Yet another Crabby test ?

Hi all,

I have been reading this forum for a long time, but don't post often. I would love your insight on my situation (will try to be brief). Me, 29, Virgo/Cancer rising, He, 35, Cancer/Virgo, with a 2yo son.

Met 3 months ago, we clicked instantly, and started dating.
After two months (we were in contact daily, spent a lot of time together), he started acting distant, and being rude for no reason. When I asked him if something was wrong, he said that he'd rather end things, because he didn't feel like being in a relationship. It hurt a lot but I said I understood, and that I cared and will always care about him no matter what.
We didn't speak for three days, and then he started messaging me again, with a lame excuse to bring back my stuff - and suggested we went to a movie (he didn't bring back my stuff).
We had a great night, laughed a lot, like nothing had changed.
Three days after that (in the mean time, he kept "liking" every single thing I posted on FB, though he normally doesn't use FB much, and changed his profile pic to one I took of him at my place), he asked me out for dinner.

We had yet another great night, lovely meal and walk in a Xmas market. While we were having a last drink, he started apologizing for hurting me, and he explained to me why he ended things (I never asked for explanation) : he said that he broke up because he was confused, he needed to see other people, and he didn't want to cheat on me so he left me. He also said that he knew we were meant to be together but he was not ready yet to commit and he didn't want to hurt me again. (I have proof that he isn't seeing or hasn't seen anyone, so why tell me this ?)

The next morning, I sent him an e-mail telling him that I was very touched that he explained all those things because it must have been very hard for him, and that yes I was hurt, but I could understand what he was going through. I also told him that my feelings for him were still there, and that I would always be there to support him.
He replied right away saying that once again, I gave him proof that I'm one of a kind, and the most precious girl he's ever met.

Since that day, he has been sending me "good night" messages, "good morning" messages, giving me pet names again, asking me very precise questions about my work schedule, and also asking me out next Sunday night (unfortunately I had to decline because I am going to my family for Xmas).

So my questions are :

- why tell me he needs to see other girls, why I have proof that he is not ? Just to see how I react and how much I care about him ?

- do you think all of this (being rude, leaving me, etc) is to make sure I'd stay around no matter what ?

He never went "silent" on me since I know him - even for the 3 days we didn't speak, he "liked" random pictures of mine on FB just to show he was around.

We have a very deep connection, he told me that I was one of the very few girls he trusted (the others being his two sisters), so why hurt me like this ? To see if I can handle it ? I am a tough Virgo, but I have feelings ! 😄

Thanks for your insight !!

He is in love with you. There is nothing further to analyze virgs 😉. Good luck!

he does like you..he was just testing you.

my Cancer n I hit a road bump a month or two into seeing one another casually. He was confused, scared.... He hung out with an ex but lied about it at first til I caught him. he basically wanted to be sure about us. ouch. Total ego burst n I've never been so hurt but we talked things thru.

Yeah, thinking about his doubting our future at that time does burn still but I realize we were still both single, unofficial So I forgave him as we were friends n he was free to come n go as he pleased. he decided I was worth too much to lose n well who can blame the guy, I'm awesome. lol. no but I understand, he wanted to make sure I'm the one he wanted, and well I was and am. I'm glad he thought so because he is so far the greatest love I have ever known.

thing is he knows what he feels but he just needs reassurance. Love relationships r scary business especially for an emotional Cancer. they invest so much of themselves from the get go... if he sticks around and treats you kindly just like when you first met, then he's a keeper.

this got a bit personal but I hope my experience will help you see things from a diff POV. sharing has certainly helpede heal what I now see as superficial wounds.

Thanks Peanut,
I think it's exactly the same for my Crab !! Thanks a lot for sharing, I feel better now that I know I'm not alone 😉
All my best wishes to you and your man, and Happy New Year !!