confused over cappy

3 days with not hearing from him, i don't get it. I have text once each day.

He's regrouping and getting a hold of himself.

So, jus give him time? Im cool with that, but, part of me is scared, he will just forget bout me, or never talk to me again

Men have a relationship process which includes an emotional process and if you don't get that then you're going to be confused all the time.

He's not a woman, we can pretty much stay connected every day all day when we express our emotions but a lot of men cannot do that because it's not normal for them to do that. Losing control tends to be painful and/or scary. Loss of self, loss of control (especially this one), loss of freedom etc etc is considered weak.

Don't be needy. Nagging him for communication once a day will only demonstrate he's losing his freedom and he'll be miserable with you if you can't take him being gone for a few days. He need to see and feel like he can go and you'll be just as content/happy with or without him.

Go do your life, get into your hobbies/interest, he'll be back and if he doesn't come back then he's bullshitting you.

Right...

Thanx.

Yeah... Seems strange

Thats what i am wondering.. is this typical cap behaviour?

Posted by Arietteheart

Posted by tiki33
Men have a relationship process which includes an emotional process and if you don't get that then you're going to be confused all the time.

He's not a woman, we can pretty much stay connected every day all day when we express our emotions but a lot of men cannot do that because it's not normal for them to do that. Losing control tends to be painful and/or scary. Loss of self, loss of control (especially this one), loss of freedom etc etc is considered weak.

Don't be needy. Nagging him for communication once a day will only demonstrate he's losing his freedom and he'll be miserable with you if you can't take him being gone for a few days. He need to see and feel like he can go and you'll be just as content/happy with or without him.

Go do your life, get into your hobbies/interest, he'll be back and if he doesn't come back then he's bullshitting you.

I'm conflicted with this though, how long is too long to wait? He can process his thoughts and still keep in touch with a "good morning-have a good day" or something like that.

click to expand

My rule of thumb was if it was two weeks of no contact, then I moved on.

Three days isn't a big deal, especially in the beginning of a relationship. Have you contacted him?

Also, once a cap lets out their vulnerable side, we have a tendency to withdraw out of fear, embarrassment, what not. Me, for one, waits to see what you do with the information and then I decide whether to share more or construct a shield.

He may be waiting on you to contact him. That's why I asked if you have.

And, how long have yall been together? That makes a difference too.

I have left a msg each day. Umm.. we jus met a month and half ago

It is ldr, havent actually met, but do skype, text, talk.

Wait and let him contact you then.

In the beginnning stages of a relationship, let the man do the pursuing. Show interest, like you're happy to hear from him, etc, but don't always be the one making first contact. My rule of thumb was I only initiated contact every 4th time.

Let them worry about you not contacting instead of you worrying about them.

Well, this:
"Sat tells me he cares about me, wants to be with me. Very sweet and sincere. Says hes lucky cos he knows hr is only one in my heart.i make him feel helpless"

is a little too good to be true since you haven't met isn't it?

Right.. yeah.. i think he does care, but, affraid, he will figure it out, no doubt

Idk... Its not like i expect much from this, i am jus wondering where he comun from... Could be jus big bs

I have left a msg each day. Umm.. we jus met a month and half ago

We met online 6 wks ago and talk, text , skype daily. Every weekend we spend hours talkn/skyping

Lol... Singing to the choir.. i can go without msg'n him. Take back my control anyway. Yeah, right though, he can chase me now.. if he ever calls again.

And if he doesn't... NEXT!

Welcome to the wonderful world of Capricorn men 🙂

I have never had any relations with Capricorn man before lol... except my dad is a Capricorn. They actually have same birthday... How scary is that!

Posted by raerae2one8
I have never had any relations with Capricorn man before lol... except my dad is a Capricorn. They actually have same birthday... How scary is that!

Pretty scary! LOL!

Ask your dad his opinion?? Maybe?

Hes passsed away.. maybe i gotta think bout my.. dads behavior

Posted by raerae2one8
Hes passsed away.. maybe i gotta think bout my.. dads behavior

God rest his soul.

I often think of what my father would have told me. It helps alot.

Thank you.. yeah, its hard not having a good male in your life.

Immma aries, i cant sit around for to long.. but, if i never hear from him again, it'll bother me like crazy... Like how could he just walk away.. but if he anything like my dad, he will be thinking, sulking... Over what? Cos we care about each other wanna c each other. But he is affraid, that even if we do see each other for a week or 2, we will be heartbroke & sad 2 seperate. He doesnt see a chance for us but saddness. He is very sensitive and very practical. I think if he never talks to me again, its because he feels too close and feels it better too just move on. If he does contact me, its all good and we can continue being friends. Whats everyones elses thoughts?

I think you're putting too much thought and analytical energy into someone you've never met in real life.


This is it right here: "He doesnt see a chance for us but saddness. He is very sensitive and very practical".

A lot of capricorns just don't see the feasibility of a long distance relationship. What's the point, ya know? The liklihood of a long distance relationship succeeding isn't very practical or realistic. It's more like a fantasy relationship where you can build someone up in your head to be what you want them to be. For it to progress, you have to have a lot of time together, shared experiences and eventually one of you will have to move to be closer to each other. Just not practical.

Now, I can't speak for all of us because there are some of us who have had success in it and see no problems with it.

I guess I'm just a different generation that just can't comprehend the benefits of it in terms that are realistic. I want a man I can touch, smell, feel and have experiences with. Forgive me if you think I'm being negative. I don't mean to be.

Just don't rule out anyone local and miss an opportunity because of a virtual relationship. That's all I'm trying to say, I guess.

I just realized, we already had this conversation. Sorry for being repetitive.

Lol.. right, n i do see it, understand.. its all good.. thanks. Probably better not to keep this up😢

i am such a putz sometimes.. lol

he contacted me on tuesday. i never asked why he didn't talk to me for 4 days. i guess i just tripping, affraid i never talk to him again, cause he is important person to me at this point. i know he cares about me and I will always have his friendship.. But it is hard not to want something from someone you feel connected too. I know my friend cares about me. I guess I just have to carry on, and at some point, if i feel to attached or feel that my friendship with him is keeping me from living life I will have to tell him. Does anyone think that capi's get to a point were they will slow down, or stop friendship because they feel to much or don't wanna get hurt. I dont know.. just asking

Why do women automatically think the reason men slow down or do they disappearance acts is because the man is afraid of getting hurt, or feels too much? Whoever started this myth should be hog-tied and beat with a stick. This is a myth designed to protect women's feelings and to keep them from the reality that the man just isn't interested.

Of course, some men will run when they feel something and that's a committment phobic you don't want anyway! The sooner the run, the better.

More realistic is they might distance and re-evaluate the situation. Take time and decide whether they want to move forward. This type of "disappearance" is very short and temporary.

Another realistic answer is sometimes people get busy and time passes without them realizing that so much time has passed. Most people aknowledge this on their own.

Caps are bad about slowing down and gradually disappearing when we're no longer interested. Well, I shouldn't generalize. Let me say, some caps are. Others are more direct. It's not usually sudden.

Remember, this is an on-line only relationship. No he doesn't feel too much and he's not scared. Realistically, you haven't met so technically you're not a real girlfriend to him. What is there to feel apprehensive about?

You didn't confront him because you didn't want to know what the answer would be. If something bothers you, speak up from the very first time it bothers you before you get either resentful or let that fear from all your negative thoughts about it build up until it either makes you needy and clingy or turns you into a doormat.

Fear is the WORSE thing that can happen to a woman. Fear begins to override every thing else and it turns a woman from a happy, secure person to someone who is so insecure with herself and the man that she will tolerate any crumb of attention he throws her way. Don't let this happen to you!!!!

Gosh, I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I just want you to be realistic.

*steps off soap box*

I'm sure you're tired of hearing my opinions and you probably think I'm shoving them down your throat. I apologize if I come on too strong, but I like you and I want you to be happy. I don't you to make the same mistakes that I've seen so many on these boards do.

*steps aside and leaves raerae alone*

lol... thnx.. i appreciate it.. no probs. i know all this sht too, but sometimes we gotta hear it form someone eslse!

Maybe its more to do with cap wants freedom to be with whoever and you as a friend, that way its easier. You get to go out with who you want and capman gets to go out with who ever they want. If you both together in relationship he loses that freedom he's needs to be himself and will resent you for that for making him and chasing him into a relationship, back off if you want him as a friend. Relationship wont work here you and he want different things and I dont see a future that to work at all. Maybe you both need forget you meet each other and go out with others and get and move on with your lifes. Its the only way it will work. If it hasnt happened whilst being with each other then it wont work now. Go on and get and do other things learn other things besides you arent the ones for each other so it wont work anyway so just remain friends if you cant do that then go and be with others and forget about the cap

well, we been talking alot more lately and we are getting closer in our friendship.. It is clear that we both like each other, no doubt about that. he tell me tonight how he has had hard time last 3 years over love stuff and that he has put up walls and shields and that he doesn't let no one in but he is glad we have each other and hope tthat our communication improves. i am so happy to have this guy in my life. i know deep down that i had no reason to trip if i dont hear from him.. he seems like typical that he needs time to himself, and he has had that time and he came back, so thats a good sign. lucky lil aries girls that i am.

sooo.. what I am thinking is that it is true, they disappear, perhaps to think things through, but is and when they do come back, it is with even more feelings and intentions.