Free Will Astrology

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19)

Week of June 27, 2002

"I'd like you to take inventory of all the things you do to make yourself attractive and desirable. When you engage in conversation, do you gravitate towards subjects that show off the sexy ways your mind works? Are there specific compliments you dole out when you're flirting, or typical gifts you offer when you're currying favor? Do you use body language and tones of voice that are designed to be seductive? Once you have surveyed the full range of your subliminal salesmanship, Capricorn, I'll ask you not to resort to any of it in the coming weeks. Instead, promise me you'll whip up an imaginative new mating dance and a host of fresh, hot moves."

Well that't interesting, recently I have realised that whatever I have been doing up til now is just not working for me. I only attract the wrong kind of men and those I like don't seem interested in anything lasting. I'm not sure if I like them cos they don't want me or if they go off me when they get a response. Trouble is, I had already swung from being aloof and mysterious to being wild and flirtatious just to see what sort of affect I had. I certainly get a lot more interest in the night-club scene, but then that is only for 'one thing'. I still don't know what to do to draw in something good. Just 'being me', even the new me, isn't working. Try to reach a happy medium maybe? Or am I looking in the wrong places? Men seem to want someone who is a prize, someone mysterious and alluring, I am just little old me. Anyone else facing a similar frustration? Is there some kind of finishing school for this kind of thing?

I'm in the same "boat". Are you sure we don't need to enroll in a "starting/beginners school"? Here's wishing us better in the future! Let's pray so.

That goes for me too! I've been seeing guys who are 'smitten' with me but I find them very resisitible..lol! The one guy I did find irresistibly attractive was a Pisces..but he wanted a casual intimate affair (no way for this Cappy girl!)
So.. the wait continues...
I don't think a finishing school would do it for me.. I'd rather be me; it's more of a hassle trying to be something I'm not. Why do the 'dramatic'? When would you ever leave the stage? Or how long could the show/performance last?

You are right. There is only so long I can keep up a performance, then when I get exhausted and go back to being me the person I have been trying to fool realises he hasn't got what he signed up for. I'm just so sick of being passed over for the 'ideal woman' though. I must be someone's ideal woman - someone who isn't a drop-kick anyway. I guess I'll just play the waiting game too. I went five years without anything before my ex though, and I'm not getting any younger...

Coming from the most impatient person in the world, be patient. When you least expect it, it clubs you over the head!

For 203.41. I can certainly relate to what you're saying. I had a friend tell me this "saying" a long time ago. I'm not sure I like the analogy but this is what she said and how it goes....

"In life there's a lid for every garbage can!"

See why I don't like this analogy? But I can see the meaning behind it and what it REALLY means! At the time she told me I thought it was the most funniest thing I'd ever heard, but it seems like to many of us in one way or another are/have been waiting for our "LIDS"!!!

Hang in there and keep the faith and hope! There really IS someone for everyone. It's one of the Universal Laws of Karma. We just have to find each other that's all, and it will be when we least expect it AND when we are NOT looking!

"An artist informs the world of what's available behind the masks we all wear. That's what we're all here to do. The reason so many of us are obsessed with becoming stars is because we're not yet starring in our own lives. The cosmic spot light isn't pointed at you, it radiates from within you. I used to feel like I was waiting for someone to discover me, to "produce" me, like Lana Turner at the drugstore. Ultimately I realized that the person I was waiting for was myself. If we wait for the world's permission to shine we will never receive it." ~Marianne Williamson

Yes I know all this logically, and feel it in my heart. But I also know there are a lot of lonely old people out there who never found them, or found them and lost them. But then they also tend to have given up on life completely, not just on love. I never want to give up. It just gets hard sometimes.

Well check this one out!

"Capricorn: When I'm fishing, I've got this one kind of lure/bait thing I use. It's called "crank bait," and there's this one particular one that's really useful in the summer time, on the lakes in Texas. Bare with me, I'm going some place with this: the crank bait I favor looks like nothing that rarely occurs in nature. It's a brightly colored piece of plastic that sort of resembles one of Mother Nature's less successful experiments. But the fish love this one shape. It looks like a tadpole of unnatural proportions. The best color is an orange with little flecks of sparkling metallic colored stuff in it. Like I've said, it doesn't look natural. But it works better than anything else I've got in my tackle box. What's with that? Who knows what the fish are thinking when they strike at this bait. Bright colors, a wiggle, walk that lure along the edge of lake, and reel in the fish. You can catch whatever you want right now. It's how you present your bait. Unnatural colors, nothing subdued, a shape that
may not be 100% natural, you're starting to get the idea. You stand a chance of pulling in something that resembles a trophy-sized fish, but you have to be willing to experiment with something that doesn't make logical sense. Try your own crank bait."


What should I be trying I wonder. I had actually given up on the fish I was trying to reel in as I don't want to be second choice and don't want to look like a fool. Could I still win him by trying something radical, or is there another fish lurking in the shallows that I don't know about?
It just gets curiouser and curiouser.

Hey 203...please do not worry about looking like a "fool" this in itself it what keeps us from following our desires. The "fool" is only a perception in YOUR mind, not the other persons mind. Just be YOU and trust yourself. So what if you goof up...we are not perfect, we are here to live and this includes taking risks...we do not know the outcome of anything...nothing. Being human teaches us this. Instead of trying to be perfect (all of us) we need to give ourselves permission to fail, to just go for it, and then move on....each time we will grow and we will climb up the next step. Wouldn't that just be the ultimate? to know that we can do what is in our heart? yeah, I'm working on that too....

Yes but its knowing when to move on that I am never sure of. Usually it takes them finally saying "Look, it just isn't working OK!!" Before I get the picture, and then it is demoralising. I saw the signs but instead of walking away I tried to hold on. In this case if he wanted me he would go for me, not play these games. It is all in my head that he is testing me, if I listen to his words he is quite simply and honestly telling me he likes me but doesn't feel anything more. If I am wanting more myself it just because I want someone to love me and he is the only one around at the moment who pays me any attention and who I like. One lesson I have learned is that you can't force people to love you and if they do and they are not giving you the right signals or responding to yours then it is their loss. As you said, you don't know the outcome, but you do know that there is always something else around the corner. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy life and if he wants to join me he can, be it as a friend or risk trying something more. And otherwise, I'm sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea! Not all to my taste of course but such is life.

Thanks for the inspiring words too. These message boards are great for finding clarity with objectivity. There are so many people out there who have had similar experiences.

Guys I know how yous totally feel! But I totally agree about the fool thing. I think its our lesson in life to learn our karma! I have been afraid so many times in life to do what I really want and so have waited and waited and waited hoping that the wishful thinking bit will bring it to me - it doesnt. I this very day am going to forget this fool bit (well push it to the back of my mind for a bit) and go out and do what my heart has been telling me to do this last 8 months (yes 8 months) I think I have left it too late but am going to try. And my only hope is that it will learn me not to hesitate so long in future - we have one life and must do our very best - must go out there and get what we really want and desire (without hurting people of course). So my advice is go for it - so what if you fall - others fall and we dont walk over them but go and help them up again - and I'm sure someone will help us up too! Good Luck

By risking and following our heart (without a desired outcome) we will know that we truly have done what we needed to, to fulfill OUR heart, desires. What this will leave us with is a life of NO REGRETS. So many people go through life "trying" to be safe that they find themselves later looking back having so many regrets that they just didn't go for it. I want to know that I gave life my all and if things do not work out as I want them to then, it is a gift that I cannot see yet. I will trust that all is at it is and at each moment I will give my best to who I am with or what I am doing. I was in a relationship with a Cappy and I knew he was not following his heart...I was. He was miserable, I wasn't. I have no regrets, he does. Unfortunately we cannot go back and change time. We are given each moment and it is a gift to us...it is for us to decide what to do in each moment so that when our time is up here we can look back and say, "wow, I created a great life for myself". It is so OKAY if someone doesn't like us or cannot be with us...we desire someone who can be with us and share life with us...it WILL happen. Each relationship is a discovery of who we are and each relationship will get better and better because we have learned from the previous situation. Life is here for us and it is up to us how we choose to use our time here. Play with life and have fun. 145...by making the choices that you had, you learned to not hesitate. This is a good thing...My best to all of you and to myself in the choices that we are making. There really are no bad choices, only opportunities for growth.

Reading these posts have helped this Cappie tremendously. I've been in a recent relationship with a Pisces man who sort of used me for his own pleasure and in response I retaliated by using an underhanded scheme to 'show him how he hurt me'. The revenge felt sweet but for a moment, and I apologized later (but all was lost in any case). My own emotions and insecurity led to that wicked maneuver but I've learned to move on. Yes, growth comes, but the depth of the wound is highly dependent upon the time of healing.

Keep those wonderful words of wisdom coming astro-counselors!Thanks!

How about the flip side of that same coin! I am the type of person that never puts the brakes on. I have two speeds fast or dead stop. I have been told that this is a type of 'self destruction' or 'borderline behavior'. Sometimes I find myself wrecking a perfectly good relationship/friendship, for no apparent reasons. Or, I go the other way and become overwhelmed by it and that is all I can focus on. I get so frightened of going in either direction too much or not enough, that I just freeze. Kind of like a performer that chokes when underpressure. It feels like you're out in the middle of the ocean and your ship went down and it's just you and you mate; you can make it fine on your own and if you drowned then so be it, no great big deal. The problem is when you have the other person to worry about. What if you can't live up to their expectations and they drown or worse still, they find out your not the person they thought you were? It's easier to just drowned alone then have someone go down with you. That would be the ultimate pain for me.


Susan

Hi Susan,

I hope you don't mind if I throw some thoughts "out there" in cyberland....I was reading your post and your thoughts and I am wondering....actually, we all go through feeling as you do about the pressures of another person in our life. Maybe, is it possible that you may be putting to much pressure on your feelings about the "other" person? They really can take care of themselves. We all would love to have a relationship where each person enters with a sense of self, knowing who they are and we having the confidence that we trust that person. No we really never know who anyone truly is...this is self discovery. However, if each of us knows who we are, then there will be no "false" perceptions in the relationship, only discovery and allowing that person the freedom to become more of who he/she is. IT is so true that we must first love ourself before we can really love someone else. We all at one time or another have been out in that giant ocean feeling lost and wondering where we put the life jacket. Somehow, we find it in the boat and by instinct, we go on.

We need to be comfortable with who we are and then we will not freeze...we will know that all will be fine. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

FEAR= false evidence appearing real

Just be you....enjoy your life, your relationships for what they teach you, how they allow YOU to grow to be more of you. Cherish your moments with those people as you may never see them again. No pressure. Don't worry...it is a waste of energy. I remember growing up my mother worrying...she got that from her mother. My dad would say, "why do you worry, usually what you are worrying about never comes to pass!" and he was right. I saw this first hand. Wait till something happens and then deal with it. I didn't mean to get so wordy here. We have so many ways of looking at life and ourselves. It is all about the choices that we make.

I wish you the best Susan.....you will be fine you already are fine! You know how to swim, get out in that ocean and go for it!

24.88,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I had a dream or an epipheny about the same thing, and in my dream I was trying to swim while helping someone else that couln't make it. We were both going under, and God came and put his arms around me and held me and told me "let go I have them and I will take it from here. Don't worry."

I slowly getting back in the water again after almost drowning (bad relationship); I am doing half the distance in twice the amount of time, but I should be back in shape in the near future.

Thanks for your inspiration, it went right to my heart!

Sorry, I should have signed off on such a personal note.

Thanks again,
Susan

Just had to say that the definition of FEAR is excellent - I've lived in fear and having now came away from it can see that the meaning is so true.