uncleVirgo4u
@uncleVirgo4u
11 YearsVirgo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 39 · Topics: 5
Capricorn Advice
Posted by Everything
1. Don't think it's insane at all. I would've done the same. I trust my instincts. He can have contact with her only at work. And then I reacted to this "He insisted he wasn't attracted to her, but also made comments that she was a "good friend who understood him." I would believe he isn't attracted to her. But why does he need a good friend who understands him when he hays you. My personal opinion.
2. I don't know if its trustworthy but i wouldn't like it. If it felt weird i wouldn't accept it. But if he managed to convince me theres nothing i wouldn't think about it. I think this was strange though: "He said that before him and I were serious, he was physical with this girl, but now they are just friends. "What does that mean? Was it while you and him were dating? Not ok for me. He doesn't need to be friends with her.
3. yes i think so. Cause i would stay faaaaaar away from a woman's man. unless he wrote to me and i honestly felt it was 100% friendly and he for example needed help and called me "friend" or something and in that case i'd always mention his girlfriend to let him know that i know he has one and that i see him and her as one and that i respect them and that i have boundaries. i'd often refer to him as "you guys", aka "you two", and id try to be her friend as well and show her I'm not interested in her man, but i prefer to not have anything at all with people's men.
Damn girl, you got my back. Thank you.
Posted by scorchedearth
you have the right to say "i don't want to hear about her." you do not have the right to say "i don't want you talking to her."
that's a gross kind of controlling.
everyone feels that way at some point. that you just wish that your partner/interest would just never talk to someone you're jealous of ever again. that's perfectly normal. but trying to police their friends is not okay.
As a virgo, I do find myself quite controlling....
You have every right to be concerned. Ive been the "other woman" many times and we werent talking about the weather 🙂
"Capricorns-
1. Am I being insane?
2. Do we consider this trustworthy behavior from the Capricorn male?
3. Cap girls-do you think she is secretly into him? (because I do...)"
1. Of course not. You have the right to your feelings. I think it's all a question of what your gut feeling tells you and what you can handle. I quite understand the need for friends outside a relationship. I could never be with a man who did not accept that I have friends - male and female - who I hang out with, including exes. I don't dump my friends because I happen to be in a relationship. If my man can not trust me(and he can), then there is nothing to build on anyway for me. I realise that it is a difficult situation for him, but it's something I need or I'm rather alone. But that's me(and my sag venus...🙂).
But this is about you and what you want. First of all, do you trust him? If you don't, you're screwed anyway. Your gut feeling(always listen to your gut feeling) tells you that there is something more between them, and maybe there is, and there is no way at least I would put up with that sort of thing in your position. But then again, there might not be(sometimes we get paranoid because we are scared to lose someone, right.). I think you need to talk to him again about this and feel your way forward. To ask him to stop contacting her is probably not going to help you. Personally, I must admit I would get pissed at such a request and find it controlling and as a statment of non-trust towards me and I would seriously consider if this was a person I really wanted to be with. But again, that's just me...and my sag venus.
2. No one can answer this quesstion. Maybe he is trustworthy, maybe he isn't. I call and text my friends extensively and there is nothing suspicious going on, but maybe he is not on that page. Again, talk to him and go with your gut feeling.
3. No one can answer this either. She may be or not. But's it's dangerous to blindly assume things and be overly paranoid - that has broken up many relationships, imo.
Just keep communicating with him and feel your way and you will figure this out. But first of all: Ask yourself if you can handle a relationship on those premises or not ... considering he is indeed trustworthy, ofc. Good luck!
1. Am I being insane?
2. Do we consider this trustworthy behavior from the Capricorn male?
3. Cap girls-do you think she is secretly into him? (because I do...)"
1. Of course not. You have the right to your feelings. I think it's all a question of what your gut feeling tells you and what you can handle. I quite understand the need for friends outside a relationship. I could never be with a man who did not accept that I have friends - male and female - who I hang out with, including exes. I don't dump my friends because I happen to be in a relationship. If my man can not trust me(and he can), then there is nothing to build on anyway for me. I realise that it is a difficult situation for him, but it's something I need or I'm rather alone. But that's me(and my sag venus...🙂).
But this is about you and what you want. First of all, do you trust him? If you don't, you're screwed anyway. Your gut feeling(always listen to your gut feeling) tells you that there is something more between them, and maybe there is, and there is no way at least I would put up with that sort of thing in your position. But then again, there might not be(sometimes we get paranoid because we are scared to lose someone, right.). I think you need to talk to him again about this and feel your way forward. To ask him to stop contacting her is probably not going to help you. Personally, I must admit I would get pissed at such a request and find it controlling and as a statment of non-trust towards me and I would seriously consider if this was a person I really wanted to be with. But again, that's just me...and my sag venus.
2. No one can answer this quesstion. Maybe he is trustworthy, maybe he isn't. I call and text my friends extensively and there is nothing suspicious going on, but maybe he is not on that page. Again, talk to him and go with your gut feeling.
3. No one can answer this either. She may be or not. But's it's dangerous to blindly assume things and be overly paranoid - that has broken up many relationships, imo.
Just keep communicating with him and feel your way and you will figure this out. But first of all: Ask yourself if you can handle a relationship on those premises or not ... considering he is indeed trustworthy, ofc. Good luck!
Posted by Everything
1. Don't think it's insane at all. I would've done the same. I trust my instincts. He can have contact with her only at work. And then I reacted to this "He insisted he wasn't attracted to her, but also made comments that she was a "good friend who understood him." I would believe he isn't attracted to her. But why does he need a good friend who understands him when he hays you. My personal opinion.
2. I don't know if its trustworthy but i wouldn't like it. If it felt weird i wouldn't accept it. But if he managed to convince me theres nothing i wouldn't think about it. I think this was strange though: "He said that before him and I were serious, he was physical with this girl, but now they are just friends. "What does that mean? Was it while you and him were dating? Not ok for me. He doesn't need to be friends with her.
3. yes i think so. Cause i would stay faaaaaar away from a woman's man. unless he wrote to me and i honestly felt it was 100% friendly and he for example needed help and called me "friend" or something and in that case i'd always mention his girlfriend to let him know that i know he has one and that i see him and her as one and that i respect them and that i have boundaries. i'd often refer to him as "you guys", aka "you two", and id try to be her friend as well and show her I'm not interested in her man, but i prefer to not have anything at all with people's men.
+1000
No, it really isn't insane. If I were you I would have reacted the same way
Well, if something was going on, he wouldn't have told you about their history. I think it says a lot that he told you.
He's not testing you, but you can test yourself to determine how much you trust him. It doesn't matter how much she is into him, the fact of the matter is how he handles her and how much you trust him. So, is he trustworthy?
You can't forbid their contact, but you can explain to him that you are uncomfortable with it and prefer they didn't have contact. Ask him to put himself in your shoes. See what he does about that. That's a test for him. If he respects your feelings he will tell her to stop. Just remember, he can't control what she does, he can only control what he does.
He does have to work with her, so he can't be a jerk to her without consequences in the workplace. THAT is why we shouldn't mess around at work.
He's not testing you, but you can test yourself to determine how much you trust him. It doesn't matter how much she is into him, the fact of the matter is how he handles her and how much you trust him. So, is he trustworthy?
You can't forbid their contact, but you can explain to him that you are uncomfortable with it and prefer they didn't have contact. Ask him to put himself in your shoes. See what he does about that. That's a test for him. If he respects your feelings he will tell her to stop. Just remember, he can't control what she does, he can only control what he does.
He does have to work with her, so he can't be a jerk to her without consequences in the workplace. THAT is why we shouldn't mess around at work.
truecap i love you
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Capricorns-
1. Am I being insane?
2. Do we consider this trustworthy behavior from the Capricorn male?
3. Cap girls-do you think she is secretly into him? (because I do...)