CapGirl
@CapGirl
20 Years1,000+ Posts
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Cap-Cap Relationships
Welcome CapGirl1225, and Happy Valentine's Day to you!
I second that, CapGirl. I've met two other caps in the last three months since dealing with my original cappy, and I'm telling you, they are all the same (my three, at least). After they have chased you, depending on if you have responded favorably, they switch up to do other things -- so now you may have to go to the "end of the line", so to speak.
They don't mind you chasing them b/c they are "busy" accomplishing something else (since now they hope they have *accomplished* getting you); and b/c they can't seem to or don't want to focus on more than one thing at time. During these times, you will have to remind them that you are there and that you still want them. Plus, they have to put some distance between himself and you, like the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder", not "out of sight out of mind." Please don't think the latter, especially if he has given you no reason (verbally) to think that he is not still interested in you.
If you are prone to emotionalism, this may frustrate you and you may make the mistake of showing your emotions through anger, hurt, tears, etc. This is not a good idea. But as a capricorn, you will most likely stay calm and in control of yourself. At any rate, CapGirl1225, come to the boards to get encouragement, insight and support -- most of us have something to share with you to get you through it -- if you really want him.
Anyway, my two cents!
I second that, CapGirl. I've met two other caps in the last three months since dealing with my original cappy, and I'm telling you, they are all the same (my three, at least). After they have chased you, depending on if you have responded favorably, they switch up to do other things -- so now you may have to go to the "end of the line", so to speak.
They don't mind you chasing them b/c they are "busy" accomplishing something else (since now they hope they have *accomplished* getting you); and b/c they can't seem to or don't want to focus on more than one thing at time. During these times, you will have to remind them that you are there and that you still want them. Plus, they have to put some distance between himself and you, like the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder", not "out of sight out of mind." Please don't think the latter, especially if he has given you no reason (verbally) to think that he is not still interested in you.
If you are prone to emotionalism, this may frustrate you and you may make the mistake of showing your emotions through anger, hurt, tears, etc. This is not a good idea. But as a capricorn, you will most likely stay calm and in control of yourself. At any rate, CapGirl1225, come to the boards to get encouragement, insight and support -- most of us have something to share with you to get you through it -- if you really want him.
Anyway, my two cents!
Good Morning Lady's I hope this day find you all in good spirits, and enjoy this beautiful day of love.
For me, I can honestly say that today is a day of exceptance for me. I say that because I spoke with my Ex Cappy last night and this morning, not for anything other than to say hi. Yesterday when I spoke with him just to say hello and to see how he was doing. Let him know that i am still alive. (LOL) He is doing ok. it was kinda funny though when I called him I was like hello how are you doing? and he said Hi (My Name) and was like how are you doing I said fine and then I told him I was thinking about him and wanted to just say hi and that was all I said to him to take care of himself and was about to hang up and he said you know I have to come and get my tools I said I am going out of town on Friday (Ski Resort) (I did not tell him where I was going) and he said I will be there by then I said ok and hung the phone up. I told my Confidant about the conversation and ask her did she think he think I was going out of town with a man and she said yea and I said fine...I am not going to tell him no different or tell him that I am going with a bunch of women. (LOL)...
I was not going to call him today but I know me and when I feel deep in my heart that I have to call him or need to call him I call him. Well I went to get him a card that he does not know that I have, and then I called him. He answered the phone of course and I said good morning how are you doing and he said fine Happy Valentines day and I said same to you. I told him that is why I was calling him because I do still love you and I do still Care, and I hope that we get our friendship get back to the way it was because I miss it and I miss him I told him to have a good day and to take care of himself and he said you have a good day and we said bye...
Am I going to see him tonight NO...do I want to see him tonight NO...one thing I will not do is ask to see him, for one main reason I don't want to hear him say (he can't or he is busy or not give me an answer at all) that will make me mad I know it will and I can't put myself in the position to let him say that to me, or open that do for him to think that I am waiting for him and not living my life.
When I hung up the phone it felt good I told him how I felt and what I wanted from him I know it meant a lot to him I did not expect him to say anything but I know he heard what I say and he knows that i was sincere...I look at myself as a women with confidence and courage to be able to tell a man how I feel and leave it at that...that door is open and I know in order for it to be open for our friendship to get back to way it used to be and I always knew it had to come from me. Well I wait for him NO...will I call him again yea..but not until I come back from my Ski Trip. He needs to think about me being gone. (LOL)
And because of what I said to him I know have exceptance not only about how he is but what is going on between us I can know talk to him like he is another one of my male friends.
For me, I can honestly say that today is a day of exceptance for me. I say that because I spoke with my Ex Cappy last night and this morning, not for anything other than to say hi. Yesterday when I spoke with him just to say hello and to see how he was doing. Let him know that i am still alive. (LOL) He is doing ok. it was kinda funny though when I called him I was like hello how are you doing? and he said Hi (My Name) and was like how are you doing I said fine and then I told him I was thinking about him and wanted to just say hi and that was all I said to him to take care of himself and was about to hang up and he said you know I have to come and get my tools I said I am going out of town on Friday (Ski Resort) (I did not tell him where I was going) and he said I will be there by then I said ok and hung the phone up. I told my Confidant about the conversation and ask her did she think he think I was going out of town with a man and she said yea and I said fine...I am not going to tell him no different or tell him that I am going with a bunch of women. (LOL)...
I was not going to call him today but I know me and when I feel deep in my heart that I have to call him or need to call him I call him. Well I went to get him a card that he does not know that I have, and then I called him. He answered the phone of course and I said good morning how are you doing and he said fine Happy Valentines day and I said same to you. I told him that is why I was calling him because I do still love you and I do still Care, and I hope that we get our friendship get back to the way it was because I miss it and I miss him I told him to have a good day and to take care of himself and he said you have a good day and we said bye...
Am I going to see him tonight NO...do I want to see him tonight NO...one thing I will not do is ask to see him, for one main reason I don't want to hear him say (he can't or he is busy or not give me an answer at all) that will make me mad I know it will and I can't put myself in the position to let him say that to me, or open that do for him to think that I am waiting for him and not living my life.
When I hung up the phone it felt good I told him how I felt and what I wanted from him I know it meant a lot to him I did not expect him to say anything but I know he heard what I say and he knows that i was sincere...I look at myself as a women with confidence and courage to be able to tell a man how I feel and leave it at that...that door is open and I know in order for it to be open for our friendship to get back to way it used to be and I always knew it had to come from me. Well I wait for him NO...will I call him again yea..but not until I come back from my Ski Trip. He needs to think about me being gone. (LOL)
And because of what I said to him I know have exceptance not only about how he is but what is going on between us I can know talk to him like he is another one of my male friends.
I need advice,
i dont get cappys at all, the guy im talking to is so weird one day he acts like he wants me one day he doesnt, one day he calls and then i dont hear from him after 4 days.
the latest He asked me on saturday if I wanted to go for dinner with him on valentines day , i was shocked because he are not exclusive and i thouhgt he wasnt going to ask me, of course I said yea,
I have not heard from him since then , So i assume he decided not to go and im being stood up, What i dont get is why ask me i didnt even mention valentines day it wasnt necessary,
why they do this ?
i dont get cappys at all, the guy im talking to is so weird one day he acts like he wants me one day he doesnt, one day he calls and then i dont hear from him after 4 days.
the latest He asked me on saturday if I wanted to go for dinner with him on valentines day , i was shocked because he are not exclusive and i thouhgt he wasnt going to ask me, of course I said yea,
I have not heard from him since then , So i assume he decided not to go and im being stood up, What i dont get is why ask me i didnt even mention valentines day it wasnt necessary,
why they do this ?
Sweetie, the only thing I am going to tell you other than read as many of the threads you can and that will help you understand who you are dealing with.
My personal Advise, live your life as if you had never met him.
My personal Advise, live your life as if you had never met him.
Virgo1881,
He didn't forget. The day is still young, if you are worried, give it a few hours, then contact him. If he really has stood you up for no reason, that would be bad. I don't think he is that hateful.
He didn't forget. The day is still young, if you are worried, give it a few hours, then contact him. If he really has stood you up for no reason, that would be bad. I don't think he is that hateful.
it so confusing just last saturday he was talking about spending more time together, and then i dont hear from him is frustrating. he includes me in his life introducing me to his family his friends and then he disappears then he appears and now this....
Virgo1881, it's ok. He has not forgotten, please don't worry. Give him a call later, be your sweet self and tell him you're looking forward to seeing him tonight, or something positive like that. Put the guilt on him, so to speak 😉 It may help you to feel better.
Virgo 1881,
Not to discourage you. My cap asked me on a date and stood me up. Then I didn't here from him for 2 wks!! The rest is too long to talk about. Bottom line is that he made up for it BIGTIME! But as you will read. LIVE YOUR LIFE! YOU WILL NEVER LOSE A CAP MAN.....TRUST ME. I have 4 around me that I can't shake. They are more into me than I am into them. The first took me for a major ride, so the rest don't even phase me.
My advice:
Be unavailable as much as possible.
Date other men
Be straight up with him
Play with the ego (particularly when it comes to sex) Big insecurity spot!
Always look your best in there presence
ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN! (Never show emotion) This is key!
Peace
Not to discourage you. My cap asked me on a date and stood me up. Then I didn't here from him for 2 wks!! The rest is too long to talk about. Bottom line is that he made up for it BIGTIME! But as you will read. LIVE YOUR LIFE! YOU WILL NEVER LOSE A CAP MAN.....TRUST ME. I have 4 around me that I can't shake. They are more into me than I am into them. The first took me for a major ride, so the rest don't even phase me.
My advice:
Be unavailable as much as possible.
Date other men
Be straight up with him
Play with the ego (particularly when it comes to sex) Big insecurity spot!
Always look your best in there presence
ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN! (Never show emotion) This is key!
Peace
Virgo1881-
Just put in one (1) lighthearted call here pronto, about dinner tonite. Don't act panicked, insecure, angry, just curious and trying to figure out your plans, but don't outright try to make him jealous. Hurry, hurry.
Just put in one (1) lighthearted call here pronto, about dinner tonite. Don't act panicked, insecure, angry, just curious and trying to figure out your plans, but don't outright try to make him jealous. Hurry, hurry.
I agree with CapGirl ... call him. If he doesn't show up, it's on him and you can walk away in control -- not mad. You won't be played again like that b/c when he asks you out again, you remind him of the last time and tell him how it affected you and you will not set yourself up again to be let down. If he stands you up again with no excuse or a lame one, kick his azz to the curb, and don't ever look back.
Taurus36,
When you said: "ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN! (Never show emotion) This is key!"
Do you mean "act like you DON'T give a damn"?
When you said: "ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN! (Never show emotion) This is key!"
Do you mean "act like you DON'T give a damn"?
Virgo1881,
I am dealing with Cap for a year now. As you ca see I am a Virgo, too.
Let me share what I have learned.
Caps can be very self absorbed. Something may have some up and he completely forgot that he asked you on a date. It was rude of him not to let you know. They cannot multitask. You will have to gently teach your Cap that this is NOT acceptable and his rudeness will nOT be tolerated. No need to rant, rave, scream or kick about it. But I would call him and let him know that in the future when he makes definite plans with you that you:
a. expect him to follow through OR
b. if he cannot keep the date, then he needs to call you right away and let you know so that you can make other plans.
If your Cap is really into you, he WILL go along with your program. Usually, you only have to give them instructions once. They are fast learners when they want to be. However, if you have to repeat yourself, do it. Sometimes you have to make these guys respect you.
And, in the future, when he says, "let's do such and such", ask him what time. They don't like to be pinned down, but too bad. Let him know YOUR time is just as valuable as his. Give him a certain amount of grace time (say 15 minutes) and if he doesn't show up or call to postpone, go without him. I would call him and let him know that I was leaving his azzzz and he can catch up with me whenever...
Don't be afraid to stand up to him. If he really likes you, he will back down. Once you get him to respect you, that's half the battle. If a Cap man does not respect you, forget it.
Hope this helps.
I am dealing with Cap for a year now. As you ca see I am a Virgo, too.
Let me share what I have learned.
Caps can be very self absorbed. Something may have some up and he completely forgot that he asked you on a date. It was rude of him not to let you know. They cannot multitask. You will have to gently teach your Cap that this is NOT acceptable and his rudeness will nOT be tolerated. No need to rant, rave, scream or kick about it. But I would call him and let him know that in the future when he makes definite plans with you that you:
a. expect him to follow through OR
b. if he cannot keep the date, then he needs to call you right away and let you know so that you can make other plans.
If your Cap is really into you, he WILL go along with your program. Usually, you only have to give them instructions once. They are fast learners when they want to be. However, if you have to repeat yourself, do it. Sometimes you have to make these guys respect you.
And, in the future, when he says, "let's do such and such", ask him what time. They don't like to be pinned down, but too bad. Let him know YOUR time is just as valuable as his. Give him a certain amount of grace time (say 15 minutes) and if he doesn't show up or call to postpone, go without him. I would call him and let him know that I was leaving his azzzz and he can catch up with me whenever...
Don't be afraid to stand up to him. If he really likes you, he will back down. Once you get him to respect you, that's half the battle. If a Cap man does not respect you, forget it.
Hope this helps.
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