he's baaaack

but i guess he never really left?

i've known this cap guy since high school but we loathed each other back then. fast forward to may of 2007, after years of not even thinking about each other, and he ends up at the same joint my best friend was throwing his birthday party. it was instantaneous attraction. it was like we were meeting each other for the first time.

over the course of 2 years it was rather tumultuous. everything was so extreme. yes, the verbal communication was haywire because we had different ways of expressing ourselves. we basically spoke different love languages that we were constantly trying to interpret. timing was off too. first i was still with my ex and then a month before i broke it off with him cap got with his now current (i think) gf.

so now i'm single and he's attached but the friendship inevitably becomes stronger and we inevitably become more attracted to one another. we couldn't help ourselves. seriously, it was this incredibly magnetic force and when we were together it was fire and electricity. everyone noticed it. i think that is why he only ever brought his gf around once when he was still just dating her. we could barely keep our hands off of each other it was so bad. he would literally drape himself on me like an article of clothing when we were out. i am touchy-feely anyway but i tried to keep my boundaries in check. unfortunately, we were always in danger of crossing that fine line.

this is what caused the drama we had. we even tried to take breaks from each other (the longest lasting 2 months) and every time we would re-unite it was like no time had passed at all. we were right back where we started and the intensity of our feelings was stronger than the last. i finally broke down and let him go in june. i didn't know what else to do. keeping our friendship was causing too many problems and i was riddled with guilt of feeling like a home wrecker. i didn't hear from him again until my birthday in august when he wished me well.

i haven't heard from him since again... until thanksgiving. i sent out a general text to everyone in my phonebook wishing them a happy thanksgiving. he responded in less than 5 minutes. he said he realized that he had been sending texts to my old number and figured i hated him since i never responded. funny thing is that i got my # changed in july and he sent me my birthday text in august... (cont.)

i told him that i could never hate him and reminded him that he knows why it wasn't working out. he said he was glad i didn't hate him and that he wants to plan an evening for us to see each other again in the near future. he would like it to be asap but this is his busy season at work where he does most of his travelling.

anyway, i'm feeling a bit wary and apprehensive. in the past i would have been ecstatic but now i'm just a little worried. i don't want it to go back to the way things were. i want us to acknowledge the hardship we went through and have the ability to move past it for good. that was something we couldn't accomplish before. i want us to finally openly discuss everything and then laugh at ourselves and the situation. just let it go. even though i called the shots in the end, i don't think there was ever any real closure. he obviously didn't think so if he was still trying to text me this whole time. plus i have a new guy in my life and i've had to deal with cap's jealousy a few times in the past. the whole 2 years i was single and not even dating. that only started happening after i dropped cap.

i hope i hope i hope that we can truly start anew and i truly hope those feelings don't come flooding back.

i am with taurus now. that doesn't mean that i never loved others. it's one of those situations of "old habits die hard". i want cap and i to be good friends this time. since we were so attracted to each other in the past, and it's been almost 6 months since i've seen him last, i'm hoping that enough time has transpired to where those feelings have subsided. i know that it has on my end. i'm not sure about him. i'm expressing my anxiety that we'll just end up back where we started like so many times before. i still love him dearly but some of that passion has waned. it could just be because there was no contact though. :/

If you have taken your Taurus man offer to be his girl, why would you want to see this Cap man? Why would you want sparks to fly? Cap men are very loyal faithful lovers to their mates. When in love, they don't step out on their partners. If he is in love I must add again.

Cap men will not play second fiddle to another man anyways, wanting to see you would mean one or two things, he wants sex or he needs space away from his girl because she is not the one for him.

Cap men are serious lovers. They will never be serious with an unfaithful woman. If he finds out that you have a man still wanting him, he is going to treat you coldly. Sometimes it is good to just save urges.

Posted by krobe03
If you have taken your Taurus man offer to be his girl, why would you want to see this Cap man? Why would you want sparks to fly? Cap men are very loyal faithful lovers to their mates. When in love, they don't step out on their partners. If he is in love I must add again.

Cap men will not play second fiddle to another man anyways, wanting to see you would mean one or two things, he wants sex or he needs space away from his girl because she is not the one for him.

Cap men are serious lovers. They will never be serious with an unfaithful woman. If he finds out that you have a man still wanting him, he is going to treat you coldly. Sometimes it is good to just save urges.

why do i wanna see cap man again? cuz we were great friends & we love each other. yes, there was amazing chemistry and sexual tension between us. that's why i was trying to do the right thing and i cut him off for the past 6 months. no communication whatsoever. we're testing the waters again to see if we can handle it. i'm in a different place in my head and heart in regards to him now. i'm very happy with my taurus. cap and i both have the loyalty factor going on which makes a complete breaking off very difficult.

i don't understand the "playing 2nd fiddle to another man" comment. how is that even possible if he was only ever just a friend? just because we felt the urges doesn't mean we acted on them. he can't return for sex cuz we never engaged in any intimate acts... including kissing! taurus and cap know about each other. they are both very aware that i have many men in my life. i've never hidden that fact. cap probably minds more because of his jealous streak but, in the end, that's his problem. he knows where i stand and he knows what kinda person i am.

this whole thread has been taken to another level. i was merely expressing my anxieties here as if it were a blog or a diary. i have no intentions of "hooking up" with cap. i don't know yet what his intentions are but i'm a big girl and can make executive decisions. i had to do it before and i can do it again! 😉

p.s. it's not possible for me to be unfaithful.

Posted by scorpio_chic
I'm sorry ninj, I think we were under the impression that you & cap used to have sex.. the comment about not being able to keep your hands off each other is what gave me that impression. I think others may have thought that too.. but now I see that's not what you meant.

it's cool. i read over it again and i can see where everyone got that impression. we couldn't keep from touching each other but it was never in a sexual sense. we were just always hanging off each other, would stand super close as if we were conjoined, half hugging, engage in eye sex, stuff like that. i was a pretty good girl. i may be a horn dog, i may be touchy-feely, but believe it or not i am respectable. i am rarely impulsive and i have control over my compulsions and urges... most of the time. 😉

there is a little update... he has since called me and we talked for the first time in 6 months. he sounded extremely nervous, kinda drunk, and super excited at the same time. i couldn't talk at the time so it was brief but it looks like he will be accompanying me to a show this saturday. we will be surrounded by a bunch of my musician friends so i think it should be safe. he was talking about me coming over to his house where we'll cook up some food together and talk. luckily things worked out in my favor. we're gonna catch up over dinner at my best friend's (another safe zone!) then head to the performance. i think it will be ok. in the past i used to be elated if he ever called or texted me. so far he's not stirring up those feelings. i definitely feel more detached from him in that department. maybe this can work after all!

nah, we've only been wanting each other since may of 2007. we've known each other since high school but we kinda hated each other back then. the only reason i ever knew he existed is because my best friend at the time had one class with him and became instantly obssessed. apparently he had the same lunch with us and every now and then would sit at our table if we weren't skipping out. i don't know what it was that we didn't like about the other either. we disliked each other from the start and without provocation. i think i was just kinda bitchy cuz i was a rebellious, angsty, punk of a teenager that was borderline emo and he was this uptight, pretentious, goody-goody, kinda snooty dork. meh.