Will my Cancer Man Be Back ?!!

Hiii I am new here and I am soo happy to be a part of this forum. I am a 22 year old university student and my cancer man is 36 years old. My story started 3 years ago when I was a freshman. My cancer man and I barely knew each other and we both study different majors. He is a really sweet and funny man and he introduced himself to me while I was working on a project and he was very fond of my work because I study architecture and interior design. I used to see him from time to time and we became good friends, but several months ago he became over friendly and i took it as a sign that he wanted to start something with me. He started by adding me on BlackBerry then after 2 weeks he gave me his number, I did not call him right away because I never had a boyfriend before and he knows that. I was a little hesitant to call but I did because I really liked him. We started our relationship and it was like a dream, he was very considerate, caring and he really loved me and he kept telling I hope we stay together. We were together for a few months, and we were intimate a few times. He used to tell me that nothing will come between us and he really wants me, but then he started to change, he barely calls me and then he just disappeared for 2 months!!! I was really depressed and sad that he just left me that way I saw him twice in uni while he was registering for his masters. The first time he saw me he called me over, and he acted like nothing happened between us and that he did not disappear for 2 months. Then the second time I wanted an explanation for his behavior and he said I am gonna call you. I waited for 2 weeks and then I called him and he said I don't think this is going to work out because of the age difference and all this time he was just living a dream, and he had something in his mind and it did not turn out how he wants it to be. He also said I care about your happiness and I want whats best for you. He was talking to me as if he does not care about me anymore and was very cold. Its been 3 days since we broke up and I am really sad and depressed and I want him to come back to me. I still have some hope that he would come back because I hate to think that everything he said to me was a lie.

I am sorry if my story is too LONG!!

I really want to know if there is hope, and help to know if his intentions were honest

Hi cotton candy,

First of all, m sorry to hear what happens to u atm. I do understand how much confused n lonely you are atm.

Secondly, If you read through all the posts in this cancer board from other ppl n also me ( u can read my post with title Aquarian girl n Cancer guy...plz help) , u will learn few things from there. What i mean is Cancer guy in general are very considerate, caring, passionate, understanding...etc....when ur friends look at u guys, they might get jealous with u, coz uve got a perfect n sweet bf. But later on, things will turn out completely diffetent once a cancer guy starts his thinking process. He will shell himself n tries to avoid from everything n evryone, including u. Thats why u see his action is so cold n distant....that hurts u I know. Again, he will def appear n act like nothing happened be u n him...thats a typical cancer guy u know. Thatshow they are.

Anyways, from what ive read from ur post, ive got the feeling that hes not ready to sit down n discuss things with u. He is shelling himself atm. Dont try to call him heaps,, that will make him consider as a control n insecurity issue. Let him sort things out in his mind. Send him an email tell him how u feel n care about him,,,, but try to avoid to be desperate or beggy on the email....be urself! Also tell him contact u when he gets ready.

To u, before he suddenly disappeared, did u think u said sth that might hurt him— Think about that first...coz cancer guy is very sensitive...u might say sth but to u it was normal,, but to him,, he might think in dif way...and that could make him upset...

M not gonna give u a hope by telling u that ur man will come back ..etc... Be prepared for the worst case if things happen( if u know what i mean) ...but i can let u know one thing from what i read on the board...cancer guys appear n disappear like changing their clothes.... Sounds crazy n confusing...but it is the way they act unfortunately.....as their gfs ,, we get hurt the most....

Thank you Hawaiiangirl for ur reply it really helped me. Actually I have no intention of contacting him in anyway because if the way he spoke to me. And to answer your question no I did not say or do anything to upset him. The day before he disappeared he was normal and he told me I really love u and I love where is this relationship going and I hope we be together for years and years to come. I was really happy when I heard that and I said to myself that he is THE ONE.

Did he officially said break up to u—

Its easy said than done, i know that...even me i try to work hard try to do everything that occupy my mind...m thinking too much about my man....hmmm...its sort of selfish to say his attitude just makes me worse day by day......m not myself at all these days....so what I advise u is to keep moving on what ur doing atm.... Try to hang out with friends or u may contact him but just contact as a friend...not a lover....by doing that u may feel much better and also give him some place n time to process his thinking....

Thats what m trying to do now...its hard tho but yeah..we have to do it to make us feel more comfortable...

Cheer up my friend

YES he did break up with me. Because when I called him 4 days ago to know where is this relationship going he said its over, then I told him don't I deserve to know if you wanted to end the relationship, he I think it was obvious because we have not talked in 2 months. I think he was just playing with me and he will never come back. I was stupid to believe him in the first place. He was just playing games with me.

Well CottonCandy,

Calm down, ok— dont blame urself like this. I dont want u to blame urself. Life is what it is. If things come to u, either bad or good, u need to take them, stand up, and move on. I know its easier said than done, but think if we just sit back , blame ourself like this, what will we be??

How about u think like this, he doesnt deserve u! u urself deserve a better one who can take care of u, give u a true love, love u for who u are and the most important is not to appear and disappear like this without any reasons or a trace at all!

I have learnt so many things from my relationship now, Thats why I hope I can give u some feedback for ur situation. Ask urself if u wanna have heart attack with this relationship anymore?

If u need to talk to someone about this, then do it. It will make u feel better.

Ur right he doesn't deserve me. Thank you so much for making me feel better and I hope u feel better about ur situation as well. Talking about the problem and reading different opinions really helps u look at the problem from a different perspective.

Ya I have read all the posts from other ppl in here....learnt from their situations and from those who gave others feedback....love reading those things....

Told ya its really hard to go through this thing....m still struggling with it....i need to adjust my mind as well....but i feel better now..lol

My situation is still in the middle of nowhere....

Back off is the only thing m doing now..


Happy when u feel better....moving on!

Tell u one thing.....from what I have read from other posts....some couples with cancer guys havent contacted each other for 6 months....but after 6 months,,,cancer guys came back and acted like nothing happened...lol or even one year later.....


Tell u this,,,i dont mean giving u a hope ,,,,just want u to understand how weird they are.... Crazy, right—? But it happened to some of them and to some relationships.

Ya I read the same thing about cancer men coming back. But I won't give myself hope because there is a chance that he won't

Hello cottoncandy and welcome to the boards.

I had a similar experience a little while back so hopefully this will shed some light. I was 33 she was 22. We knew each other for about 2 years and finally decided to hook up and were intimate on the first night. To both of us the age difference didn't matter. However, it is generally socially unacceptable. With that said while in the end both of us loved each other her mother made her life a living hell everyday the entire time we spent together. Her mother was mean and nasty to me calling me a cradle robbing POS and all sorts of stuff. Then one night her mother gave her an ultimatum to choose her or me. Well my girl was a cap so add pressure plus her strong feelings for her family and well ya it ended. We both were still in love with each other but that pressure took its toll. To me in a sense it was like living a dream.

So while there was most of the pressure on her side your situation might be on his. I'm sure someone somewhere called him names or added pressure to him and it took its toll.

Ur right maybe he was pressured by something and he decided to step back. I love him sooo much and I want him back but I guess it was not meant to be. We both knew about the age difference, and it was not a problem but for the past 2 months that he disappeared I gave him his space by not calling or txting, I kept telling myself that he will miss me and call but he didn't. I eventually did contact him with no response, so i figured that he's not into me anymore, and I was right.

If it's any help I do still miss my cap a year later but it was for the best. Just remember you had good times you had.

Ur right I just have to remember the good times we had together. Maybe it was for the best 🙂

Hi Cotton,

Don't know where you are in your relationship with this dude. But do not worry. Cancer men are ALWAYS in and out. I've been close to one cancer for 13 yrs (since 8th grade) he drops in and out. Because we are dear friends above all else, I don't get upset and i'm just happy to see or hear from him. We've talked about a relationship and he would always say he didn't want to chance ruining our friendship because its one of the best things that happen to him, and he'd hate if things didn't go right and we are no longer friends. I use to think he was blowing me off, or blowing me b.s or that he didn't trust me enough to be his gf. Truth is that I've learned over the yrs, is that he doesn't trust himself when it comes to me, it has NOTHING to do with me. HE would be the one that wouldn't be able to continue the friendship if things didn't work, not me. Now that I know that I'm satisfied with friendship completely.

Now??_the cancer I'm into now. SMH. Girl be careful because this one may have did you a favor by leaving you the heck alone. He's older too!? Watch out. The one I'm into now has told me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore so many times I lost count and I no longer believe him when he says it. He only says it when he cant have his way or when I don't bend to his fit, or dance to his music, then he's back with I few months sometimes days, even hours. Spoiled azz. If Cancer wants to leave, then let him and leave him be. Tell him how you feel and leave the ball in his court. Let him see you living your life to the fullest. Whatever you do though, DO NOT try to make him jealous. It will back fire if he has any feelings for you. I know it's hard when you love someone and they??ve said all these beautiful things and painted the beautiful fairytale in your head, but try not to give this man soul power over your emotions. Try to channel that energy into something else. Something that makes you feel good as a woman without him or anyone for that matter. That's what I do.

Oh yeah, one other thing my friend whom dates nothing but cancer men for someone reason (they are draw to her, she's a Taurus lol) she said just because a cancer man doesn't see you all the time or speak to you everyday doesn't mean he's not thinking about you. If they like you, even a little bit they will always still think about you at some point.

Thanxx purrtybossest for ur feedback, I did not know either where I was in this relationship. He did not contact me for 2 MONTHS!! which i think is very suspicious and weird. He just disappeared overnight, but you helped that maybe he might not be over me completely, and might come back (HOPE!!).I hope he does come back I know I need to be patient, I just want to know why may he did me a favor by leaving me alone and that he was older?? Could you elaborate plz.

OMG I would never be with someone who didn't contact me for two months.
I could care less if they were thinking of me every waking moment of their life if that's how they treat me.
I've never read ever on any of these threads that relationships with guys who treat their girlfriends like this turn out well.
Sure I've read that they come back but then they leave again it's all screwing around, he loves you, he loves you not from this point onwards.

I do get that Cancers can be unconventional and have their own way of doing things. I am with one and we've definitely had our misunderstandings but being gone
out of the blue for two months is unacceptable and f'd up
OP I hope you have found someone who treats you better by the time he comes back to mess with you.

I saw you are 22 and he was 36, that is where i stopped reading. What you have is lust. Get it out of your system if you have to, and reserve your heart for better compatibility. That kind of age difference opens the gates of manipulation. You being the one manipulated. Harsh I know, but trust me you need to experience more of life before you get THAT serious.

Posted by TheCardinalClaw
I saw you are 22 and he was 36, that is where i stopped reading. What you have is lust. Get it out of your system if you have to, and reserve your heart for better compatibility. That kind of age difference opens the gates of manipulation. You being the one manipulated. Harsh I know, but trust me you need to experience more of life before you get THAT serious.

Wrong, the age difference has nothing to do with compatibility or manipulation. The only thing the age difference has is the way others see it plain and simple.

I think my story is very complicated and I still can't understand his actions 😢

I think he will never come back and he wants nothing to do with me 😢

Hang in there darling, time heals all wounds

Ya I guess your right 😢 BTW my friends saw him yesterday and they immediately called me and said that he asked about me and how was I doing.

Hi Candy,

I am cancermoon and I can tell this.. Let the man come at you . A person that go away have a reason. I don't think that you are the reason. Not when you have 22 years. I'm sure that come back to you , but not now. He has something in progress in life that it's private. Let the time work and don't rush the things. Maybe in this moment have the finish another story of his life and need time.. I think it's ok to think about you all the day and have issue there , that reverse 🙂

Thanks Arki I hope he does 🙂 Ur feedback made me feel much better

What I mean when I say he might be doing you a favor has nothing to do with him being a cancer man, but everything to do with a man that knows himself better than you. And if he thinks he's not a good match for you, then believe him. Now if he happens to change his mind, which (this is where is darn sign comes into play) then it will be up to you on whether you love him enough to accept him abandoning you. If you love him I wouldn't blame you if you did, however you need to not forget how he dropped on you like that, don't let him forget either. Remind him that you are not to be toyed with and neither are your emotions, I wouldn't necessarily say that to him right away, but I would show him by not letting him in so easily. I know Cancer men hate to feel pushed away, but heck in this case he??d be bringing it on himself. At some point they have to take responsibility for their actions, F*k his sign.

Yeah I guess ur right, and if he did come back I will let you know how I reacted 😉
Thank you for your feedback I appreciate it 🙂

Any other comments would be appreciated 🙂

Yea he is a jerk and he took advantage of me 😢 I thought he really loved me but I guess he didn't

Its like he hypnotized me I can't get him out of my head. I really miss him and I hope he comes back and apologizes for what he did 😢

Like I always say "What goes around comes around" 🙂

Any other comments would be appreciated 🙂

Hi Cotton candy 🙂 i hope he comes back to you and even i do believe in what goes around comes around back. its been two months my cancer man broke up with me. i somehow feel he will come back,yes even i kind of have the situation like you,he is older than me. they are very cold when they are thinking something exactly like somebody posted here when they think about their progress in life,they act like nothing happened and we can still talk or something like that. it is not you but the reason must be something else. it was few days ago my ex said that he still checks his inbox if any msgs from me,he even said he missed me because i was the only person he talked to. but then again he mentioned that he can't be in relationship for a while. i don't know or understand how long? this 'while' gonna be. i have read many forums and post and what i gather as an information is they do think about you,no matter how distant they act or talk. Right now i am trying to heal myself though i miss him everyday. i gave my best! 🙂 but now all depends on him.