Help w/Cappy Man

Help w/Cappy Man

Hello all..I'm a newby looking for some advise re: the irresitible cappy men. I have found this msg board so interesting and helpful and was hoping for some good sound advise and yes, I must admit, to be able to vent a little. My cappy and I were set up (if that is what you would call it) through a mutual friend of ours well over 7 - 8 months ago. I'll do my best to make this short but hey, I'm a cancer, and we love to let our emotions out. Mr. Cappy and I have been talking by phone and e-mail all this time and never meet. I have read enough about Capps to know that they are very slow movers and since I'm a cancer girl I have no problem with this. At least that was what I thought...didn't realize there were others slower than cancers. I offered some time ago to take this man (and our mutual friend) lunch at work (after many sublte hints from him). I just asked that he let me know the day b/f so that I could plan for it as I have a child. He has kids of his own and its always been a mutual understanding that they come first. He never called, emailed, esp'd me nothing re: lunch. I swallowed my pride and called him the day b/f and he did not answer so I left no message b/c I knew he was off work that day and maybe he just hinted at the lunch many times and just got cold feet once I actually suggested it. The following Monday morning I receive an e-mail from him enlightening me that "chips and a coke only go so far!" Whoa...what a minute...what the H $ !!..I sent a response the following day b/c I wanted to make him wait alittle bit since yes, I'll admit, I was P! $ $ D by his e-mail. I attached a copy of my prior e-mail to him to my response so that he could see that I offered on Monday morning to take the lunch on either Thrus or Fri and I had asked if he could let me know at least by Wed night so I could plan for it. I explained that I even went so far as to call him the prior day. I then proceeded to add a short paragraph that I had waited on men all my life to make up their minds and I was not waiting around any more. I wasn't trying to be mean but dang a girl can't wait around forever, right.

I figured I had blew it b/c he did not call or e-mail me for a week and I certainly was not contacting him. Finally, I get an e-mail and so we are off again...the lunch incident was never brought up again. The phone calls and e-mails were there again, the subtle flirting, the suggestion that we meet out one night but no direct plans was there. I had decided to continue playing my cards very slowly and wait for him to make the move. Time went by with the only communication being the phone and e-mail still. At this point, I'm feeling very attracted to this man's personality/sense of humor (that he would let out on occassion for me) and after so many phone calls/e-mails I know we had much in common. He called one night and I could instantly sense something wrong in his voice and that there was something he wanted to tell me. When I asked about it he said he needed to vent to someone about somethign that happended at his job. So I listened and offered help once he was finished venting. He actually accepted my offer of help. Funny thing is that the next day he calls me to see what I had done with regard to what I was helping him with and I could tell he was testing me. Well, I'm not one to let people done so I gave him all the info he needed/wanted. YES!!!!!!!!!! This Cappy man was going to learn to trust me slowly but surely. At this point, I was so attracted to his intelligence, sense of humor (that I am actually able to drag out of him ocassionally, and his personality. During another conversation we had he mentioned some financial problems he was having. I made a mere suggestion as to how he could maybe take care of it and then found myself writing two letter for him to creditors. YES!!!! Again, I just knew I had to be getting closer to meeting him right! I mean this man is really starting to trust me right. Ab

So sorry for such a long winded story........

I'm so afraid of pushing him away if I tell him what I'm feeling. Its crazy since I do not even know what the man looks like but I just don't really care about his looks b/c I'm so into what I know is on the inside. As a Cappy will he turn and run if I tell him? I just don't know....

AM, my dob is 7/3/69 and his is 1/12/64. Thank you very much for any help/input you can give me.

Have you meet him in person first off?What does the don't know what he looks like mean?Other than that,it sounds like you guys already farely know eachother pretty good so don't think anything too bad could happen,whats the worst that will happen he say no.Thier not that easily chased off by just words or feelings(unless you get intense about it when it doesn't go your way)from a friend.

T, thats just it..we have not meet. I know my first posting was really long and sorry for that but I was trying to explain its almost like we have this major connection, trust, etc. between us but "we just haven't met!" I'm really scared of telling him what I feel b/c then he will probably turn and run the other direction...what's a girl to do.....

I would say to set up a meet and don't go through with it until you guys know each other on a face to face level and the connections still there.Based on the capricorns I know they aren't that weirded out by meeting people that they already know they can talk to,and keep topics going.So just telling him you want to meet him in person,maybe won't make him think anything except you want to finally meet the person behind the voice.He might be curious as well.Suggest lunch,family day with both your kids,pretty much anything you would do with one of your friends.

I'm a Capricorn, and I usually go for Cancer women.

This may be cruel, but I think you should motivate him through messing with him. The last Cancer I went out with I didn't make a move on until she stopped being interested in me. It was then that I realized I wanted her around. I would suggest telling your mutual friend that you're not sure if it's going to work out, because he doesn't want to plan to meet.

I really think you've got to force him to realize what you are to him.

AG, thanks for your response. I've read alot of your post and I really learn alot from what you have to say but, having said that, you should know us cancer women. We are very emotional and have a difficult time "not" showing it. I've tried the ignoring him tactic and it only works to an extent, i.e. he will start call again if he's slacked off. I have to say that I've done really well with this guy (keeping my emotions in check that is) but its getting harder and harder. As you can tell from my first looooonnggg post, everytime I suggest try to get together he ignores it (or runs as I refer to it) and when he tries then I'm tied up w/my kid. Can you tell me if Cappy's like surprises? I was thinking I could just show up at his job w/lunch, calling him and telling him I'm outside w/his lunch to come out and meet me. Do you think that would be a major turn off for him?

Besos~
I also have a friend that is a capricorn his name is Barret and its funny you asked that question because I asked him the same thing about surprise visits and he said that he thinks it would be romantic if he was dating the girl, but if he just started dating her he said it would be a bit weird like stalker status. I on the other hand think it would be a sweet gesture! And I say go for it!

Yes, I agree with both of you G and O. Its a sign of desparation and I would seem like I'm stalking him. No, no,no I can't have that. The bad thing is I've always thought about this b/c we do have a "mutual" friend that I certainly do not want to embarass myself in front of. In keeping with what AG suggested ( and AG, I always love your advise on other posts) I will try "messing w/him." Since I am handling some personal things for him that require me to contact him I will so by e-mail and other than that I'll just be unavailable until I get some kind of voice mail from him asking me to meet or something along those lines. Does this sound good? Of course, I'll be subtle about this.....😉

I think it sounds Great!!