Hello! I have a question *waves and smile

Do you ever talk about things except for work, family or studies - how personal does it get? Do you see each other in person occationally? If so, what do you do? If not, why not?

Idk.

Personally, It's rare I text first, even if Im hoping for contact. I think how quick he responds could be an indication of his interest because I am the same way. Never initiate, yet instantly responds.

If I was to dig deeper into my actions I think it all boils down to comfort. I can't speak for him, but it's possible there may not be enough comfort there, and if there was, something may have happened to make him back off a little emotionally. Or, he could just really be busy, idk.

Posted by readingisawesome
@HappyCapper Hello! I can ask him anything I want. But I really am skeptical about this friendship hence I don't ever cross the friendship lines plus our parents are really great friends. And he is very shy. We haven't met since long now because he works in a far off place from where I live.

Okay, so you feel you can ask him anything you want, but where does that go? "How's your mom?" "How was work?" or "What is the meaning of life?"

You say you're skeptical about this friendship. What do you mean by that?

Sorry for all the questions, but I don't think I know enough to give you any form of advice atm.

"I have never shown him I am interested in him. But I really like him. "

So there's a bit of calculation there, along self preservation, if that's the right word. You are aware of the energy and signals you are putting out there, and you are withholding. Basically, this proves my point on trust. Its hard to trust a person that withholds. Not to say you are wrong for this, because he seems the same...so am I, but it makes the process, with two calculating and withholding people, darn near impossible to get off the ground or extremely slow. It also brings a bit of tension.

I deal with this type of person, but I don't think Id be scared to initiate texts with someone who was more free, less calculating or withholding. Someone thats open, you know that if you initiate they'll respond, and if they are not responding then they can't at the moment but will...and they are most likely not going to analyze what you say, or censor what they are saying. I may be going off course a bit, but what Im trying to say is an open person, we can trust, secures our emotions. If I text someone and have to analyze the process then that brings insecurity and makes me clam up.

Im probably making a big deal out of something small, but little things like that are analyzed. He's probably scratching his head wondering about if you are interested or not.

Posted by readingisawesome
@HappyCapper Thank you so much for taking such an interest. When I read the advice people end up giving here, I was floored. Such maturity is rare. I ask him everything- from..How is your mom?...to have you had dinner?...Why don't you believe in astrology?...Why aren't you dating anyone?...

There is no restriction. I am skeptical in the sense...that we are very close family friends if I show too much of an interest and if he doesn't feel the same way..things can become very weird.

Np🙂

I think Inana04 has a point, but I also think this is a much too early stage to expect anyone to not do a little withholding.

Even though you say you feel you can ask him anything, I do get the feeling that there's a definite line that you wouldn't tread. Friendzoned?

I may be completely wrong, but is there an age difference between the two of you? If you have met as much younger, then at that time, age differences seem much greater - maybe he sees you as younger than you really are? And seeing as he is your mentor, is it possible that his advice could be seen more as fatherly advice? But it is, imo, ofc possible that he is really interested - he does seem to be reliable when it comes to answering your texts.

I'm just throwing out ideas here, though, and possible scenarios - I don't feel I know enough to give you any advice at this point other than this:

See him in person! I'm pretty sure that would wash away all doubt.

Sorry. Was just guessing as you are close family friends and you didn't remember being in the same school as him.

Hmm, so you live that far apart? Well, that might be a reason for him not pushing it too.

Posted by readingisawesome
@HappyCapper No worries. I don't remember him in my school as how should I put it gracefully...he wasn't a popular child back then, I guess used to stay in shadows.

True or maybe he is evaluating his options. Or maybe simply considering me a friend, pretty neutral. It is really helping chatting with you, I am able to see all the aspects of my friendship with him. Thank you! 🙂

Difference in popularity, I feel, tend to stick to a person for a long time. Maybe he's back in the old days, sure that you're not interested in him? Remember, he's used to you not noticing him.

If this is the case, I would guess your only option is to open up to something more yourself, because he might never do it. I'd take it reallly slow, though. Just a feeling, but then my feeling has deserted me before in this thread, so...😉