@worrier
14 Years
Can Caps compromise
I can compromise if you have a well thought out arguement, presented intelligently and calmly, that makes sense and I don't feel attacked by it. So, yes, for me.
But, honestly, if I feel like you are whining or accusing, I will activate the sheild and tune you out.
I can only speak for myself, not all Caps.
But, honestly, if I feel like you are whining or accusing, I will activate the sheild and tune you out.
I can only speak for myself, not all Caps.
Posted by truecap
I can compromise if you have a well thought out arguement, presented intelligently and calmly, that makes sense and I don't feel attacked by it. So, yes, for me.
But, honestly, if I feel like you are whining or accusing, I will activate the sheild and tune you out.
I can only speak for myself, not all Caps.
Basically.
Yep, Cappy will do what Cappy WANTS to do. I've found that the coherent (non emotional) delivery of what I "prefer" works best. No judgement on behavior, no whining on how bad I feel, just plain speak about what I WANT.......
Of course, some convincing about how this will improve Cappy's position also helps. So in other words, tell 'em what you want then explain how he'll benefit.
Of course, some convincing about how this will improve Cappy's position also helps. So in other words, tell 'em what you want then explain how he'll benefit.
Posted by CanceritaBonita
Yep, Cappy will do what Cappy WANTS to do. I've found that the coherent (non emotional) delivery of what I "prefer" works best. No judgement on behavior, no whining on how bad I feel, just plain speak about what I WANT.......
Of course, some convincing about how this will improve Cappy's position also helps. So in other words, tell 'em what you want then explain how he'll benefit.
This will work with me. 🙂
I will listen (if presented well) and truely consider your thoughts/feelings. You might not get an immediate answer, but I will usually try to do better. Its not our intention to be hurtful or inconsiderate.
Just don't be pushy, please.
Just don't be pushy, please.
No pushy'ness...Absolutely! Maybe a gentle reminder though 🙂
Thanks everyone wish I had known this a bit sooner!
I think I am dealing with the non-compromising part as we speak. Is it possible for the actions to prove that you know you are wrong, but still avoid an actual apology?
Posted by aiyanatb
I think I am dealing with the non-compromising part as we speak. Is it possible for the actions to prove that you know you are wrong, but still avoid an actual apology?
If I know I'm wrong about something I don't have a problem at all apologizing personally. Just don't be the type that is all "I told you so!" or "are you going to apologize?" If you are looking for it, I can have a hard time giving it, but for the most part, I'll admit my mistake.
Oh, to answer your questions, yeah, sometimes we will show it through other ways than actually apologizing.
So funny,. I wish I knew about DXP years ago. It would have saved me many an argument. I could just come here to vent and all the Caps would just tell me this is how they are.
I find that putting my complaints and/or gripes in a written format, letter, e-mail ot text works really well with my Cap. For some reason he does not like face to face confrontations. Which BTW I am all about. I am a get all up in your face type. When I do that he looks at me like I have 3 heads and will not say one word. I mean not one single word until I stop screaming or yelling. It actually makes me scream more. I can't take the ignoring thing or the "shield" it drives me insane. You would think I would be use to it now after all this time but I am not.
He will compromise if and only if it makes sense to him. Otherwise, I can forget it.
I find that putting my complaints and/or gripes in a written format, letter, e-mail ot text works really well with my Cap. For some reason he does not like face to face confrontations. Which BTW I am all about. I am a get all up in your face type. When I do that he looks at me like I have 3 heads and will not say one word. I mean not one single word until I stop screaming or yelling. It actually makes me scream more. I can't take the ignoring thing or the "shield" it drives me insane. You would think I would be use to it now after all this time but I am not.
He will compromise if and only if it makes sense to him. Otherwise, I can forget it.
Posted by lnana04Posted by aiyanatb
I think I am dealing with the non-compromising part as we speak. Is it possible for the actions to prove that you know you are wrong, but still avoid an actual apology?
If I know I'm wrong about something I don't have a problem at all apologizing personally. Just don't be the type that is all "I told you so!" or "are you going to apologize?" If you are looking for it, I can have a hard time giving it, but for the most part, I'll admit my mistake.click to expand
Yeah I dont like "telling someone" how they should feel. But the avoidance with the difference in approach is annoying to me. I can tell he is trying to feel me out to see if we're still okay. I tried just telling him exactly how I felt and why but the response to me seems like a cop out. I'm stubborn he's stubborn. Seeing as this argument has to do with me feeling taken for granted, I dont want to budge...crappers.
If I'm wrong I will definitely apologize - AND, I'll make it up to you!
The Sag I was with had has a Mercury in cap and after reading some of the comments I'm starting to understand a little more. Last, year we had a face to face talk in which she never looked at me once but seemed like she was not listening then said she hates these types of things, and that was that. From reading this post I now understand she hates face to face talks and I know she hates debates.
Second she hates when she feels as if she is in the wrong and you let her know about it.
Cappy's are tough.
Second she hates when she feels as if she is in the wrong and you let her know about it.
Cappy's are tough.
"Compromise" means lets do what I want you to do but I'm going to try to spin it like this is middle ground. Compromise is for suckers!! Ex. Other Zodiac: Lets go see X movie Cappie: But I hit you up to see Y movie. Other Zodiac: But I just realized that I need to be somewhere at time random. Lets just compromise and see movie Y another time! It's still a new release. Cappie: -____- Nah it's ok, I really don't want to see that. Other Zodiac: C'mon, it'll be fun, Movie X is about- Cappie: NO!! I'm not seeing it. I'm gonna see Y today. LOL! As a cappie I see things in black and white.
"Or scrapping the movie period? Brainstorm!"
Brilliant!
Either the movie will be scrapped, or I'll go and see it by myself. If I have something in mind, and I make the suggestion, I really don't care to hear what you want to do. I'm gonna be single forever smh lol.
Brilliant!
Either the movie will be scrapped, or I'll go and see it by myself. If I have something in mind, and I make the suggestion, I really don't care to hear what you want to do. I'm gonna be single forever smh lol.
Just go to the bar instead! Now THATs a compromise! hahahahahaha! Just kidding.
Posted by 25thDecan
How to compromise with a cap woman? Again...bend over, bite the pillow..expect her to be going in....ddddddrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy
Lollll! This cracks me up every single time, but yeah, you pretty much got it right lol.
@scorchedearth, I will cherish the day lol. Really, I can't wait to hear the stories of "when" it happen cause I know it will. He's gonna have to eat his words and I cannot wait lol.
if something bothers you say it to us calmly and clearly we will work it over into our head repeatedly.trying to understand what your saying trying best not to be insulted by what you say determined by how you stated your complaints
but if we feel like we're walking on eggshells two things can happen we get distant or or bottle it away and explode if you keep pushing when we become defensive then you get cut off
no reminders if you state it once no need to state it again we remember if you keep bringing up something from the past that turns us off *well turns me off* becomes annoying
but if we feel like we're walking on eggshells two things can happen we get distant or or bottle it away and explode if you keep pushing when we become defensive then you get cut off
no reminders if you state it once no need to state it again we remember if you keep bringing up something from the past that turns us off *well turns me off* becomes annoying
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Just wondered if you explain to them how their behaviour is hurting you and causing you to act in a way that they don't like if they might be able to meet half way.