cap/scorp

well, i had a reunion of sorts with my scorp. for as much as i missed him, i didn't feel the butterfly thing i thought i would when i saw him alone. yes, we did the deed and i just don't think it was at all like it used to be. i guess he took the desire out of me when he left the first time. i guess caps only take so much. then it just dies. funny though, i would like to try again just to see if it was nerves that got in the way. we used to be so romantic, this time it was just physical. the depth was gone. i really dig depth and passion. to feel something is really real. caps are romantic, in spite of what some say.

i had my gal pal party and it was a blast. i'm home now and and i miss is my scorp. please help me ..i love him (the scorp) so much i can't breathe. i don't know how to get beyond this. this is the story. i've been with this cancer for 12 years, and i love him for everything that we have done and gone though. i still love him, but i've had this affair with this scorp. only because my cancer has not fullfilled my sex life. this is so hard for me to say....i told my cancer that i was moving on last spring and i had a wonderful affair with a scorp who is younger then me. 17 yrs to be exact. we traveled over the summer(my scorp and me)and then broke it off. we got together last week, and i thought i was over with him. i went out tonight with my gal pals and all i thought about was my scorp. i am back with my cancer and i do love him, but i can't get over my scorp. i miss him terribly. please help me. i know there is nothing you can do. i just need somewhere to vent. thanks for listening.
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That's okay Pato, im hearin ya. They make an impact on our lives. I'm hearin ya, so if it makes you feel better there is somebody on the other side of the world feeling the exact same way you are, so maybe we can hold hands and get through this together.

hi libragirl...thanks for the kind support... i hate feeling weak or acting weak because of a man, but sometimes he just gets the best of me. it's such a deep feeling. i hope he will find it in his heart to see what i'm going through. i hope i can just get my head together about it all. emotions suck. i envy people that can just turn it all off.

We can't turn them off. It's more healthy to have emotions in our day and age anyway; they're a rare commodity. Don't you know what you have is gold?

He may see it in his heart to see what you are going through but it still may not persuade him. And also, you are not acting 'weak'. It is stronger to show your emotions and to acknowledge them. Especially to acknowledge them. The weak ones are the ones who can't do this and we must have pity on their souls.

Hey, you are a thinking and feeling person and you are alive. I know it's hard and it feels like hell. There's nothing i can say to alleviate that pain. Just know that others feel like that out there too.

Be kind to yourself and have a good weekend,

Libragirl.

thanks again libragirl for your words of wisdom. i'm so glad i found this site with such kind, funny, opinionated (which i feel is a good thing) people to talk too.
i'm amazed no one jumped on the age difference thing. i happen to be a very young spirited middle aged woman. people always think i'm in my early 30's, when in fact i'm in my late 40's. my scorp is 32. i really have a hard time with people accepting the age difference thing when it is the other way around. i, in fact, was with a man 5 for years who was 17 years older then me. we split and he then married a woman a year younger then me. all acceptable to everyone. some people couldn't accept me with this younger man, but i know it's only what i think that matters. i am accepting the fact that it's over. i just miss him, that's all.

Well Pato, i am not biased towards age differences. It only becomes an issue with me when somebody consistently goes for somebody significantly younger than themselves, for example, a middle aged man always going for younger girls, because i think it's then a problem. As for the one off and two off situations, it's not a problem with me. Who cares who you sleep with? It's your business and as long as people are happy is all i care about. The only thing i have said with age differences is that there might be fundamental differences in life-stages or something, but apart from that love is love, lust is lust and 'like' is like.

And i see what you mean about the hypocracy of society that it is okay for an older man to go out with a younger woman. Of course; it's a male oriented society. I am starting to get angry now!

It's okay to miss someone.

i know what you mean, aprilbaby, but i'm still doin' ok. i accepted the consequences. i think i need to be the one who chooses that i don't want him anymore. he chose to end it first and that irks me, because i know he still wanted me, he just thought that we had too many obstacles to our union, so he gave up. wanting to connect with him was just a test to see if he was still attracted to me. which he was, and is. but if he is departing just because he thinks he can't "cut the mustard" so to speak...then i must find something in him, besides that fact, that will make me not want to be with him anymore. if i didn't sleep with him, i would still have all these fantasies in my head that would perpetuate the illusion of love. sleeping with him, grounded me into reality. keeping in touch with him until whatever is between us is truly gone in me.. i hope i'm making sense.