Capricorn man and pisces woman - any future for us?

Dear Cap men and women, I'd like to ask your opinion on my story with a cap man. I've been reading so much about them but I'm still not sure if I should wait any longer or not. I read that one has to be patient and wait for a cap man to commit but how long. Being a pisces woman it's difficult for me to decide when is enough. The point does come for me too but it's always much later than for others and than I'm very bitter. As a background info, my last longterm relationship was with an aries man whom I left after five years even though the signs were there much earlier but I didn't want to acknowledge them. As a result I am now very suspicious of men, I take every little thing out of proportion and think that they are signs that he's not interested, just wants to use me etc. I hope you get the point.

So I met this cap guy at work but for a long time we didn't know each other but I could always see in his eyes that he liked me. Finally in March last year we got into the same group of people and went out together. After that he was always emailing me and in a very clear but non-agressive way was asking me out for a drink. I was not at all interested and always ignored this part of the email until finally in May I gave in. We went out for dinner and drinks but it was never really said that it was a date but it was clear from his behaviour that he wanted more. He was very shy to kiss me and never pushed for sex until I gave the green light. It was the same later on. He was always in contact with me, everyday. We didn't meet too much, I'd say on average once a week. He was always busy with work and other stuff. On weekends he was travelling abroad for work. We are in Europe. He also has some serious legal issues with his brother's wife and the kids (he passed away two years ago) and other projects outside work. He can ignore friends as well so I know that he's not busy only for me. Another important thing is that his contract at work was renewed in June in the last minute (he was stressed about it) but only for six months so he was always stressed about this over the last months. It became worse and worse. Over the winter months communication dropped but it was still regular and came most of the time from him. If I initiated he always responded and was very happy to hear from me. Over the Christmas break I noticed that he disappeared and I thought that was it, he decided he didn't want me anymore. He disappeared again two weeks ago when he was going back and forth from here and his new place, a few hours away in a different country where he got a job. He disappeared from others too, I found out. Then reappread last week, bringing me nice drinks and he's been in contact everyday since.

He never wanted to talk about what's between us, at the beginning he said he just wanted to get to know me, which is fair enough and why do I want to put a label on it. It could grow into something beautiful he said (it was in August so only three months into it).

Later a few times over text we had some arguments because I got insecure from his behaviour and I realised it straight away and said sorry. We always got back to normal as if nothing happened. A couple of weeks ago we went to a spa and somehow the conversation got to this point again. He became very angry (with a poker face of course) that I didn’t like, he said if I put the knife to his neck then he doesn’t want anything from me etc. I thought great I messed it up completely. We stayed on and I was impressed by both of us because: I put my hand on him asking if it’s OK, he said yes, then he started to massage my feet, then when we sat down in another sauna he always hugged me more than before, somehow became closer to me and I also didn’t withdraw but did the same. We didn’t talk much at first then we went back to normal. He took me home and the coming days always responded to my texts. This little incident was a beautiful thing for me and I wonder what it means from a Capricorn point of view.
Previously we had a discussion about how things will go from now on, which was that he’d like me to visit him in the new country on weekends and he’ll also come back so we can meet when he’s here.

He’s still busy with finding a place to live, settling in the new job, sorting out his stuff here so I understand that it’s a bit of a mess still. He told me in the past twice to wait and he’ll come to me very strong and it can be even too much for meïŠ I don’t know if I believe it because it’s been eight months now for all this to go on. Or is it just wrong timing due to the issues at work? He’s a workaholic of course. He did say that if he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t even spend a minute of his time with me. Sex was never the main thing and when I decided not to have it he didn’t care, everything went on the same way i.e. communication and meeting up. We haven’t had sex for a long time now although we didn’t see each other a lot recently either but when we did it was going out for dinner or to the spa. I get gifts from him and I also buy him some sometimes.

He’s very secretive about his life and whereabouts but doesn’t demand anything from me either. So due to this and all the other things, I decided to take it as friendship (a bit more OK) because I thought too much into it. This way I can handle it much better and I don’t expect anything. I will also not allow sex anymore. By the way from the little I know from him he had long and serious relationships but he got hurt a lot. In some of his weaker moments he said that he’s afraid of life (love) but he needs it.
What do you think of all this? Should I wait and see what happens when things settle down or am I wasting my time? How much time do they need to commit? Sorry about the long story but I wanted to give some details.

It depends on what is.going on in our.lives. he seems to have a lot.of stress going on right now with career, where to live..but.you seem to be his saving grace...when you're not pressuring him, he enjoys yoir company a great deal. We have to be certain about our own life before we bring someone else into it. He said he's going to.come after you full force once he's settled, so believe that bcuz he's right, we don't tend to waste time on people we don't see any kind of future with. For our sake and theirs.

Caps like to prepare for everything bcuz if we plan and prepare for situations and relationships can be.no.different, we feel more confident in ourselves and the situation if we are well prepared going in. We just feel more settled and can give you more of us and our time.

I know it can seem selfish asking you to wait, which I'm not sure if he's asked you, but I'm sure that's what he wants, and why he makes time for you, even though he may be busy and stresses.

Also, Cap/Pisces is a great match.. some people say on here, is the best match for Pisces.

Thank you both for your answers! What you wrote about planning seems to fit him🙂 and he loves that I'm orderly at work and like planning🙂

He did say or implied with his gestures that he likes my company in stressful times e.g. going to the spa is one of those things where he like to go alone to relax and apparently trusts me that's why he takes me. The last time he got angry was because we wanted to relax and I ruined the atmosphere with my comments/questions.

He teaches me to be patient and see that men can be different (regardless whether it works out or not) because I'm used to selfish men who expect me to move around Europe for them and other stuff yet I get nothing in return...His whole behaviour was strange and new to me because it was slow, not demanding (at least in certain things). When he said that he can understand if I don't want to stay in touch with him now that he moves, to me sounded like he didn't care at all but I decided not to be so negative. He told me in the past that he cares even if it doesn't look like that and I read it about them a lot. When we're at his place, he's the most caring person I've ever met and sex was always so deep, where we were so connected...I never experienced it before!

In one of his weaker moments he told me he wants to make me happy by loving me unconditionally...and he always said that he likes me a lot. Maybe just sweet words🙂

All this time I've been listening to my instinct and it was telling me to stay...of course with those moments of insecurity but hey...I hope it's telling me the right thing🙂

And now the more negative things🙂 I'm not too optimistic about this thing and I think it'll just die out and it was just words that he wants to stay in contact. I don't understand why he doesn't want to see me more, if anything it's less as time goes by. He never said he missed me...sometimes he's busy and ignores other friends too but other times he has time for them but not for me. He doesn't seem to care how his actions hurt me or what I'd like, just does what he wants anyway. I can understand that someone's stressed but so much?? I don't understand the way capricorns' mind works. Or it's just as simple as "He's not that into you". After such a long time I tend towards this because I don't want to be naive anymore and believe words..

Posted by Kati
And now the more negative things🙂 I'm not too optimistic about this thing and I think it'll just die out and it was just words that he wants to stay in contact. I don't understand why he doesn't want to see me more, if anything it's less as time goes by. He never said he missed me...sometimes he's busy and ignores other friends too but other times he has time for them but not for me. He doesn't seem to care how his actions hurt me or what I'd like, just does what he wants anyway. I can understand that someone's stressed but so much?? I don't understand the way capricorns' mind works. Or it's just as simple as "He's not that into you". After such a long time I tend towards this because I don't want to be naive anymore and believe words..

First and foremost, we are not there to examine how he really acts so I can only give you some insight. Only you would know how it really is and how it makes you feel. How you feel here is the most important ok.

From what you're saying.. I think he is very busy, I tend to delve myself into my work, responsibility and bills, making a life does not go away..even when friends and loved ones are wanting our time. We have to take care of life's responsibilities first, otherwise we won't let go amd fully enjoy ourselves. There would be this nagging feeling. Sometimes, though I will set responsibikities aside, and have fun but then I'd disappear from people bcuz now I'm behind and need to focus on what I need to do.

You mentioned that when he disappears from you, he also disappear from friends, so maybe he's had to set time aside to reconnect with them as well. I knkw I've had some making up to do in the past with friends, bcuz ive disappeared and neglected them while I put my.focus on responsibilities. Our relationships are important to us, when we have to disappear sometimes bcuz we have to, we do like to make it up to them, if they are important to us. Life can be a juggling act sometimes.

Again though, if this relationship isn't giving you the asurance you need, then voice it, communicate to him that you need more reassurance if he wants you to wait.
You need to know if it will all be worth it.

Thanks Greentea, I agree with you that you can only give insight🙂