Capricorn Males PLEASE HELP! Tell me about guy

I'm currently seeing a Capricorn guy for the last couple of months,I'm a cancer. I can't seem to figure him out as it times he seems very interested & then at times he just seems like whatever. It seems I have to always initiate all contact like texting him or calling him & he always seem to respond right away or answer & he seems happy to hear from me but he does not do it first which frustrates me. I told him &he said he would try to do better but that with his business he is so used to people contacting him but he told me he likes it & be happy when I call him or text him. When we are together he is always attentive to me,listens to me,kisses me passionately,wants to know how I'm doing etc.I feel a strong connection to him and I feel he does too. He has taken me out to dinner on 3 dates.

We have not had sex yet but I told him I wanted to wait & he said he is willing to wait as long as I need him to. He told me last time I seen him that he is not going anywhere unless I want him to go and he asked me do you. He has told me about he child hood & talked about what he wants out of life in which we share some of the same dreams. Does it seem this guy is interested in me & is it common for them to always want you to contact them? He always initiate getting together once I contact him ..he always ask me when can he see me again and he lets me plan the time and dates in advance.

I don't understand what the question is. Seems like he's there and he's not going anywhere.

It does concern me that you're the only one initiating. WRONG MOVE. He's the man, that's his job. Women should NOT be the only initiator. MAKE HIM PUT OUT SOME EFFORT!!! Caps want to work for what they get. Cap men are traditional like that. Otherwise, you're chasing him and when a man doesn't have to put out effort, they don't develop feelings.

Even in a 2 1/2 year relationship, I only contact first about every 4th time. I let him do the contacting.

Hey Truecap,sounds like good advise here and I thought this was true for the most part on the contacting first thing. I was given confusing information about the contact thing. I usually never iniate in my past relationships and this one is so different lol. I was told that if he don't contact you that you should contact him to let him know you are interested like just saying hi or hey or something. Is that still iniating if 4 or 5 days go by and I text hi or how are you? So do you think that by what I said that he is invested enough that I can change this around now and make him text first? Also do you think that when he said he is not going anywhere that that is probley sincere because it sure felt that way?

I guess I should rephrase what I said before. I have not always iniated all contact because he has contacted me first a little then half the time lol

Cant say there are any hard n fast rules here for me. I'm not the one who pursues, but I will try to initiate communication if thats what I want. I've been the initiator most of the time or all of the time, half the time, and almost not at all. Just depends on the person and how close I am to them.

Here's one consistency I will share about me and initiating contact...
Whether I'm the one doing it or not, the more I know you and the more attached I become, the more I will want to do it. So over time, the closer I get, the more I will do it.

I definitely initiated things with my bf. I approached him, asked for his number, suggested hanging out. NONE of that is normal for me. But he took it from there. For months he initiated all communication and pursued the relationship. It wasn't til after a while that I even realized how much he was initiating. It wasn't a big deal. Then again I'm the chick and he's the guy. But now that he's been uber busy with work, I do most of the initiating and planning. Ain't no thang. I am happy to. I think it's a very capricorn thing to love "doing" for your significant other.

When it comes to a solid relationship, I think you just pick up the slack in certain areas when your partner cant for whatever reason. Trust that if they are a good person, they'll do the same when life makes it tough for you to do it. Seems like you have his undivided attention when you ask for it. Is it so bad having to pick up the phone and have a man thats there when you call?

My gut tells me that after a bit of time, the closer you two get (if thats what you both want) you'll see him initiate more contact.

I feel like this aspect of a relationship... "Who's the one to initiate contact" ...is an ebb n flow thing. This isnt something that should make or break two people. If it is, then something is off.

Posted by nsm625
Hey Truecap,sounds like good advise here and I thought this was true for the most part on the contacting first thing. I was given confusing information about the contact thing. I usually never iniate in my past relationships and this one is so different lol. I was told that if he don't contact you that you should contact him to let him know you are interested like just saying hi or hey or something. Is that still iniating if 4 or 5 days go by and I text hi or how are you? So do you think that by what I said that he is invested enough that I can change this around now and make him text first? Also do you think that when he said he is not going anywhere that that is probley sincere because it sure felt that way?

You initiate ONCE. Then let them take it from there. Perhaps on an OCCASIONAL absence (for me, its 1-2 weeks) you can text a hey or hi (I hate that, by the way - get to the point. Joke or something humorous is better). After that you let them contact. No more initating after that. If they go two weeks without a word, see ya!

Next time you see him, just tell him to text you about plans. Like "text me by Thursday about plans on Saturday" or if you don't want to be that bold just say "I'll be looking forward to your call" and smile sweetly. It is the green light, but puts him in the driver's seat.

Posted by CreepyPants
Cant say there are any hard n fast rules here for me. I'm not the one who pursues, but I will try to initiate communication if thats what I want. I've been the initiator most of the time or all of the time, half the time, and almost not at all. Just depends on the person and how close I am to them.

Here's one consistency I will share about me and initiating contact...
Whether I'm the one doing it or not, the more I know you and the more attached I become, the more I will want to do it. So over time, the closer I get, the more I will do it.

I definitely initiated things with my bf. I approached him, asked for his number, suggested hanging out. NONE of that is normal for me. But he took it from there. For months he initiated all communication and pursued the relationship. It wasn't til after a while that I even realized how much he was initiating. It wasn't a big deal. Then again I'm the chick and he's the guy. But now that he's been uber busy with work, I do most of the initiating and planning. Ain't no thang. I am happy to. I think it's a very capricorn thing to love "doing" for your significant other.

When it comes to a solid relationship, I think you just pick up the slack in certain areas when your partner cant for whatever reason. Trust that if they are a good person, they'll do the same when life makes it tough for you to do it. Seems like you have his undivided attention when you ask for it. Is it so bad having to pick up the phone and have a man thats there when you call?

My gut tells me that after a bit of time, the closer you two get (if thats what you both want) you'll see him initiate more contact.

I feel like this aspect of a relationship... "Who's the one to initiate contact" ...is an ebb n flow thing. This isnt something that should make or break two people. If it is, then something is off.

Yes, in a solid, established relationship it doesn't matter who the initiator is. I guess we just have the pattern where he contacts me. I don't need to contact him, but I do sometimes if I want to make plans.

I'm usually more forward when it comes to initiating contact too. As for pursuing, I'm a lot more traditional. Men pursue. But I have a hard time letting go of an impulse to communicate.

And yea... New relationships were always back n forth with it. Guys being the sex that holds feelings closer to the chest, it's just easier knowing where their hearts are if they consistently initiate everything.

For nsm, so far from what she's said... It seems like this is one minor drawback against some great qualities. Probably worth overlooking for a little bit.

You guys I THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your wonderful and fast responses. Truecap I will try that because he did tell me he didn't want to bug me because he know I stay busy which is usually not Cancers lol. I do my own business so I do stay busy a lot and he told me once that in his exact words" You are busy and I'm busy and that is what is probley going to kill us" meaning the relationship. I always tell him I don't making time in my busy schedule and expect the same.

Posted by nsm625
You guys I THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your wonderful and fast responses. Truecap I will try that because he did tell me he didn't want to bug me because he know I stay busy which is usually not Cancers lol. I do my own business so I do stay busy a lot and he told me once that in his exact words" You are busy and I'm busy and that is what is probley going to kill us" meaning the relationship. I always tell him I don't making time in my busy schedule and expect the same.

I can see that. If you're busy all the time and he never knows when a good time to call/text you is, then I can see how he would hold back and wait on you to contact him when you've got time. If that is from a conversation you've had, then he's telling you why he isn't initiating. That changes things and makes complete sense.

I didn't realize this is something yall have discussed. Maybe check and verify that with him. He won't mind you asking.

Each couple can establish their own rules and see what works for them.

And I agree with creepy, what you've told us otherwise sounds pretty great! It does sound like he's really into you. So, maybe we can loosen up on what I said about contacting. 🙂

Posted by truecap

Posted by nsm625
You guys I THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your wonderful and fast responses. Truecap I will try that because he did tell me he didn't want to bug me because he know I stay busy which is usually not Cancers lol. I do my own business so I do stay busy a lot and he told me once that in his exact words" You are busy and I'm busy and that is what is probley going to kill us" meaning the relationship. I always tell him I don't making time in my busy schedule and expect the same.

I can see that. If you're busy all the time and he never knows when a good time to call/text you is, then I can see how he would hold back and wait on you to contact him when you've got time. If that is from a conversation you've had, then he's telling you why he isn't initiating. That changes things and makes complete sense.

I didn't realize this is something yall have discussed. Maybe check and verify that with him. He won't mind you asking.

Each couple can establish their own rules and see what works for them.

And I agree with creepy, what you've told us otherwise sounds pretty great! It does sound like he's really into you. So, maybe we can loosen up on what I said about contacting. 🙂

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So he doesn't want to bother you when you're working. If that is the case, then he's being considerate of your time and space, just as he would want you to be of his if he were as busy as you.

You guys are SUPER GREAT :-) You don't know how much you guys have helped me. Also if any Cap guys can put some more input it would be great to hear a guys point of view also.