tiltedmoonshadow
@tiltedmoonshadow
13 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 226 · Topics: 31
Enlighten Me..This Test You Caps Supposedly Do..
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! When I replay everything in my mind, that is where I felt I stumbled. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WTF HE MEANT WHEN HE SAID THAT RESPONSE: "I believe that the ego of both parties is..."
Which is why it took me HOURS to respond, but it was too late, instead of having him elaborate, my fluid Cancer emotions went rampant and I put my defenses up and quickly shut down the whole project. (TOO SOON YES) FML. seriously.
Earlier, I was just thinking about how I don't pay attention to actions and should. "M" called me out on the analyze. Heck yeah I'm on analyze mode like you wouldn't believe!
For Gods sake you even told him he came on too strong the first night and you could tell it was a rebound situation.
So basically how could any guy come back from that? ....He has called me a "pistol" before, in regards to the things that come out of my mouth, which I jokingly called "word vomit" but i guess true story.
Why didn't he say bye? wtf. I scared him 😢
So can we all agree?? This is not a test. This is over.
In that case, can I be a little b*tch and call him out on his unacceptable behavior? I'm sorry you see I like to go out in style , preferable with a BANG.
-pistol
Which is why it took me HOURS to respond, but it was too late, instead of having him elaborate, my fluid Cancer emotions went rampant and I put my defenses up and quickly shut down the whole project. (TOO SOON YES) FML. seriously.
Earlier, I was just thinking about how I don't pay attention to actions and should. "M" called me out on the analyze. Heck yeah I'm on analyze mode like you wouldn't believe!
For Gods sake you even told him he came on too strong the first night and you could tell it was a rebound situation.
So basically how could any guy come back from that? ....He has called me a "pistol" before, in regards to the things that come out of my mouth, which I jokingly called "word vomit" but i guess true story.
Why didn't he say bye? wtf. I scared him 😢
So can we all agree?? This is not a test. This is over.
In that case, can I be a little b*tch and call him out on his unacceptable behavior? I'm sorry you see I like to go out in style , preferable with a BANG.
-pistol
AHHH I love the tough love from all of you. Thanks for looking into it. I needed someone outside of the box, my perception was way too in it and knee deep. I knew I screwed up somehow, but I couldn't see the whole picture to realize all my mistakes.
Wait, what's the lesson/s I need to learn again?
Wait, what's the lesson/s I need to learn again?
Well said and explained by M and MeToo!
(standing ovation)
(standing ovation)
MeToo!!!! Are you a Capricorn?? I finally heard from mine! And his response used the word "process" the way you used it when you said this part: "Its too much for someone just getting to know you to process."
He told the things I said to him were very sweet and thoughtful, then he said we was going to PROCESS it and "promise" he will get back to me. Then he texted again asking me if I am okay with that!
I dropped down on my knees and Thanked God.
He told the things I said to him were very sweet and thoughtful, then he said we was going to PROCESS it and "promise" he will get back to me. Then he texted again asking me if I am okay with that!
I dropped down on my knees and Thanked God.
I would like to make an anonymous announcement here on dxpnet that if this Cappy come back to me post-processing as he promised he would, and his news ends up being good news--- I am going to marry this man!
Just watch.
Just watch.
Posted by tiltedmoonshadow
Hi- If you would like to read the background info on my situation with this Cap or see our natal chart comparison, you can find those under my first thread called "Mixed reviews about Caps and Cancers," here is the link ---> https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/capricorn/mixed-reviews-about-caps-and-cancers-3206053/?p=2<BR>
Otherwise, here are FOUR general questions regarding The Test:
1. How do you know whether a Cap man is testing you OR if he is totally done with you? (especially if he did not say goodbye and despite messaging him about it, he remains silent)
2. If a Cap is testing you, what exactly is the criteria for this test? (btw i find this "test" annoying, inconsiderate, rude, and hypocritical)
Let's say I participate in this "test." I've read it has a lot to do with loyalty and tolerance and whatever else...
3. Doesn't it ever seem desperate to a Cap when a woman does not get over him and just move on? I just don't understand the premise of what they wish to realize about the woman. HOW OFTEN would I need to be "communicating" in a one-sided "conversation"?? I mean, wtf am I supposed to be saying in the text/email when he has been silent this entire time?? How long does this go on for anyways?
In a Cap's mind that administers these ridiculous tests, there's got to be a fine line between pure-loyalty/sincere-admiration &&& just straight out desperation —
4. What happens if I just tell him off for being rude and call him out on his b.s. unacceptable behavior??
Somebody please enlighten me on the matter. Thank You.
My advise is, takes things slowly. Don't push him and when he's shut down, dont be affected by it. Continue your daily life like nothing happen. Always be yourself, do not pretend anything. If he's in the shut down moment, yes, you can still msg him. But a light msg, such as, "Hey! Its been a while. Are you ok? If anything, you can always share with me. After all, sharing is caring!"
Then wait for him to reply. (My case, only after 2 days he response to my msg) Usually, if he really think you're possible candidate to be his soulmate, he'll contact you again. Now you got your second chances, do not screw it again dear.. Always remember, when he's testing, it means he will observe how you behave. Do not freak out.
Many love from Pisces.. GL!
I actually owe a lot of my thanks to MeToo for allowing me to see that aspects I failed to see...which would be the whole thing about me analyzing/questioning/summarizing/predicting the entire relationship and his situation/feelings. I am not a therapist and I don't want to be controlling/manipulative. He is his own person and I have no right to analyze his thoughts and feelings for him and then react on those assumptions. It certainly does not foster the kind of environment where anyone would be encouraged to explore and share their feelings, especially a Cap guy when that is already difficult for him to begin with. And since communication is very important for me, I best learn to shut my mouth and not verbalize my Virgoic analyzations so that I don't seem judgmental/criticizing. ............I have been hurt so much in the past and this Cappy has been good-hearted towards me the whole time so there was no reason for me to assume that he is just like the rest. It's basically that whole thing about not having the guy pay for past guy's mistakes. .....Don't worry, I am so grateful that he communicated with me (plus that added bonus of even asking me whether i was okay with his need to process...wow thanks!) So I would not do anything to jeopardize this whole thing again! I will be patient, understanding, and trusting. ....I thanked him for responding, told him i was not mad at him, apologized, reassured him that i meant everything i've said, that it's more than okay with me bc i want him to be as sure as i am with whatever he decides. closed it with "you are worth the wait. xoxo" ----Some may say- there she goes with her word vomit again, but I seriously was so relieved to hear from him I almost could've cried tears of joy. .......
The only time I disobeyed you two- MeToo & M -is that after we established that I messed up and had to close the book, right before I closed the book, I decided to give it one last shot (instead of going out with a bang bl*ch style ). I thought I've addressed everything, but I was actually ignorant of the perspective that MeToo saw therefore I never mentioned that part or apologized for it when it was clearly the biggest offense I had made! ...So against people's advice, I messaged him one last time and covered the following-- I apologizing for doing that, admitted where i stumbled (his quote about "a precarious situation"), told him his situation doesnt matter to me anymore and it never shouldve if we liked each other then the past shouldnt matter bc i want him in my present and future, admitted that my selfish behavior (making assumptions followed by shutting him down) was an instinctual reaction to being SO SCARED bc he's so amazing that it was almost unreal so i felt uneasy bc its like i was waiting for someone to pull the rug under my feet until i went ahead and did it myself like a stupid idiot (that showed impatience and insecurity), told him i was not scared anymore, that i want him to stay and i would _______
The only thing I wonder now is-- As he takes his time processing, do I need to say hello from time to time like every 2 weeks or something?
This may be where we differ. As a Cancer woman, I would like to receive hellos every now and then while I am having my alone time, brooding or introspecting or whatever else I do with my me time. It makes me feel secure while I bask in my alone time, knowing that I am not truly alone bc he is still thinking of me. I believe in, absence makes the heart grow fonder. ---whereas it seems Capricorn men are more on the saying, Out of sight out of mind. ---I just don't want him to forget about me or have everything I said to him lose its meaning or depth. I don't know how long he will wander away for, but no matter how long it will take, would that ever be possible that I would just be out of sight out of mind eventually—
This may be where we differ. As a Cancer woman, I would like to receive hellos every now and then while I am having my alone time, brooding or introspecting or whatever else I do with my me time. It makes me feel secure while I bask in my alone time, knowing that I am not truly alone bc he is still thinking of me. I believe in, absence makes the heart grow fonder. ---whereas it seems Capricorn men are more on the saying, Out of sight out of mind. ---I just don't want him to forget about me or have everything I said to him lose its meaning or depth. I don't know how long he will wander away for, but no matter how long it will take, would that ever be possible that I would just be out of sight out of mind eventually—
When a Cap man loves you and considers you worthy of his love he does not test you.
Posted by MPosted by ShahBano
It's simply observing and deciding who you are and if this is right.click to expand
So if it's simply observing and deciding, then what do I specifically do during that time? He can't be observing me if I am giving him nothing to observe (ie. not even saying hi to him every now and then) ?? Would all the things I said to him in the past be the things he factors into his decision making ? (cuz if so im okay with that, i feel like i have said and clarified all my sincerity for him yay.)
btw..
lol you are so right on with the "conscious manipulative tests like a water sign would do" --I have become more aware of that behavior of mine when in relationships and am now consciously working on eliminating it by just fostering open honest effective communication OR just being having more confidence with myself and the relationships so that I can feel secure so that I won't need to administer such ridiculous tests on my poor partner
Thank you very much M. Your chart readings have been very helpful. I have only started reading into charts and I do find that the bigger picture makes more sense than just Sun signs. There's so much more beyond the surface!
Anyways, I feel very secure and can go about with my me time too. This is only possible as long as I trust him and stay confident in myself and the budding relationship. All my friends consider me to be quite independent and I do tend to wander off and do my thing. I feel that a Cappy in need of wandering will always be peachy with me so long as there is some communication beforehand to secure that an oncoming disappearance is only gonna be alone time. That would be very easy for me to understand since I need Me Time almost every month! Besides, if I am not going to get laid for a while, I suggest it best to come hither by me so i can go for a nice long ride before i send you off to Cappy world so you can deal with all the pressing matters in your life! haha :-) ....I mean, imagine having constant playtime and then suddenly it is stripped from you for an unknown amount of time!? Sexual frustration is enough to make me an impatient, needy girl!
Anyways, I feel very secure and can go about with my me time too. This is only possible as long as I trust him and stay confident in myself and the budding relationship. All my friends consider me to be quite independent and I do tend to wander off and do my thing. I feel that a Cappy in need of wandering will always be peachy with me so long as there is some communication beforehand to secure that an oncoming disappearance is only gonna be alone time. That would be very easy for me to understand since I need Me Time almost every month! Besides, if I am not going to get laid for a while, I suggest it best to come hither by me so i can go for a nice long ride before i send you off to Cappy world so you can deal with all the pressing matters in your life! haha :-) ....I mean, imagine having constant playtime and then suddenly it is stripped from you for an unknown amount of time!? Sexual frustration is enough to make me an impatient, needy girl!
We haven't had sex yet by the way. Only sexted once. I do fantasize about out first time 😉 It's gonna be insane.
Posted by ShahBano
When a Cap man loves you and considers you worthy of his love he does not test you.
+1 This exactly.
I guess because I've already had the "pleasure" of all this emotional drama with my cap years ago I can sit back and read most of these posts and only smile with the knowledge and wisdom of one who now reaps the benefits of a loving, loyal and fully committed Cap man who once did same to me. Biggest lesson learned was that I stopped making it about him. When I truly learned the art of loving, respecting and caring more about myself than him while giving him the space to "process" (which took years) what came after was him working his behind off to win me and my everything over and over again which he still does to this very day. I love him with all my heart and did from the very first moment we met but he now knows that I have the strength of my own worth to walk away from him without a look back if he even thinks of under appreciating me or my love ever again. I don't have to harp on it either he just knows and thanks me every day for being his best friend and soulmate because I earned that from him after years together on and off. And dare I say this isn't just about Cap me but any man that loves you and appreciates your worth. He will not play games with your time, your mind or your heart period.
:-) I am very happy for you! .....In relation to stepping stones, I found that small pebbles can be so much more exciting than big boulder rocks. If things are meant to get to that one destined spot, why not slow down and enjoy the journey. I will learn so much more from it too.
I hope to reach that level someday with this guy. I do think he is worth the wait. When we met, I was not really looking for anyone or waiting to be discovered by someone. I met him on the very first night I was single again! (after almost 4 years of being in a relationship) .....By him taking his time to "process" things, I am able to remain free and independent for some time, not to play the field, but to just reconnect with myself bc I wanted to better myself for my next relationship. I just didn't know I would meet a possible candidate so soon! His process time is a blessing in disguise for me! ....I got this lol
I hope to reach that level someday with this guy. I do think he is worth the wait. When we met, I was not really looking for anyone or waiting to be discovered by someone. I met him on the very first night I was single again! (after almost 4 years of being in a relationship) .....By him taking his time to "process" things, I am able to remain free and independent for some time, not to play the field, but to just reconnect with myself bc I wanted to better myself for my next relationship. I just didn't know I would meet a possible candidate so soon! His process time is a blessing in disguise for me! ....I got this lol
Posted by tiltedmoonshadow
:-) I am very happy for you! .....In relation to stepping stones, I found that small pebbles can be so much more exciting than big boulder rocks. If things are meant to get to that one destined spot, why not slow down and enjoy the journey. I will learn so much more from it too.
I hope to reach that level someday with this guy. I do think he is worth the wait. When we met, I was not really looking for anyone or waiting to be discovered by someone. I met him on the very first night I was single again! (after almost 4 years of being in a relationship) .....By him taking his time to "process" things, I am able to remain free and independent for some time, not to play the field, but to just reconnect with myself bc I wanted to better myself for my next relationship. I just didn't know I would meet a possible candidate so soon! His process time is a blessing in disguise for me! ....I got this lol
Most men, not just Caps, are really more simple than we like to admit. Try no to have expectations of him or his behavior that he isn't ready to show and/or give to you until he is ready. In the meantime, don't let him take you, your time or your feelings for granted even if he's not quite sure what to do with you or how you fit into his world...yet. Caps need space and time to process everything. That's how they work. They are far more vulnerable and emotional than people know and their pain and regret run deep. Be gentle and caring with them but not at the expense of your own feelings which are just as important. Honestly? Be a good friend to him and let him truly get to "know" you and vice versa as long as he treats you and your time with respect. If it is meant to be then it will eventually blossom into something else. Caps do not give their hearts to just anyone. They aren't built that way. And when they give it without thought disaster is not far behind. Just be yourself and let him fall for you at his own pace if he's the one your heart is set on. It will be worth it.
omgness what a disaster!! Now THAT'S a trainwreck, I felt uncomfortable just reading about it! eek.
My previous was with a Pisces/Aries cusp. I learned a lot about patience from that relationship. Though I'm still a rookie at it, I am doing my best to be more patient and not be so harsh on potential partners. I also had a few people in this dxp forum who put me back in line when I needed to be called out on some of my negative behavior. ....I hope I learned enough so as not to mess up my 2nd chance with this special Cap...but only time will tell 🙂 Thanks for sharing your stories everyone! xo
My previous was with a Pisces/Aries cusp. I learned a lot about patience from that relationship. Though I'm still a rookie at it, I am doing my best to be more patient and not be so harsh on potential partners. I also had a few people in this dxp forum who put me back in line when I needed to be called out on some of my negative behavior. ....I hope I learned enough so as not to mess up my 2nd chance with this special Cap...but only time will tell 🙂 Thanks for sharing your stories everyone! xo
I want time to know the following (and not necessarily in this order):
1. How consistent you are in how you treat me and other people?
2. How do you treat strangers (waiters, etc)?
3. Will you respect my children's feelings?
4. Time to determine that everything you told me has truth and consistency.
5. How do you act when you're angry?
6. How well respected are you in the community? (this does not have to do with money)
7. Do you spend money foolishly or are you conservative (not cheap, though)?
8. Will you actually be there when I really need you?
9. Are you willing to communicate with me?
10. Do you have good morals and character?
11. Are you going to do what you say you're going to do?
12. Do you have good manners and ettiquette?
etc, etc, etc. I need to know the answers to these questions before I can consider anything long term. Its not really a "test", but will we be a good fit? Are you good for me? Are you a good person? Are you worth my emotions?
1. How consistent you are in how you treat me and other people?
2. How do you treat strangers (waiters, etc)?
3. Will you respect my children's feelings?
4. Time to determine that everything you told me has truth and consistency.
5. How do you act when you're angry?
6. How well respected are you in the community? (this does not have to do with money)
7. Do you spend money foolishly or are you conservative (not cheap, though)?
8. Will you actually be there when I really need you?
9. Are you willing to communicate with me?
10. Do you have good morals and character?
11. Are you going to do what you say you're going to do?
12. Do you have good manners and ettiquette?
etc, etc, etc. I need to know the answers to these questions before I can consider anything long term. Its not really a "test", but will we be a good fit? Are you good for me? Are you a good person? Are you worth my emotions?
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Otherwise, here are FOUR general questions regarding The Test:
1. How do you know whether a Cap man is testing you OR if he is totally done with you? (especially if he did not say goodbye and despite messaging him about it, he remains silent)
2. If a Cap is testing you, what exactly is the criteria for this test? (btw i find this "test" annoying, inconsiderate, rude, and hypocritical)
Let's say I participate in this "test." I've read it has a lot to do with loyalty and tolerance and whatever else...
3. Doesn't it ever seem desperate to a Cap when a woman does not get over him and just move on? I just don't understand the premise of what they wish to realize about the woman. HOW OFTEN would I need to be "communicating" in a one-sided "conversation"?? I mean, wtf am I supposed to be saying in the text/email when he has been silent this entire time?? How long does this go on for anyways?
In a Cap's mind that administers these ridiculous tests, there's got to be a fine line between pure-loyalty/sincere-admiration &&& just straight out desperation —
4. What happens if I just tell him off for being rude and call him out on his b.s. unacceptable behavior??
Somebody please enlighten me on the matter. Thank You.