Advice for a girl with a commitment phobic cap?

Refuses to call ya girlfriend? Hmm, but I bet you're not young enough to be "with" him. Are you sure you're the only one— I once dated a cap with pieces moon, but venus in sagg he didn't want the "labels", but sure acted like a bf...ahhh we had so much fun, until I found out I was the other woman 😢

That was just my experience (I'm cancer btw). Good luck getting to the bottom of this!

Lol @ Venus in Aqua! SMH

What are your ages and how far away do you live from one another?

RUN as fast as you can or you will end up with commitment issues. Men in long white coats will COMMIT you to an insane asylum.

Men who say one thing and DO another can drive you to the point of insanity until you work them out.

Posted by ellessque


They are more flaky than a croissant in the best cafe in Paris.

How would you know? You've never been in Paris 😛

Yum a flaky croissant sounds GOOD!

But NOT a flaky Cap. Lol.

Well, thats not gonna be as shocking as finding out how innacurate that croissant claim is 😛

Freaky! I am friends with a guy with those same placements, we live in WA state, and he travels for work a lot so he visits CA frequently. The only difference is that he is 29 now and the degrees are off (new year's eve baby).

My experience? Ugh. Seriously, ugh. A headache. Flaky as fuck. Acted like I was his when together, jealousy and all, but we weren't. He "committed" himself to a girl that he never brought around me (accidentally met her once) and never talked about (as if she didn't exist). He would often cross the line and touch me inappropriately yet he was confused as to why I was confused about his mixed signals. His actions said,"Touch me, fuck me, please!" but his words betrayed with,"But I have a girlfriend" His not ever bringing her around me, or even mentioning her in light conversation, compounded with his touchy-feely actions, made me think sometimes that he was no longer attached. He would never speak of his relationship status so it always got to a crunch point where he'd have to stop things from progressing and reinstate it. I thought for sure, if he was so committed, that he would not touch me like that unless he was single again. Dork!

Not saying they're all like that but "mine" does have the same placements. Maybe the decanates can help yours rise above? Regardless, I go with watching to see if his actions match his words. That's when you know if he's all talk or not.

Capricorns can be masters at compartmentalization. If he's saying you are too young, and the two of you live too far away, and he's not calling you girlfriend, then that's the foundation. Disregard everything else that's being said, because truth is..he will not build on that foundation. He will let you work around his issues, and he'll even temporarily work around them, but they will not go away, unfortunately.

This sounds similar to the Taurus guy at my job who is younger than I am. Nearly everyone around there think we are a couple. I tell him everyday, all day, that he is too young, but at the same time I do believe I might be blurring the lines unintentionally. We're not physically close or anything, but we are close in that we like to be around each-other. I enjoy his company, and don't know how to push him away, and I really feel that by me telling him he is too young an idea of it never going past a certain point will click.

But honestly, all in all, it's selfish on my part, and its a selfish thing your Cappy is doing to you. When he is ready, or when he wants it to happen, you will know. He won't completely stop something that feels good to and feeds him in any way, so you will have to gain the strength to do it or else it will go on for years, possibly. Good luck!

Posted by amethyst2002
One, that whole thing about the relationships is a line of shit. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Two, he's taking advantage of your age and your naivety that comes with that age. He knows he can feed you all sorts of shit like this and you'll stick around.

If it's been 4 months and the guy will NOT give you a title, that's a huge red flag. Everything he says is bullshit. I mean really? You can make excuses til you're blue in the face, but currently, you sound like a statistic. Look around here or on the internet at other advice forums. You'll hear the same story and many chicks have suffered in the long run.

You're going to have to decide how much you respect yourself in this case. If you're perfectly okay with being negotiable right now, then by all means, continue. But if you want a relationship, this is not the way to go about it. Seriously.

Like someone mentioned- the actions will tell you what you want. He's not ACTING like an actual boyfriend is he?

Mmm.. that's the thing! He doesn't act like a boyfriend but he has mentioned he is exclusive with me and, "committed" in the sense that he's not seeing other people.
He talks nonstop about our future, moving in together, getting married, having kids, ect. but once again, it means nothing at the moment if we aren't even a couple.

I'm ending things with him today...we'll see how it goes. I've attempted to end things a few times but he doesn't seem to want to let go.

Lily,

I just wanted to say that perhaps he fears being teased or ridiculed by his family, friends or workmates about dating a younger woman. Now I know the natural thing to say to that would be 'he isn't worried about that when he pays for your tickets to visit him' but I think with Capricorns it's always about them and they do tend to like being seen as 'proper' in the public eye. Perhaps he is just waiting until you are older until he announces you! It's just a thought I had so, I thought I would throw it in there :-)

Posted by MissBizarre
Lily,

I just wanted to say that perhaps he fears being teased or ridiculed by his family, friends or workmates about dating a younger woman. Now I know the natural thing to say to that would be 'he isn't worried about that when he pays for your tickets to visit him' but I think with Capricorns it's always about them and they do tend to like being seen as 'proper' in the public eye. Perhaps he is just waiting until you are older until he announces you! It's just a thought I had so, I thought I would throw it in there :-)

MissBizarre, that is true TO A TEE. I swear all you girls could write a book about Capricorn men 😉

He has a corporate job and has told me before that he worries about what his guy friends and co-workers would think about him dating a girl so young, but I know that he has told his chick friends about me.

He did ask me one time if I'd like to come with him on a trip to visit his mom this summer...but he only brought it up once casually and said it would be a big step because he has never brought a girl home before.

I've been dating the same Cap with Aqua Venus for a year now (yeah - I should have taken the advice months ago to end it, but I've hung in there with hopes of more to come). We see each other several times per week, spend major holidays together, etc., but he STILL maintains that he "does not want to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone right now." I think I'm either the cake he's eating too, the cow with the free milk, or something. I am NOT pressuring for marriage, living together, or anything of the sort -- I just want to be exclusively dating, which doesn't seem out of line after a year. Unfortunately, my requests for a relationship are quickly denied by my Cap mate.

So... my advice is to tread lightly with this one. Every day I find myself caught between loving a great, wonderful, caring, funny man and wanting to kick him to the curb for his commitment-phobic ways.

Wow, reading all of this is really helpful. I've met two Cappy men online. I'm completely and totally drawn to both but really unsure now what to expect. I totally see certain typical signs in one of the fellows - he's rigid, pessimistic, wants his cake and wants to eat it to, all of the conversation has to revolve around him. But I want to be there for him! I'm a scorpio and I've read some great/intense things about Cap/Scorpio realationships. Only time will tell...