Dating a cap- .mixed actions that I can't preceive

Hey, I'm a Scorpio female, 31 y.o. that met a 37 y.o. Capricorn about 6 weeks ago. And it's been great, the last 5 weekends, cuddling, going out for dinner, drinks, etc. When I first met him, I slipped that I'm a mom and he said great, I took that as a good sign bc most men don't react well to me telling them I'm a mom or to twins as well. lol. 1st. the weekend we met after the weekend we initially met, it was listed as a date, even told the couple next to us- that it's out first date. Then about 2 weeks later, We were having a convo that slipped into what we were, and both said we like each other and I said enjoying the moments and ditto for himself. Then in almost a whisper, he said something about commitment issues, bc he asked what i was looking for, and I immediately said bf. I'm not sure he thought I heard, but I did and he immediately brought the convo back to the previous convo. I didn't push him to bring it back because it's the beginning. But then he brought up later on, that he wants me to meet his friends, and mines to him. about 4th weekend, it's my birthday gathering with friends on the weekend, came out with us. My birthday was on a wednesday, and took me out for that as well. Very romantic. 5th weekend, I go to meet him for drinks, surprise- his bestie's are there as well. And there quizzing me, telling me -0 your the michelle we've been hearing about for weeks and that brings a smile to his face. Awesome confirmation. Bc I do notice he's a great talker, but I wouldn't say so much with the feelings, and me being a Scorpio- the same as well. Idk if he's up on technology but am aware- not a big texter, which is fine. Texted him this past Friday, to make plans, etc..and he took like 3 hrs to text back which did annoy me, and then to say o - I'm busy this weekend and I'm in a race. Even tho I wasn't scorned, I felt scorned (can thank the scorpio in me for that) so I took about, texted him the next morning. Like gotcha, etc. Then on Sunday, I asked him how his race went and no response. Doesn't help, that now I'm aware that if you tell any female friend, it turns into you got dissed or something hysteria. Doesn't help the situation. I'm quite aware that he's totally entitled to be busy a weekend, and etc. But there awesome signals, and then there's the other ones. Whatcha think- o, also because he asked me several times what I was doing for Thanksgiving, and I knew he had plans- his friends were telling me in general. So just to be nice, I in

So just to be nice, I invited him for Thanksgiving as well, but no worries bc I know you have other options. Do you think I spooked him? Or this is normal? or..... 🙂

UghSorry, I was trying to get everything in & I'm new to this place/

WARNING WARNING WARNING!! He has admitted to having commitment issues and that explains everything.

A man with commitment issues always start off great, they almost always come across open as in vulnerable, sharing etc and then they fizzle out. The fizzling out usually depends on how quick the woman falls and/or is falling and moving ahead giving it much thought then she's blindsided with the silent treatment, ignoring, it's his way of slowing you down.

He may resurface when he feels safe, safe as in she's not chasing me, she's not displaying emotional energy towards me that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Men with commitment issues will take you to his church, he will bring up feelings to get you into your feelings so you'll show your hand first--which allows him to gauge if he should run, he'll let you meet his friends and mama and almost always he'll duck and dodge to slow down the commitment process or disappear altogether.

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him, it's hard not to take it personal, it feels personal but it's not, he is your CP man, commitmentphobic man, they'll drive you to an insane asylum if you let em because the messages you receive are never going to be clear.

Yeah stopped reading at that point...

Lol to the 2 up above, Yes I could see how that was perceived in a bad way and I didn't mean it like that. Usually, I don't immediately tell a man at a bar, that I'm a mom bc of weird comments that have occurred in the past. Usually I see how the night goes, and if makes it to a first date, I tell them beforehand. But when I met this Cap man, I had officially given up on the dating life, so instead of waiting, I told him literally after we exchanged names..so I could see if he would run. And he didn't, and then my brain thought(weeks later) maybe the universe was giving me a positive signal.

AND THANKS TO TIKI33!

my sense of thought too with the commitment comment, but because the commitment thing was brought up so fast, and dropped so quickly, I thought maybe his brain was just blurping out the first thing. Because there were positive signals. I guess my other question then- how can I approach him, I accidentally left a few things there that I would like back, and I'm one of those ones that likes to clear my chest or maybe it's called confrontational that I am. Ha! and rarely like guys, so it would be bad to tell him I like him. He also asked me if I would consider getting remarried, and I said yes - he's divorced as well (he said the same). Why would they put that out there, even bothering asking the questions. Just for curiosity sake?

You being a mom is wonderful, a real man, a man that does not have commitment issues and is actually interested in being in a real relationship because he's at that point in his life will not run, not in the beginning, not ever.

As for getting your things back, you may not want to hear it but it's gone, unless you chase him down to get it you'll probably never see it and once you chase him down he'll swear you're psycho, it's a lose lose situation.

If the things you left can be replaced then replace them, honestly, men that have commitment issues are a pain in the ass to deal with.

Men with commitment issues will get married, can be married and still have commitment issues which is most likely why he's divorced, he probably never ever had both feet in the relationship, it's exhausting because the woman is constantly being put in these nefarious positions where she's the bad guy for everything.

Commitmentphobes ALWAYS appear interested, always but it's short lived.

For example he's the one who has disappeared but you're probably feeling like you did something wrong and you're left with all these nagging uncomfortable feelings about his disappearing act. If you explode and confront him then it's easily turned around on YOU and that's the problem with dating men who have commitment issues. Understand? It's a lose lose situation so no amount of confronting will make the situation better even if he holds himself accountable he'll eventually disappear again.

This is when you're put into a position to act and to play games to keep things even and that can be exhausting, I could tell you how to behave to keep a certain amount of leverage in your situation but again it's exhausting, it's easier to say dump the clown and continue on your dating journey without him.

It's totally up to you to be their when he resurfaces. I been in your shoes many moons before I married and knowing what I know I would not be there when he shows, fuck the stuff, he can keep it, next but that's just me.

If you really want to date him just forget about confronting him and forget about sharing so much intimacy with him, no sharing future, no sharing wanting to be married, no sharing period, just be a cold commitmentphobic robot and he'll probably think you're his dream girl.

Tiki, read you with interest as usually. This sounds a bit black and white though:

a real man, a man that does not have commitment issues and is actually interested in being in a real relationship because he's at that point in his life will not run, not in the beginning, not ever.

Dating someone with children is not for everyone and could be an issue for many people, men or women.
A relationship after children cannot follow the same pattern as before and keeping some distance and not sharing everything may not be a bad thing. Personally I don't want anyone to interfere in my life with my son and I don't want to interfere in the life of my bf and his daughter. I only want alone time with him from time to time. Am I commitmentphob?

He's not dating your children he's dating you so his running is a negative.

If I had kids I'd make it clear DAY ONE to the men that are interested you are not looking for a baby daddy, you are not interested in him parenting your kids, the kids have a father already, he will not be meeting your kids unless of course later down the line there is a commitment.

But here's the thing, you have kids and therefore you have to also keep the running into it's proper perspective, for example if things were to get heavy and you're met him, hung out with him, formed a bond with him and he up and disappeared that would not be healthy for your kids.

As for confronting him, sure you can do that, but don't be surprised if he's running even harder after that motherly tongue whipping, at that point you can call it done and move on.