.

The one thing you want to stop doing is comparing this man to everyone else, he friend zoned you and he took advantage of your feelings by sleeping with you knowing how you feel and knowing full well he's not going to dump this other woman (if there really is another woman) for you, I say IF there is another woman because he's not the first or the last guy to use the whole OTHER WOMAN line to hurry up and get out, he copped out on you, told you a lie that there was another woman so he could find a QUICK EXIT before he found himself in a full on relationship, his OBJECTIVE was to see if he could get you FOR FREE, meaning can I have her and have my freedom too and you fell for it, that doesn't make you an idiot because a lot of women fall for it but will make you feel like an idiot is continuing on in something that is clearly not healthy for your sense of self worth, you do not want to lower your self esteem by remaining close to a guy that friend zoned you.

Stop comparing him to other men, instead look at each man as INDIVIDUALS that may have better qualities than this Cancer guy, instead of comparing him with other men kick him off of his pedestal and declare that he's not good enough for YOU because those men that you date are most likely BETTER than his insecure ass, don't settle and don't sell yourself short, don't be free by downgrading yourself into the friend zone box which clearly is about to turn into an FWB situation if you don't back up and you'll be beyond humiliated and hurt once you fall into a pattern of being his friend with benefits.

None of what you feel means anything if you have to be just a friend, the attraction, the intense feelings mean NOTHING if you have to settle into something that doesn't benefit you. If intense attraction includes being OTHER WOMAN then you really aren't getting anything out of this.

While you are seeing the GOOD SIDES of him, he is seeing the BAD SIDES of you and thus he'll feel you're inferior and YOU'LL NEVER GET HIM TO BUDGE YOU OUT OF THAT FRIEND BOX BECAUSE IN HIS MIND YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH--YOU ARE NOT GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL...To remedy this all you have to do is STOP, stop seeing him, stop going out with him and limit how much you communicate with him, stop making him an important part of your life when all you are is an option to him.

The more you go out with him, communicate with him, revolve your thoughts, your life, your soul, your heart and mind around him he becomes IMPORTANT, so important you find yourself breathing just for him and YOU ARE AN OPTION in his life and that ends in complete disaster for YOU.

Think about YOU not him and then you'll see how NOT thinking about YOURSELF is pushing you into this powerless position were he's the only one benefiting from the whole ordeal. If you make it about it him then he'll make it about him too, don't encourage this one sided situation were he's the only person winning, you both should win or it's a lose situation for you.

Thanks everyone.

I have finally deleted Cancer man off my contacts. Deleting his phone number was the hardest but I think it was for the best.
It's been five days but it feels like forever, probably because we used to talk every day. Part of me want him to crawl back to me begging (not sure if I would let him in my life again after how he treated me) and part of me just want to forget he ever existed.

I told my boss my plans to quit my job so hopefully, I'll be able to sort my life out soon.

Once again, thank you for your help.

It makes me so sad that this guy is so inconsiderate of your feelings 😢

I hope it gets better for you

I'm sorry you are going through this, marythevirgo. 😢 I'm in a similar situation with a Cancer man, and tiki33 is totally correct.. my issue is every time I start to push away, he pulls me back in, and I let him. Eventually I will be too far away for him to grab me..

II dated a libra who did this to me, I new he had girls and was dating , we made that clear that we was just dating and get to no eachother. But wat piss me off was the action and words was very different. He was sooooo sweet to me,tell me how much he care for me,and would get jealous over my male friends begging me to only give him attention. But always doing his thing, I was a soo attracted to him sexually and as a person but I refuse to have sex with him cause I new he didn't just want to deal with me. He bully shit me saying if we date a lot we might can be partners , I found our situation to be soo dam stupid. I couldn't master wat since we was making.I found myself sooo confuse.

One minute he telling me about his female friends and wat they did,next minute he ask me wat I did today I bring up another guy he become jealous ,then me and him go out he tell me how much he cares for me and hate that I go out wit other dudes. He go on saying I'm there for him . It was a dam rollercoaster,a ride I didn't want to be on.

Wat I did was let him go.oneday I got up and said fuck him. We couldnt be friends cause he didn't like the fact that when we see eachother act hang out spots he didn't llike that I was dating other men. And he didn't want a relationship he enjoy dating life. And I respect that but stick to wat u say.

I think u are just mentally tired aww these things going on and so happen to be focus on this. I believe if everything else was goin well u would be able to see that he is unhealth for u.he maybe sweet and supprtive.and much more but there something that girl that u don't have ,and there something u have but that girl don't. Move on .

Think of somethings to do for yourself. Clean ,organize,write, think of your hobbies,u talk about your job situation work on that, I undersatnd the stress about the job cause and two weeks I will be laid off and hopefully this other job come out good for me. I stress out for two weeks over this and I been staying busy. So no.

Overall things will pass,think about aww the shit u been thru and u made it thru. Life is a learning lesson . Good luck