Help with dating cap guy

I've recently went through a similar incident with a cap. Part of me wonders if me being emotional when with him (crying over something) scared him, but I really don't think that was it. We were close and he wants to be supportive of me. Your situation sounds similar.

If he's telling you "he's busy" then I'd believe that he's just busy. It's soo hard, but try not take lack of communication too personally with cappies. The fact that he openly is going out of his way to stay in your life tells me that he probably isn't going any where. If he wanted to be gone, he'd be gone. And the sag moon reinforces this.

I'm not sure if you're looking to move forward or what, but he will come back into your life more heavily when it's good for him. Obviously that time could never come, but I wouldn't be pessimistic. He will focus on what is most important in his life at any given time. At the moment that isn't you and other things are calling for him.

My cap did end up breaking things off after another month. I'm still pretty heartbroken but we've became alot more emotional close in this period without being lovers. Don't bombard him with "we need to talk about what's going on!!" messages, but when you do talk very maturely discuss it. This could be a good point for you two to become more emotionally close as well! Be light with the discussion for his sake, but you're entitled to the talk and if he doesn't like it then he is being dumb. Say things like "you've been so busy lately, are you stressed about it?" And make sure he knows that you're there for support if he needs it. He will like knowing you're there even when he isn't able to give you as much attention as normal. And if he doesn't ever take you up on the offer of being a shoulder for him to cry on, don't be offended. He likely still appreciates it. 🙂

I hope that helped some!!

Sounds like Vegas was the catalyst. Something happened or was said that might have turned him off. All I can tell you is to look back and try to figure out what it was. Once you figure it out, you have something to work with.

His distance could be that he has to get his life together in order to include someone else in it. For instance, getting a job would be number one priority and he may not want to proceed in the relationship because he doesn't know where or how he'll end up. If he has to relocate, he doesn't want any ties to keep him from doing so.

But, I will say this, once I start to distance, it's pretty much over.

I didn't mean to discourage you, if I did.

Give it a little time. Lean back and see if he pulls toward you. I don't know how much you're contacting him, but if you're one initiating contact, asking for time then it doesn't allow him to and it comes across as chasing and desperate. When he does contact you, be warm and friendly (we're afraid of rejection Shhh!), but don't be all eager either.

Be independent, confident, humourous, sassy and self sufficient.

When you asked him before about the distance, what did he say?

Maybe you need to mention it again. Like "I've noticed some distance lately, just curious if there is anything you want to talk about". That comes across as concern and not needy. Then you might have to push to get the answer from him. Sometimes we need to be pushed. And don't let him off easy with a "I've been busy remark" either. You might have to come right out and ask if something has happened to make him want to distance from you. Remember, though, whether the answer is good or bad you have a right to know.

Oh, some will say you'll scare him off, but only if he hem haws around or gives lame answers should you push. But he said get more confidence right? And a confident woman will not let a man behave this way.

Remember, don't be emotional (that might have been the trigger before) and don't get mad at him if he gets honest with you and it's not what you want to hear. Remain logical and rational and confident!!

Your Capricorn could be depressed also. You said he is looking for work, an apartment and there is a family member that is sick. Caps like to have stability and control in their lives. Both Caps and Sag will close up when they are depressed. Both signs are very proud, we like to help others but would NEVER ask for help, although we could use some. What I would do is offer him a home cooked meal, movie night or to come over for drinks, anything where he doesn't feel obliged to dish out a lot of money. Don't mention why, let him discuss his problems if he wants to, chances are he won't and will be happy just forgeting them for a while. If he's not interested, he will let you know, we're the ones who are accused of being blunt and too direct!

Also, nothing turns me off more than someone who is always contacting me, I don't know how often you have contacted him in past, but anyone that contacts me all the time, especially if they do it more than once a day, gets cut off immediately by me. I NEED my space. And please let it be short texts! I get tired of reading! lol!!


Hope this helps.

Well, I wouldn't approach it again. At this point, I would lean back and let him come to you. Test that rubber band theory and see if it works. Meanwhile, just do your thing. Make plans with the girls (don't break those plans for him if he contacts), go shopping, go to the movies, whatever it takes to keep busy. See other guys even if its just as friends. Keep your options open.

These are not my words. I found this as a good explanation on a blog site.

I'm going to copy from the John Grey book and post the theory with his explanation on the relationships board. Go check it out.

The Rubber Band Theory.

It plays on the idea that like a rubber band, the man will start to want his space and pull back. Instead of chasing after him, the woman should let him have his space, and maybe even pull back a bit herself. With this space comes tension, just like you would see when you pull a rubber band in two separate directions. But the further you pull the rubber band apart, the more strongly it will come together creating an even closer relationship.

At first I thought this was an odd concept. Why would you want to pull away? But then I realized, the opposite of pulling away is when you cling on and seek even more attention=not good. There's probably nothing more annoying to a guy when a girl is at his beckoning call, waiting, practically begging for his attention. Being a little mysterious, or better yet, being independent is much more attractive than being a girl who has nothing better with her time than to sit around and wait for some of his attention.