Ex Cap Friend has a personality disorder

I want to start by saying that I am not implying that all Caps have personality disorders...it's just unfortunate that my ex-friend has one and I am pleased to say that he is out of my life...why? Because he lied to me and I don't know how many times in two years this has happened. He was only using me and would have continued to do so if I had not kicked his ass to the curb.

He exhibited the following traits:

Glib, superficial charm, shallow affect, lack of guilt or remorse, controlling (in every sense of the word) self-aggrandising, extreme self-centeredness, good at playing the victim, threatened by intimacy, projected his own personality defects onto me (and others) arrogance, superiority complex, manipulative, mysognistic, hostile, passive-aggressive, a sense of competition or one-upmanship, preys on the weakness and vulnerability of others, gained my trust by mirroring traits that I respected and admired, habitual dishonesty, *frequent inconsistencies between what he said and his actions, prefers the use of email and texting to communicate as these methods allow him the opportunity to lie easier than face 2 face.

Even a "gift" I received from him for my birthday was nothing more than a shallow attempt at appearing benevolent.

Fortunately for me the time and distance provided by his recent move allowed for me to look at how some of his behavior just didn't seem to add up, the words he used to express himself didn't seem normal to me. I have come to the conclusion that this individual is extremely narcissistic, exhibits anti-social behavior and could even be a psychopath.

Our last communication was last week by email after not hearing from him in three weeks he told me that he would be coming to the city I live in to visit a friend but we could schedule a visit (What arrogance!). I told him I would not be available to see him when he came out to visit His response was strange, he started talking about his motorcycle and that he may sell it since he wouldn't be riding it much due to the fact that he's busy in a new relationship and she will be moving in with him after Canada day. He's only been moved for three months and he's moving in with a woman? Why did he choose this time to tell me this? I spoke to him at the beginning of June and he said there was nothing new going on his life. During this conversation I also asked him about the meaning of an earlier email he had sent. He said "I wasn't intentionally ignoring you" (btw I also he

said this in December) My response to this email was: "Can you go back to ignoring me. That worked for me" He responded with: "Sometime we will have to talk about why you feel this way, but right now I am busy" This was the final straw for me! I responded with "I am not interested. Let me make myself perfectly clear. I don't want you in my life."Just when I think he couldn't be more self-centered his response was: "I think you just made my life much simpler". Do you believe that? He actually thought I was doing HIM a favor! I really pity the woman he is with now. She has no idea of the world of hurt she is in for. While he may be nice and charming etc..in the beginning( as he was with me)he will probably play the victim and pretend to be confused and baffled as to why I ended the friendship (I also heard his tale of woe) eventually his true nature will surface and she will be bewildered by his metamorphosis and feel betrayed and hurt (as I did). When the day comes that he finds a new woman the cycle will repeat itself.

Again i want to iterate that I don't mean to imply all Caps are personality disordered. I only posted this on the Cap message board because this freak happened to be a Capricorn. Freaks and psychos can be born under any astrological sign including Aries. I have read many woman who have experience the same pain, frustration and feelings of betrayal that I have gone through and merely wanted to share my own experience, strength and hope. Getting rid of this parasite was the most loving thing I have ever done for myself.

I don't think its anyones place to self diagnose people, never the less it has nothing to do with his sign, its about his character or lack thereof, its about you/we/us believing in people at face value. I see too many women post on the boards about falling in love and loving someone before getting to know the other persons true nature.

He sounds like he's bored and thus plays a bunch of head games. For the record most player's do the things you described above, its a fun game for them be it malicious or not some take it too far. He's bored and boring and he probably tries to compensate for that by being the bad boy. If your not interested then ignore him completely, don't email him back, not even to say leave me alone.

You know the story of the kids on the playground and the little boy punches and pulls the girls hair, the one he has a huge crush on, well thats what some men do even as adults, they misbehave, the play rough, play dirty because thats his love language. By ignoring him your not rewarding or encouraging his bad behavior which is a very positive sign but there are 10 other women who will entertain his bad behavior.

I forgot to mention a couple of the most important things about what makes this man a parasite. This person expects more from a relationship partner that he is willing to give. What he wants most is to be attention and admired and be around those who will agree with his belief about how great he believes he is. God forbid that you should say "No". These people don't like that word directed towards them. It's a threat to their belief of being special and deserving of such attention.

frustratedaries he's a typical ALPHA male, he has that I love you loving me mentality, he's no more distorted than any other man, he wants to see himself through every person he comes in contact with. I can sense your frustration and I'm sure its valid.

Cappywench I tend to agree with you but on this one, I'm sorry but that is totally off base, NO ONE can self diagnose ANYONE or ANYTHING ever, we can guess at it and point out certain personality traits that might be associated with a certain disease/behavior trait but it doesn't make it so. The guy may very well be a socio-path or have socio-pathic behavior but no one will really be able to say what his deal is unless he gets that answer for himself.

The guy sounds like he's a jerk although I laughed at his responses...What? It was funny! LOL!

I now see what you mean, you have that people watching bug, I'm not sure a person can diagnose a personality disorder via people watching but I do agree a person can gain insight on a persons personality by observing how they interact with others.

I've had an aries friend who didn't understand me at all, so I just backed off.

I grew out of the friendship, and the aries just got pissed, cussed and called me a bad person.

I've had an aries friend who didn't understand me at all, so I just backed off.

I grew out of the friendship, and the aries just got pissed, cussed and called me a bad person.