Guess this Cap girl was never my real friend after all...

I met this Cap girl at my work place last year (school).

She was the new kid on the block but was hired in a higher position than mine (and we had to work together as her being in the lead)…she didn't pay much attention to me at the beginning and I didn't want to think she was looking down on me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and marked it down as her being new and trying to get to know people, find her feet etc…

After few weeks, turns out that absolutely NO ONE at work likes her at all…People found her really annoying and incompetent (she was inexperienced and lacked a lot of common sense), she became the joke of the place and there was so much gossip behind her back…people ignored her and were rude to her…she did not fit in.
She then realises that we have a lot in common and lots to talk about. She realises that I am the only one who sincerely try to understand and work with her flaws (hard work TBH) and accept her for who she is…I am then moved to another sector and we no longer worked together but met each other during breaks, had lunch together, sometimes went out for coffee, dinner etc…

Then after 8 months she was made redundant. She became really negative and I was there giving her emotional support and some positivity. She then found a new job which she was all nervous about and again I was there cheering her up all the way.

Fast forward to now, we don't have much time to meet up but still were going for coffees now and then, each other's house, calling, messaging etc…BUT
Last time she came to my house a few weeks ago she started asking me everything that is going on at work in terms of the work that is actually being done at her former position. I am now working with a person who is replacing her (who is very good and experienced) and Cap girl kept pressing me to give her details of all the work my co-worker is doing…I gave few examples and she started taking notes….she also wanted me to take photos and send them to her…

As I changed the subjected and didn't want to talk about work anymore, Cap girl suddenly said she was tired and needed to go home. Fine.
A few days later she messages me asking me to write her an email with all the work that my co-worker done so far and all her planning for future works…Cap girl said she is stuck and need some ideas…
I take two days to get back to her because I am not sure exactly what to say but I finally get back suggesting a few websites were Cap girl can get some ideas.
Cap girl never replied to my last message, so I take that now she isn't my friend anymore….?….
Or could it be she is ashamed of herself and is trying to hide? (I would be in her position…) She is hard working and intelligent and she has dome this teaching degree so she should be fine doing the job, but for some reason she doesn't believe in herself and she finds really hard….but I think that what she asked from me was out of order…I would never agree to do it not ev

Yeah, asking questions is fine. Maybe trying to figure out if she was really fired out of reassignment of duties (true redundancy) or if it was actually because she was doing that bad a job.

Asking for the detailed e-mail and pictures was not appropriate. I'm thinking perhaps she was trying to build a case for unlawful termination. It's not fair to you to drag you through that, though.

I wouldn't worry about her friendship. You're better off without her.

She openly said that she wanted to use my co-worker's ideas at her new workplace (they have the same position - teachers)..
She is struggling with planning for the children in her classroom and she is not good at understanding and following the curriculum so she wants to steal the ideas of the teacher I work with and uses me as a middle man…
I mean, how dare she? I don't even feel angry, I feel sad that she wanted to use me that way and sad that I no longer will see her with the same eyes even if she decided she wants to be my friend again….
Another 'friendship' gone, another person I lost trust and faith in, damn it.

I am not surprised...They are manipulators...emotional manipulation at its best...I remember now how the "Cappie" wheneva confronted wud feel tired and always wanted to go to his room....and recently after revealing his "DARK SECRET"...he started having "heart pain" and wanted to go home...when I told him 2 wait ( I knw his 'DRAMAS' now)...he initiated "physical stuff" after seeing my reaction...that I did not scream at him...instead "comforted" him coz I was tooooo shocked to react in a way I shud have....

A**H****

Posted by Goldfish
She openly said that she wanted to use my co-worker's ideas at her new workplace (they have the same position - teachers)..
She is struggling with planning for the children in her classroom and she is not good at understanding and following the curriculum so she wants to steal the ideas of the teacher I work with and uses me as a middle man…
I mean, how dare she? I don't even feel angry, I feel sad that she wanted to use me that way and sad that I no longer will see her with the same eyes even if she decided she wants to be my friend again….
Another 'friendship' gone, another person I lost trust and faith in, damn it.

I think this is a rare Cap... but they do exist.

Reminds me of my Cap cousin, whom I have cut

off for being a total user.

And she's family.

But I'm not going to tolerate the disrespect... fkng

hurt my feelings! Bleh!

I totally understand your initial reaction to this! Sounds like she is a user and you don't appreciate the backhanded approach she is taking, I get that.
But, it sounds like with her inexperience in the field and in the workplace in general she might just be trying to find her way.
Caps are fantastic at making the most of what they have available, and at some point a mature Cap will find the tools they need to succeed and create their own formula for success...
Until they do, this is what can happen. She may be looking for a mentor and it seems like a clumsy attempt at first, but if perhaps you do value her friendship, maybe you could tell her how this makes you feel and just suggest an alternative.
You've offered the websites but maybe you could invite her for a coffee and bring your laptop and start looking up some supplementary courses she could take online or part time school which will teach her to implement her own methods in the classroom.
It's something to do together as friends and it's not a judgemental approach.
It makes it clear to her you aren't willing to provide her with middleman access but shows you support her growth and learning outside of that box.
Any smart Cap will be both impressed and feel closer to you I think 🙂

I agree with wagtail.

I don't get user from what you posted.

She wants you to do a bunch of crazy stuff in which you should just tell her "girl, I'm not doing any of that" and keep it moving...maybe tell her what her issue is and how she needs to deal with it. She seems lost and as if she needs LOTS of support. I think she's still your friend, but she could very well be embarrassed. Maybe she did peg you as someone that would do whatever she asked, no matter how ridiculous, and she realizes that you wont, so now the ridiculousness is hitting her in the face, but I think she'll come around.

Wagtail had good advice.

Posted by FitzyBabe
I am not surprised...They are manipulators...emotional manipulation at its best...I remember now how the "Cappie" wheneva confronted wud feel tired and always wanted to go to his room....and recently after revealing his "DARK SECRET"...he started having "heart pain" and wanted to go home...when I told him 2 wait ( I knw his 'DRAMAS' now)...he initiated "physical stuff" after seeing my reaction...that I did not scream at him...instead "comforted" him coz I was tooooo shocked to react in a way I shud have....

A**H****

This has nothing to do with her problem.